Need some dating/life help!

[Nyoron]

hi all~

this is difficult for me to say, but here goes.. i've never dated or anything before (i'm 24), but recently i met a girl online. i was just happy chatting at first, but she wants to meet me, and she gave me her phone #. now.. i really like her, and would like to be able to do this, but i just get a really awful feeling about the concept of just calling her.. i just don't know if i'm even ready to be with someone, and i have serious doubts that the call will go well.. i'm terrible at conversation, and this might sound pathetic, but i've never really spoken (as in a personal 1-1 conversation) with a girl before. i have no idea what i'd say past 'hi'. ugh. this post was terrible, so sorry for that; i have trouble expressing feelings in words.

not sure what i was expecting from this, there isn't even a question, but maybe someone has an opinion for me?

thanks ^^

 

[HermitFox]

Hiya...I'd say, that you should really try and go ahead and ring her, because, I'm sure you are ready to be with someone.

do you think she'd be okay if you just told her you get anxiety...or whatever the problem is, and she could help and understand a bit better, that's if you haven't mentioned it already..erk..

just worth mentioning, I think...I hope things work out okay. meep...

 

[OceanMist]

From my experience, I've found that one person can make a conversation last for hours. She may be one of those people, so the conversation initiation thing may not be an issue.

If it is, you could plan ahead of time with conversation starters. Study it like you would with something and school and memorize it.

If the conversation is dead, then maybe you two aren't meant to be together. I've had a situation where I would try to start conversation and the girl just had this dead personality where this happened. It was obvious we were too different.

It was me trying to get her to get the conversation to flow, and her not going with the flow. It was awkward and ugly.

 

[bannerwave]

this might help u out
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/how-to-socialize-have-a-conversation-with-people-its-long-36766/

yea its probably a good idea to take notes (since youve never had a 1 on 1 conversation) for the phone since you can have the notes in front of you

 

[Silatuyok]

Aaaaah, I've done this before, and it is nerve-wracking! I usually jot down a few "talking points" beforehand...questions you want to ask, or any conversation topics that might be good. Even complete phrases or sentences that you may need to remind yourself to say are good! The great thing is that you two are just getting to know each other, so it's not awkward at all to just come out with some random question that you are interested in knowing about her.
And, when it comes down to it, don't let the conversation dwindle. IF it is starting to taper off, or even before that point, be sure to wrap it up and say something like, "Okay, well, I should be getting to bed now, but can I call you again tomorrow?" or something like that. You don't want to cut her off or seem disinterested and curt, but it's best to leave her interested and wanting to know more...
GOOD LUCK! and let us know how it goes.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Good luck! You can do it!

 

[Nyoron]

Hiya...I'd say, that you should really try and go ahead and ring her, because, I'm sure you are ready to be with someone.

thanks for the encouragement not sure about mentioning my sa though. hmm~

From my experience, I've found that one person can make a conversation last for hours. She may be one of those people, so the conversation initiation thing may not be an issue.

yeah, i think this is what i'm betting on, if she's anything like me it would just be double awkward, lol.

If the conversation is dead, then maybe you two aren't meant to be together. I've had a situation where I would try to start conversation and the girl just had this dead personality where this happened. It was obvious we were too different.

never thought about it like that, but it makes sense, can't always just blame myself, right? thanks for the advice

Aaaaah, I've done this before, and it is nerve-wracking! I usually jot down a few "talking points" beforehand...questions you want to ask, or any conversation topics that might be good. Even complete phrases or sentences that you may need to remind yourself to say are good! The great thing is that you two are just getting to know each other, so it's not awkward at all to just come out with some random question that you are interested in knowing about her.
And, when it comes down to it, don't let the conversation dwindle. IF it is starting to taper off, or even before that point, be sure to wrap it up and say something like, "Okay, well, I should be getting to bed now, but can I call you again tomorrow?" or something like that. You don't want to cut her off or seem disinterested and curt, but it's best to leave her interested and wanting to know more...
GOOD LUCK! and let us know how it goes.

thanks! i'll try to remember all that

one other thing i often find happens alot with conversation, is hitting some kind of question where my answer feels like a taboo. for example, talking about previous relationships/first kisses etc. when those things don't exist for me.. or asking if i go out a lot, what i did over the weekend, etc. i guess people usually have a lot to say about little things like this that they relate to each other with, but for me, i start feeling very low and negative when realizing i don't have any good answer to such questions. does that make sense? any ideas on how to deal with this?

anyway, i feel a bit better now, thanks all i'll try and report back on how it actually went *faints*