Mind goes blank

wylde_monkey

wylde_monkey

Member
Hi i'm new here so not sure if this is the right section... but anyway.

When I meet new people I can't seem to think of anything to say, my mind goes blank and I seem disinterested. Then afterwards I think back to the conversation and the things I could have said come flowing into my head lol. Anyway to help this?

Also say I go out to a gig and there's a female there I want to talk to I have no idea what to say or how to get a random conversation started. So I don't and it fustrates me as I have limited oportunities to meet new people...
Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks.
 
Tripolar

Tripolar

Well-known member
Welcome. I wish I had advice for you but I'm afraid I suffer from the same problem as I expect many here do as well. Best of luck.
 
caringsoul

caringsoul

Banned
i had the same problem just yesterday, i dont know i was so nervous but yet i wanted to talk about my idea. basically my maneger he complimented about my idea. and then i just sat there for some reason and i started to talk about it more.. and he was listening and talking and then i was mumbling more and more and i didnt made sense, i sounded incoherent. I wasnt really listening properly to what he was saying, i was just thinking why am i still here, why am i doing this.. people was looking at me, bcos its quite new. its not the usual me, and that made me more tense and then i ended it by walkin and talkin away.

it has happened many times, people seem to think i am a jokey type of person always expect me to come up with a comeback. i mostly flop at it all. but they still do it again..
like yesterday someone saw i was making beans and said, oh english breakfast hey, wheres the bacon, egg and toast? ... and i said.. something embarrasing.

i think practice certain phrases helps, but when im nervous, i forget about it all, and i mostly can think of the most simplest vocabulary out there. like okay, yes, no. when i could had said something else.

erm... a tip i would give is to relax. if i can talk better online its bcos im relax, so i just have to be relax in person.
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Hi & Welcome!

If it's at a gig chances are it's too loud for any proper conversation anyway... You can ask 'Wanna dance?' especially if other people are dancing.. if she says no she either doesn't like you that much or doesn't like the music or doesn't dance or her foot hurts lol... And even if she does dance with you maybe she just likes dancing and/or that particular song.. (I'm saying that so there would possibly be less pressure) So it doesn't necessarily need to mean anything either.. It's just a possible ice breaker..

You can also say things like 'Come here often?' or something related to the band/gig or the venue.. Just casual things, from observing the environment... or ask her 'Wanna beer/or insert drink of choice or random general name for beverage?' :) (that may depend on circumstance too, what other people or she and her mates may be drinking etc) It may not be interpreted well by some women, some may be quite okay with it, know if she has a drink with you it doesn't necessarily mean anything yet either..

There are whole books written on how to approach women/girls in different venues, so you can do some research... Usually 'silly lines' don't work and it's better to just adapt to the context a bit..
It also depends what kind of a girl she is, does she like you or looks at other guys etc.

It's usually easier to talk to friends or friends of friends... so maybe work on networking or becoming friends with people who know cute girls you might be interested in etc.

Just approaching random strangers is quite difficult for most people.. So maybe think about joining a club or organisation where you could meet cute women/girls?? Maybe volunteer etc. It has to be something you're really interested in and believe in, so you have natural causes for conversation anyway!! Good luck!! :)
 
Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
you got to study up on things to talk about before you go out like what going on with this weather and are there any new deals anything of interest.
 
Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
I get this too and it bugs me like crazy. your mind goes blink and I start a conversation and run out of thing to say after only saying a few thing and then I panic. not knowing what to say I thank cause most of my SA.
 
wylde_monkey

wylde_monkey

Member
Yeah exactly not knowing what to say doesn't help me. I'm not shy around mates and something funny or witty to say it's just when meeting new people, responses come to me hours after the conversation sadly lol.

I just can't think of how to initiate a conversation and keep a new person i'm meeting entertained.
 
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