my anti social tendencies are affecting my job.

burdeninyourhands

burdeninyourhands

Active member
I work at a French restaurant as a Barista. I see couples come in and hold hands over latte s and I get so curious as to how they are able to make their relationship work. I am perpetually unable to keep a boyfriend due to my looks which I have came to terms with however my lack of a personal relationship has made me bitter and morose. I don't want to live anymore, I don't have any interest in dealing with theses rich snobs in Manhattan. I hate making eye contact so working the front is hell. I have accepted the fact that I am going to die alone I just want the day to come quicker. I hate looking or being around people nothing makes me happy anymore and I don't want to leave my house. All of my close family is already dead and I am 24 years old. I never had a Valentine. I can expect to spend the holidays alone. I don't know how to control myself at work I go in the bathroom and cry on my lunch break. I know this is pathetic, I don't want to loose my job because.I'm good at it and the money is good but I can't stand being around peopl
 
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maiato

maiato

Banned
Read your post twice. And seems easy to read 3 things: U don't have a easy life (close famiy dead), u're depressed (no will to live)...and u're a very strong person! Life is not easy to no one. But if u don't have family to support u, to make your life more sense, and have SP problems and depressed than u live in hell!

I'm sure that if u look back in your life u will find moments that u enjoy living, that u made lovely plans for u, that u feel with energy and strength to fight for....but u don't have it anymore......PLEASE PLEASE look for help! Don't make anything stupid! Find someone near u, that u can talk about everything you're going trough....and look for a doctor, there exist for some reason! Don't be shame, take care of your health, that's the most important thing!

Really really hope u get better fast...just think that nothing stays the same for ever!
 
Helmaninquiel

Helmaninquiel

Well-known member
Because of your looks.. You are
pretty, inside and out. >.<
I'm serious in your display picture
you look pretty.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I think you really need some therapy and a change of scenery.
It's going to be hard either way, especially since you're alone but if you don't do something to help yourself- you will only spiral deeper into depression.

I am quite worried for you. :(
 
Helmaninquiel

Helmaninquiel

Well-known member
WeirdyMcGee said:
I think you really need some therapy and a change of scenery.
It's going to be hard either way, especially since you're alone but if you don't do something to help yourself- you will only spiral deeper into depression.

I am quite worried for you. :(
Click to expand...

Yeah I completely agree with
this. I'm actually really worried
for you too. It sounds like to
me that it's all blood, sweat
and tears for you and no relief
or Joy in your life.. that's not
healthy. You need to change
your ways and meet the right
kind of people.
 
L

Lilly789

Well-known member
you mean unsocial or asocial (which means not wanting to hang out with people) not antisocial (which means you actively do things against society, like vandalise, steal, fight etc).

It doesn't sound like you have social anxiety as such. It sounds like you are terribly depressed.

At this point, you need to talk to someone, anyone, AND go and see a doctor. Talking by itself will not fix the level of depression you seem to have, you may need to go on antidepressants for a period to level out the chemicals in your brain that are currently depleted (when your'e sad, chemicals in your brain become depleted, which is normal part of sadness. When you're sad for an extended amount of time, the brain is unable to build these chemicals back up to normal happy levels, hence depression. Antidepressants help the brain build the chemicals back up, generally with zero side affects).

The upside to how you feel is that it can be completely fixed. Find a local hotline for depression and call them and ask for some type of referral to a doctor in your area.

The longer you leave it, the harder and longer it will take to fix when you finally do get some help. Don't let something like depression rule your life, especially when its quite treatable.
 
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