My intro - Diagnose ME

[in-search]

Hi everyone, here is my introduction and hopefully you get to also help diagnose me. So far i believe i have Social Anxieties or severe case of shyness/nervousness. If you dont want to read all the details, then you can skip all the way below to where it says the summary. Thanks for everyones help.

Ok so i am 27 and all this, what i am about to tell you, started when i was around 17-18 years old in my last year of high school.

When i was around 17-18 i started to feel nervous around school for no reason. At this time it wasnt because of girls or because i was getting bullied. I dont know what it was i just started feeling nervous at school and it would get so bad that i started to vomit from the stomach acid that would build up inside my stomach from being nervous. I was popular i knew people and would hang out with friends after school. I also had several very beautiful friend girls that i know liked me more as a friend as well. I just dont know what it was but i started getting nervous around school or anytime i got near school. Like i said this nervousness was so bad it would build up a lot of stomach acid and i would have to puke it out quietly in the bathroom. it wierd because i had gone to this school for 3 years now and i knew everyone.

Anyways fast forward through out the years once i was like 21-23 it went away somewhat and i would go out with friends to clubs and bars and i would have such a good time and i wouldnt worry about anything.

Then my dad had cancer and died. That was internally devasting and at that same time my anxieties kicked in again and i couldnt even go back to college during the day. I would asked to goto the bathroom just to throwup the stomach acid from being nervous, i had to drop out of my classes.

Now ever since then i rarely go out to clubs or bars or hang out at house parties with friends. If i do its like 2 or 4 times out of the year. Its sad and i get so nervous that i push away friends and make up excuses whenever they want to hang out at a bar or club. I just get so nervous thinking about arriving to such a social place like that and i start to get nausea to the point where i have to vomit. usually i get threw it and i vomit and i feel much better that i can infact proceed to the social event such as a bar or club. But i just cant help it that when i am invited to a bar /club/party i get nervous thoughts of vomiting or thoughts of being nervous that would make me vomit in a public place like a bar or club that i make excuses to avoid such a situation.

This has also been the case now with meeting or dating girls. I feel llike im going nuts here, i cant even goto dinner with friend girls that i know because i am afraid of puking from being so nervous. I just cant be relaxed anymore or calm and enjoy the situation when i should be. I am not an ugly guy and i have oportunities with girls all the time. I do infact go out with them and its funny though because i would rather goto the movies or to starbucks with them , than to a dinner or to a club or bar with them. I dunno i start to get nervous in those situations.

Help me out please.....this has recently only gotten worse these past 3 years, i now have to lie to my doctor about stress at work in order to score me some ativan/lorazepam that completely shuts down my nervous system and i feel no nervousness or anxieties once i take that. but i cant go on taking such a pill , i dont want to get addicted and rely on that.


heres the summary; i get nervous when i get asked to goto a bar / club / house party and especially dinner on a date. I only get nervous, however its to the extreme that i have to puke the stomach acid build up. Sometimes i can overcome the nervousness after i puke because i feel somewhat a natural high after i get all that stuff out. Most of the time i cannot cope with the nervousness and i make excuses to avoid those settings. I hang out with girls and go out on dates only to the movies and to small areas like starbucks and other small social places like bowling or mini golf lol its weird i just get really nervous going to a club / bar/ house party or dinner date.

Help me out people what is wrong with me?

 

[DaaaBulls]

I'm not really sure what brought on the anxiety since your said you always had friends and such. I would think that maybe it has something to do with genetics. I use to have friends too and remembering back I use to get nervous around girls and large groups in high school, when I really shouldn't have been. My Dad also has the same thing so I'm thinking that once you turn a certain age genes just start to kick into overdrive and these things develope. I wouldn't count out your fathers death as something that contributed. Maybe it consumed your thoughts all of the time, which is very understandable and this led to being less spontanious and social? Keep searching.

 

[in-search]

Thanks for your input, i honestly believe i can come out of this. I think i just need to change my lifestyle and be more social and attempt to hang out more with friends. Its just hard sometimes because i start to have negative thoughts about being nervous in social areas that i will puke. Because of those triggered thoughts when i try to go out i do end up getting nervous to the point where i have to puke. thats just a fear i have in some social areas. I just cant handle it when i get overly nervous and then i puke. ugghhh

 

[Jay Cataldo]

Personally, I do not believe that social anxiety is caused by genetics but rather that it is a learned response to a perceived threat. When your brain interprets a situation as frightening, it will give you a fight or flight response just like if you were attacked by a wild animal. This is a natural bodily process.

So what to do about it? I think there is more involved than just pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Systematic desensitization works, but it can be brutally painful in some cases. I have had tremendous success using a technique called EFT, and I use it extensively in my practice. In-Search, you could also check out the book "Focusing" by Gendlin which has also helped me a lot.

The bottom line is that you need to explore why your brain perceives these situations as threats to your well-being and work on resolving the underlying emotional issues. Hope this helped.

 

[Ehsan]

Personally, I do not believe that social anxiety is caused by genetics but rather that it is a learned response to a perceived threat. When your brain interprets a situation as frightening, it will give you a fight or flight response just like if you were attacked by a wild animal. This is a natural bodily process.

sometimes i'm pretty sure that there is something wrong with my genetics. at least genetics predispose one to fall into sp when encounters with environmental stresses while others manage it.

 

[Jay Cataldo]

Hi Ehsan,

I agree with you that genetics may influence the SA and make it worse it some cases, but since that hasn't been proven I personally find it to be a limiting belief that serves no useful purpose.

I could have allowed myself to think the same thing... "it's my genetics... there's nothing I can do" which would have prevented, or seriously limited my progress. But because I firmly believed that I would find out how to defeat my SA, I was able to eventually achieve this goal.

So in a nutshell, I find that if you eliminate all possible excuses and place all responsibility on yourself to overcome SA, you will be more likely to succeed.

 

[Ehsan]

Hi Ehsan,

I agree with you that genetics may influence the SA and make it worse it some cases, but since that hasn't been proven I personally find it to be a limiting belief that serves no useful purpose.

I could have allowed myself to think the same thing... "it's my genetics... there's nothing I can do" which would have prevented, or seriously limited my progress. But because I firmly believed that I would find out how to defeat my SA, I was able to eventually achieve this goal.

So in a nutshell, I find that if you eliminate all possible excuses and place all responsibility on yourself to overcome SA, you will be more likely to succeed.

Ok, I see what you're saying.
you're right, it's better not to think about genetics coz there isn't anyway to change it.

 

[Jay Cataldo]

You got it.

I'm a firm believer in the power of beliefs and I think it's vitally important to eliminate limiting beliefs as quickly as possible.

I have a free report up on my site about belief systems and how you can modify them, but since I don't want to spam the board, you'll have to shoot me a pm if you would like the link.

Hope my comments were able to help.

 

[Kamen]

Hello and welcome here!

First of all, I'd recommend to avoid asking non-professionals for diagnosis over the Internet. Even medical professionals avoid online diagnosis. Nobody here is qualified to put you an official diagnosis, except for those who have a degree in psychiatry or psychology, if any.

Genetics probably play some role in the personality of a person thus affecting predisposition, but it is only a tiny piece of the whole picture. Lifestyle and environmental factors are more important.

Your problem sounds a lot like social phobia to me. You've mentioned some key factors that contribute to forming this behavior and thinking and can often be found in such cases - bad early experiences such as school problems, being outsider, etc. Emotional traumas can unlock these problems and lead to depression which can in turn lead to anxiety (or vice versa) - these two are close friends and tend to go hand in hand.

 

[hedgemaster1]

I'd explain to your friends how you feel, and look to them for a support netwok. Don't lie it only compounds your actions and how you are behaving around them. I persoanlly feel you are affraid of social rejection. But by not a least involving yourself with others you begin to isolate yourself, which only makes it all worse in the long run. Take small steps, stay on your meds, and keep moving foreward toward small goals...good luck