Kathryn
Well-known member
For many years, the only friend I've ever had was a girl named Jessie. I've been off and on with her for 12 years, due to the fact that she is very arrogant and ready to fight all the time. I've tried being nice to her to avoid fighting, but no matter what I do she seems to see me as her "puppy dog", and she never ceases to let me know my weaknesses. Jessie is obese...she's been that way as long as I can remember and whenever she eats she laughs about how fat she is, exposing her insecurity. She's extremely lazy; on the weekends when I phone her up she says she's too busy doing nothing. She goes to bed at 12 and sleeps till 1pm and does nothing but eat in between.
She picks on all of my faults, from my nervous nailpicking to my involvement in the honors club at school. She has always treated me like dirt, in fact, there are very rare instances where we act like actual friends.
Jessie knows about my social anxiety. Whenever we are in public together, she reminds me of how "weird" I acted, and how ridiculous and nervous I looked in front of the other person.
Yesterday, for instance, we went to get the inside of her car washed. I waited there for two hours with her and her friend, Clarissa.
As we sat there, a man came up to us and started a conversation about her car. When he talked, to me I didn't answer. My friend Jessie bluntly told the man that "Kathryn doesn't talk." The man laughed and walked away. I was nervous and very embarassed.
So the three of us went to Walmart. Jessie and Clarissa talked about how hot the guys there were, and Clarissa kept talking about how easily she would have sex with each hot boy who passed by. I sat there mute most of the time, frustrated. Whenever I didn't talk, Jessie had to point out this fact to Clarissa and the two would stare at me.
I think the only reason why I am friends with this girl is because I have no friends to begin with (I am too shelled and quiet to be of interest to anybody). The fact that she lives barely a block away from me doesn't help either. As far as I know, friends aren't supposed to treat you this way, but then again, how should I know...??
From her point of view, Clarissa and I are her only friends. She uses me as a punching bag for her frustration, while Clarissa is used for her "dirty talk."
So at this point I feel that I need to cut the leash, although I am afraid I will never be able to excape her. If I stop our relationship, I will have no human contact whatsoever, so which seems better? I've done this before. During one of our fights, I had not a single person to talk to. Often I would just sit in my room staring at the wall.
So tell me, what do you think I should do...(Srry, I know that was long)
She picks on all of my faults, from my nervous nailpicking to my involvement in the honors club at school. She has always treated me like dirt, in fact, there are very rare instances where we act like actual friends.
Jessie knows about my social anxiety. Whenever we are in public together, she reminds me of how "weird" I acted, and how ridiculous and nervous I looked in front of the other person.
Yesterday, for instance, we went to get the inside of her car washed. I waited there for two hours with her and her friend, Clarissa.
As we sat there, a man came up to us and started a conversation about her car. When he talked, to me I didn't answer. My friend Jessie bluntly told the man that "Kathryn doesn't talk." The man laughed and walked away. I was nervous and very embarassed.
So the three of us went to Walmart. Jessie and Clarissa talked about how hot the guys there were, and Clarissa kept talking about how easily she would have sex with each hot boy who passed by. I sat there mute most of the time, frustrated. Whenever I didn't talk, Jessie had to point out this fact to Clarissa and the two would stare at me.
I think the only reason why I am friends with this girl is because I have no friends to begin with (I am too shelled and quiet to be of interest to anybody). The fact that she lives barely a block away from me doesn't help either. As far as I know, friends aren't supposed to treat you this way, but then again, how should I know...??
From her point of view, Clarissa and I are her only friends. She uses me as a punching bag for her frustration, while Clarissa is used for her "dirty talk."
So at this point I feel that I need to cut the leash, although I am afraid I will never be able to excape her. If I stop our relationship, I will have no human contact whatsoever, so which seems better? I've done this before. During one of our fights, I had not a single person to talk to. Often I would just sit in my room staring at the wall.
So tell me, what do you think I should do...(Srry, I know that was long)
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