confident?
Member
why is it that even when I am amongst other outcasts I still feel like an outcast
meant to be alone?
- Thread starter confident?
- Start date
JamesSmith
Well-known member
I feel this way too. It's because we often struggle to feel connected to people no matter who they are.
uhmm_doh
Member
trust me, i know what you mean. my SA is so frikin irrational that i'm afraid of being judged in a place where i'm sure most are incredibly kind people. I guess i don't like the thought of having 'pity' friends either. Sometimes i feel like i'd be happier, or see an improvement with SA, if i could socialize over here.
there is a poll on this topic on the right-hand-side of the homepage which is quite relevant to your thread. infact there are some extremely valuable comments on it too. just keep at it, keep posting even if it's nonsense (or little sense), increase your visibility and you'll start to feel like you've fit in a little better.
i can't claim to have done that, but i think that should work. i'm trying myself.
there is a poll on this topic on the right-hand-side of the homepage which is quite relevant to your thread. infact there are some extremely valuable comments on it too. just keep at it, keep posting even if it's nonsense (or little sense), increase your visibility and you'll start to feel like you've fit in a little better.
i can't claim to have done that, but i think that should work. i'm trying myself.
hey guys, many or most people (me too! 
) felt like an 'outsider' when they came to this place too.. when in fact you are just 'new'.. and unique... and it takes a while for people to get to know you...
if you stick around and make an effort to get to know people and for people to get to know you (both in the more serious and the sillier FUN threads), you can make some friends here.. or elsewhere!!
I don't think anyone is 'meant to be alone' - we are humans, social beings... Some people do prefer more space, but if you wish for human contact, it's just a matter of looking in the right places and learning more about effective communication etc. You can learn from books, articles, websites, films... or observing other people...
For example, if you are very intelligent (like many people on this site are) you may be bored in 'superficial' conversations.. And you may connect better with other intelligent more in-depth people.. So you just need to FIND the people with similar interests and - whoa! you find your tribe...
Some people are interested in things their near environment isn't interested in - so maybe some other people on other continent/s can be your 'tribe'!
Do you think Picasso, da Vinci and some other great people were miserable about being 'different'? Maybe sometimes, but they were also PROUD to be unique!! And we still admire their uniqueness years later!!
Wouldn't it be boring if all people would be THE SAME? It's important to embrace your uniqueness and you may soon find other people genuinely like you too..
It's not 'pity friends' - people here connect because they have something in common or admire something someone else said etc.
) felt like an 'outsider' when they came to this place too.. when in fact you are just 'new'.. and unique... and it takes a while for people to get to know you... if you stick around and make an effort to get to know people and for people to get to know you (both in the more serious and the sillier FUN threads), you can make some friends here.. or elsewhere!!
I don't think anyone is 'meant to be alone' - we are humans, social beings... Some people do prefer more space, but if you wish for human contact, it's just a matter of looking in the right places and learning more about effective communication etc. You can learn from books, articles, websites, films... or observing other people...
For example, if you are very intelligent (like many people on this site are) you may be bored in 'superficial' conversations.. And you may connect better with other intelligent more in-depth people.. So you just need to FIND the people with similar interests and - whoa! you find your tribe...
Some people are interested in things their near environment isn't interested in - so maybe some other people on other continent/s can be your 'tribe'!
Do you think Picasso, da Vinci and some other great people were miserable about being 'different'? Maybe sometimes, but they were also PROUD to be unique!! And we still admire their uniqueness years later!!
Wouldn't it be boring if all people would be THE SAME? It's important to embrace your uniqueness and you may soon find other people genuinely like you too..
It's not 'pity friends' - people here connect because they have something in common or admire something someone else said etc.
uhmm_doh
Member
Hehe, thanks Feathers. i find it a bit funny that someone replied on this thread after me!! I almost feel like I'm the killer of any conversation on this forum. Half of my 8 posts are probably the last ones on a thread.
SA affects my online interactions in a very similar way to real social situations. In real life, I make a good effort to be interactive for the first couple of days, and then I just give up and go away in hiding. I remember trying to smile and try and engage in conversation with peers in the first few days of school, then college, and then at work. But every time I feel like I'm not fitting in, not making any friends, and I get into a shell. And once I get into a shell, it's almost impossible to get out of.
I feel like I'm in that shell on this forum. And if I can get out of that, I believe it may help me a long way in 'real' life too. The good thing about this place is I have unlimited tries. If I feel like too much of a loser, I can create a new ID and join again anytime. I'm sure I'll figure out how it's done eventually.
SA affects my online interactions in a very similar way to real social situations. In real life, I make a good effort to be interactive for the first couple of days, and then I just give up and go away in hiding. I remember trying to smile and try and engage in conversation with peers in the first few days of school, then college, and then at work. But every time I feel like I'm not fitting in, not making any friends, and I get into a shell. And once I get into a shell, it's almost impossible to get out of.
I feel like I'm in that shell on this forum. And if I can get out of that, I believe it may help me a long way in 'real' life too. The good thing about this place is I have unlimited tries. If I feel like too much of a loser, I can create a new ID and join again anytime. I'm sure I'll figure out how it's done eventually.
he he I think it's actually prohibited to have more than one account at this site...
Check the forum rules too..
Well, I was feeling pretty invisible at this forum at first too, and you know sometimes there is a big 'influx' of new people (especially before holidays, it's a bit more easygoing now) so at those times there are a lot of new threads posted, it can be difficult to keep track of all of them or answer even if it would be an interesting thread.. sometimes very old very interesting threads don't have many answers, and I think 'how come'? It's a big forum and if things are not 'highlighted', they can get 'lost'.. When you interact with people a bit in their threads and post on some other topics it really gets easier...
I am sometimes 'up' for small talk and hellos and sometimes 'disappear' a bit too.. Many people need space now and then.. It's good you are making an effort in real life, and go to college and work!!
It takes time to get to know people and make friends, so just give it time.. Maybe after that first week, some people are wondering, 'Oh why isn't he friendly with me anymore? Have I said something to upset him?'
You do know that shells create beautiful pearls, so just give people a chance to see you shine!!
PS I really like your username so I think it would be a shame to just create another account!!
Check the forum rules too..
Well, I was feeling pretty invisible at this forum at first too, and you know sometimes there is a big 'influx' of new people (especially before holidays, it's a bit more easygoing now) so at those times there are a lot of new threads posted, it can be difficult to keep track of all of them or answer even if it would be an interesting thread.. sometimes very old very interesting threads don't have many answers, and I think 'how come'? It's a big forum and if things are not 'highlighted', they can get 'lost'.. When you interact with people a bit in their threads and post on some other topics it really gets easier...
I am sometimes 'up' for small talk and hellos and sometimes 'disappear' a bit too.. Many people need space now and then.. It's good you are making an effort in real life, and go to college and work!!
It takes time to get to know people and make friends, so just give it time.. Maybe after that first week, some people are wondering, 'Oh why isn't he friendly with me anymore? Have I said something to upset him?'
You do know that shells create beautiful pearls, so just give people a chance to see you shine!!
PS I really like your username so I think it would be a shame to just create another account!!
Izolo
Member
I think it's normal for people with SA, I'm new and feel the same way too
but I'm kinda used to it so yeah : D
confident?
Member
im getting used to it to. people talking to you out of pity. or not talking to you at all.
Izolo
Member
It's not always out of pity.
For instance, I replied to ur thread because I could relate to you by what you said, you sound very similar to me : D
confident?
Member
well if you didnt reply thank you.....i guess
confident?
Member
sorry what i meant was if you didnt reply out of pity, thank you. i think i also suffer from severe case of stupidity.