More Conversation Problems

[NewtoThis]

Has anyone been in a work or school environment where you're sitting next to a group of people who you think you'd get along with well but you can't seem to talk to them?
Well I guess that's kinda the nature of this whole social phobia thing but often I find myself next to people having really interesting conversations that I know a lot about (TV shows, games and whatnot) but even if we have a subject in common I can't really talk much about it. It's like:
"Oh you like that show too!? I love that show."
And that's it! I can't really continue past that, and the conversation moves on without me...

Just seeing how rampant that problem is for others.

 

[Ryguy2598]

Yeah, I know what you mean......I went through all of high school, and now carrying over into college, like that. There will be people talking in class and I have things I can say in my mind....but for my lack of confidence I usually don't say them.....and I want to so badly, but the hesitation gets to me. It's something I will overcome, just like this whole SA thing, with time and effort. For now, I'm taking baby steps. =P

 

[leave_me_alone]

Familiar feeling...

 

[DeadCities]

The problem for me is that I have all these great things to say in my head, but the minute I jump into a convo I look like an idiot because I get my words jumbled up and all that jazz. I can talk to friends and family just fine, so it's incredibly frustrating when I can't do it. This also happens when I try to answer something during class.

 

[Alistair]

I think this is more common even for "normal" people, for it's all about approach, and timing. Granted some of us aren't very gifted naturally for conversation so we think all these possible solutions, outcomes, and all of that happy go lucky jazz, even "our" timing can be off compared to others.

While I know it's hard (I've been there too!) sometimes it's just best to bite the bullet, and go with the flow. Cause if they aren't going to like you then, and now, the odds are no one is going to warm up to you later, either (Perception is such a cruel fate!). Or force yourself into a more comfortable timing that you know you can pull off without a hitch.

I'm hoping that made sense! Ha!

 

[NewtoThis]

I think this is more common even for "normal" people, for it's all about approach, and timing. Granted some of us aren't very gifted naturally for conversation so we think all these possible solutions, outcomes, and all of that happy go lucky jazz, even "our" timing can be off compared to others.

While I know it's hard (I've been there too!) sometimes it's just best to bite the bullet, and go with the flow. Cause if they aren't going to like you then, and now, the odds are no one is going to warm up to you later, either (Perception is such a cruel fate!). Or force yourself into a more comfortable timing that you know you can pull off without a hitch.

I'm hoping that made sense! Ha!

For the most part, that did! I'm not great at timing, so I guess I've got to spit it out and hope for the best.

Even if I do stumble a little, it'll be better than standing still.

 

[Lonelykitsune]

This is my problem right now.I was with this group for something in school last year,and I liked everything they liked and even had the same sarky sort of manner and everything.Liked the same books,same TV shows,same sense of humour and one even liked Emilie Autumn! And I totally wasted the chance to be friends by saying nothing and now their not in the same class Though some still like my facebook things.

Nothing worse than a missed oppurtunity .

 

[SPV]

Has anyone been in a work or school environment where you're sitting next to a group of people who you think you'd get along with well but you can't seem to talk to them?
Well I guess that's kinda the nature of this whole social phobia thing but often I find myself next to people having really interesting conversations that I know a lot about (TV shows, games and whatnot) but even if we have a subject in common I can't really talk much about it. It's like:
"Oh you like that show too!? I love that show."
And that's it! I can't really continue past that, and the conversation moves on without me...

Just seeing how rampant that problem is for others.

I can totally relate. I once was around a group who I thought I had so much in common with but I couldn't let myself out there thanks to my phobia. It's frustrating especially when you know this group are a bit of a rarity and you watch yourself pass up an opportunity to be friends with them. It's sad. Also as you said, even if you talk about things you like the conversation still wont last long. God, I feel like an idiot because I remember talking to this guy who I knew if it weren't for my phobia I would've clicked with so well but apparently I couldn't hold the conversation for more than 5 minutes, which in turn it more than likely gave him the impression that I wasn't interested in what we were talking about. That left me feeling blue afterwards knowing that that guy thinks that he and I are not in the same wavelength but the fact is we are. Before that, I've always thought that Social Phobia had something to do with the fact that I couldn't relate to people, that I couldn't find anything in common to discuss with them, but obviously it isn't the case at all. It's bad enough I can't talk to people in general, but to the people I can relate to as well? This sucks.

 

[NewtoThis]

It's bad enough I can't talk to people in general, but to the people I can relate to as well? This sucks.

Absolutely, I'm trying to find ways to keep from killing conversations. So far just saying anything that randomly comes to mind whenever silence starts creeping seems to...work. It's limited success.

 

[Why]

happens to me all the time!

i overhear something, i have somthin to say but i think

"what if i interrupt"

"what if i sttuter"

"what if it come sout awkward?"

by the time i race through these terible thoughts, its way 2 late to join in and once again im the cold disinterested introvert in class

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I have the same problem, I usually only have a few stock answers when speaking to people. After that I normally clam up very fast and just start smiling and nodding my head a lot. Then I laugh and walk away kind of abruptly.