Shrimp
Member
I'm fairly new to this forum, and I would like to share my story so hopefully someone can help me out on what to do.
This might be long but please bare with me, I really need the help.
I've been suicidally depressed for quite a while now, it started to affect the people I love.
My ex girlfriend got sick of it and decided it was time for her to move on without me.
That same day I climbed out of my window, called up my best and only friend and thanked him for spending so much time on a trainwreck like me.
I hung up and put on my favourite song on vinyl which I always used to listen to with my ex when I felt down.
Eventually the police showed up as my friend had called them because he was so worried.
The cops took me in and put me in a mental hospital for a while, untill my depression had stabilized and I was ready to face the world once again.
My best friend stopped replying to my messages and phonecalls, I kept trying untill I received a message from him telling me tha the was done with me and my negative behaviour and so I lost the last friend I had.
Instead of moving forward I stopped doing anything alltogether, I stepped out of school and became a NEET (not in education, employment or training) and spend most of my time on the internet.
I discovered buddhism not long after that, started meditating for 30 minutes every day and taught myself how to love again and decided that this feeling of accomplishment was the best thing I've felt in a long time and that I wanted to change my life around.
I started going to the gym, which later became an obsession.
I became confident about my body, and instead of walking around with my head down and my eyes towards the ground I walked upright and smiled at people I didn't even know.
My dad found me a job every saturday, and I became a bartender during the weekends.
It doesn't pay much, and it's hard work keeping all the customers statisfied when you have trouble being social.
Yet I'm not entirely satisfied with my life just yet.
1. For instance I dont have any friends yet, and I'm sick of feeling so lonely all the time.
I want to have friends, meet new people and take them somewhere to have fun.
How can I find people near me that are willing to hang out with me and do stuff?
2. I want to go back to school and make my parents proud, I'm sick of sitting in my room every day doing nothing.
I'm not sure what school to pick, as I'm afraid I will give up again.
I was thinking about getting a sports degree so I can work at a gym or something, but I'm scared that it might not be the job for me and that I'm just over-obsesing about something small again.
That's all, thanks for whoever took the time to read all of this.
I hope this gets some replies, because I'm sick of living like this.
This might be long but please bare with me, I really need the help.
I've been suicidally depressed for quite a while now, it started to affect the people I love.
My ex girlfriend got sick of it and decided it was time for her to move on without me.
That same day I climbed out of my window, called up my best and only friend and thanked him for spending so much time on a trainwreck like me.
I hung up and put on my favourite song on vinyl which I always used to listen to with my ex when I felt down.
Eventually the police showed up as my friend had called them because he was so worried.
The cops took me in and put me in a mental hospital for a while, untill my depression had stabilized and I was ready to face the world once again.
My best friend stopped replying to my messages and phonecalls, I kept trying untill I received a message from him telling me tha the was done with me and my negative behaviour and so I lost the last friend I had.
Instead of moving forward I stopped doing anything alltogether, I stepped out of school and became a NEET (not in education, employment or training) and spend most of my time on the internet.
I discovered buddhism not long after that, started meditating for 30 minutes every day and taught myself how to love again and decided that this feeling of accomplishment was the best thing I've felt in a long time and that I wanted to change my life around.
I started going to the gym, which later became an obsession.
I became confident about my body, and instead of walking around with my head down and my eyes towards the ground I walked upright and smiled at people I didn't even know.
My dad found me a job every saturday, and I became a bartender during the weekends.
It doesn't pay much, and it's hard work keeping all the customers statisfied when you have trouble being social.
Yet I'm not entirely satisfied with my life just yet.
1. For instance I dont have any friends yet, and I'm sick of feeling so lonely all the time.
I want to have friends, meet new people and take them somewhere to have fun.
How can I find people near me that are willing to hang out with me and do stuff?
2. I want to go back to school and make my parents proud, I'm sick of sitting in my room every day doing nothing.
I'm not sure what school to pick, as I'm afraid I will give up again.
I was thinking about getting a sports degree so I can work at a gym or something, but I'm scared that it might not be the job for me and that I'm just over-obsesing about something small again.
That's all, thanks for whoever took the time to read all of this.
I hope this gets some replies, because I'm sick of living like this.
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