My grandpa died.

Elenwen

Elenwen

1
I really don't like making new threads--I prefer to just respond to other people, but I feel the need to write this out.

Apparently my grandpa died last night. It was expected, I don't remember if I wrote about it here or not but he just recently got diagnosed with lung cancer and the doctors said he wouldn't live long (obviously they were right, heh). Anyway, I didn't really feel much when I got the news that he had lung cancer. I mean, obviously I felt bad for my mom and my grandma and him, but it didn't really affect me too much that he was sick. I haven't seen him in over fifteen years. The main thing I remember about him is chain-smoking. And his farts, lol. Lord could he fart.

Anyway, I logged onto Myspace and didn't have any messages or anything, so I was just about to log off when I caught sight of a bunch of status updates from my family saying that he died. So I check my email to see if maybe they emailed me instead of messaged, but nope, nothing there either. So I found out that my grandpa died via Myspace STATUS updates. Not even a message! I mean, they could have at least taken the time to let me know personally, instead of the way any acquaintance finds out. :/ I don't have a phone, so they couldn't have called, but not even a message. Goodness, the fact that that's how I found out upsets me more than the fact that he's dead!

Speaking of feelings, I really don't CARE that he's dead. All my family seem so devastated, but I just don't care. I'm dreading the next time I speak to my sister or mom, because I know that that's all they'll want to talk about, and I don't know what to say. I don't want to pretend to be sad about it when I'm not. But I don't want to come across as completely insensitive, though I'm sure I seem insensitive enough after logging on, seeing the updates, and not changing mine to something like "My grandpa died, please pray for my family." I would feel false if I did that. I don't want people to think that I'm all torn up over this when I'm not, but at the same time I don't want them to think I'm completely heartless for NOT feeling sad.

I don't even know what I want out of this post. :/ Please pray for my family ;P (couldn't resist, haha)
 
N

Nack

Banned
I don't know about you, but I don't think i can bear the lost of my grand parents; they're the best.... death is inevitable.
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
That does seem eh, I'd like to say maybe in all the drama of what happened they might have forgot. I'm sure you'll get a call or something soon?

As for your feelings, it's alright to not feel that way. Sometimes we handle things in our own way, others can see it as they like but you'll know what's true and that's all that matter right now. Who knows, it might came up later and you'll have a good cry or it might not. Doesn't say anything bad about your character. I am sorry for your family's loss though and hopefully you all can band together to help each other through it.

My grandma is going in for spinal surgery on the day of my birthday...they made her sign a living will because it's a risky procedure. She even told me that she wants me to go out and have fun and not worry about her. Although I've been with her since I was seven..if anything were to happen to her I'm not sure what I'd do. Get in bed, go to sleep and hopefully never wake up honestly.
 
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Elenwen

Elenwen

1
But if they had the thought to update their status surely they would have thought of writing me, especially as I'm the #1 friend on most of them (as I live so far away and Myspace is the only way we talk, I swear I'm not bragging though Lord knows why I'd brag about being #1 on my FAMILY'S myspace :rolleyes:). I don't know, it just feels like I'm an afterthought to that side of the family. Which I guess makes sense, I definitely relate more to my dad's side of the family.

I hope your grandma comes out okay. They made me make a living will in 2008 and it freaked all of us out even though we had the doctors' reassurances that it was just a precaution.
 
206Raider

206Raider

Well-known member
Sorry to hear he died even if your not feeling completely bad about it yet. If you do you do if you don't you don't. My grandpa was very close to me and he died a couple years ago. I did miss him and still do and was upset but I never shed a tear either. I think about it sometimes but I just never cried but that doesn't mean I never cared about him. Sorry to hear your family do that to you like that though, somebody should have been considerate enough to tell you somehow.
 
K

Krista

Well-known member
Elenwen said:
But if they had the thought to update their status surely they would have thought of writing me, especially as I'm the #1 friend on most of them (as I live so far away and Myspace is the only way we talk, I swear I'm not bragging though Lord knows why I'd brag about being #1 on my FAMILY'S myspace :rolleyes:). I don't know, it just feels like I'm an afterthought to that side of the family. Which I guess makes sense, I definitely relate more to my dad's side of the family.

I hope your grandma comes out okay. They made me make a living will in 2008 and it freaked all of us out even though we had the doctors' reassurances that it was just a precaution.
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I see. Maybe being so far away they don't think about you right off the bat to tell, which is rude on their parts, yes. If it is something that bothers you, you could tell them "It would have been nice to have gotten a message, maybe you could keep me informed better if something happens like this again?", which hopefully it won't.

And thank you :) She's a trooper, I'm confident she'll make it out of this quite well, like you did.
 
C

chained

1
it's ok.. my grandma was a bitch, I didn;t really care wen she died.. she once stuck a slipper up my mouth:p
but it';s normal if u didn't see him much to feel that way :)
 
Elenwen

Elenwen

1
Brokenx said:
Sorry for your loss.
Is there a reason you don't feel upset over his death??
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I think it's because I'm so far removed from the situation, and it doesn't really affect my day-to-day life. I haven't seen him in years, so the fact that he's dead just means that I'm NOT going to see him again. Since I was kind of afraid of seeing that side of the family again (because of the social anxiety, I assume), I actually feel more relieved than sad.

Thanks for all the replies, everyone.
 
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