Mean-spirited people

[AtTheGates]

I cant stand people like this. They're the absolute worst. I think its pretty much the WORST personality trait but it seems like its condoned and accepted amoung certain circles. I hate to see how poorly people will talk about/treat someone just for entertainment value. just for a few laughs. its disgusting. idk how someone can treat others like that without feeling like a total peice of sh!t..it doesnt even make sense to me..idk if they think it makes them appear tough or cool or funny. im not a some kind of do-gooder but I just hate to see someone genuinely get their feelings hurt (as opposed to just people picking on eachother in a benign way)....I hate how being too nice to people is seen as lame by certain types..I odnt even understand that because there's SOME people in the world (like me) who just WANT to be nice to people more than anything and make people laugh when I can..I like to give people positive vibes which is why I dont even talk to anyone when im in a bad mood because I dont want to project or send off harsh vibes....I once knew a person who said he likes when he can find just the right thing to say to someone to fvck up their whole day. I was like wtf? why would you WANT to do that? There's too many people like that in the world...not enough naturally kind-hearted people. I really do think hate is contagious and people spread it all the time without even a 2nd thought...They have a bad day and then just recycle all their hate onto someone else because thats the quickest way to get rid of it. I wish there was a way to catharsize hate in a safe manner..like if you could channel it all into a safe place where it would stay contained for eternity....anyway, this probably just sounds like some ridiculous hippy/treehugger nonsense but I was just thinking about it earlier today....I cant stand when people say they dont like people who are "too nice"...wtf..like its not COOL to be too nice?

btw im not saying iv NEVER been mean to anyone but im just saying its not natural for me to do that and I refrain from it at all costs even when it seems merited (like when someone fvcks me over.)

 

[chibiXphantom]

I hate being mean to people, and when I am, it just haunts me and I feel so guilty. It's sad that so many people are rude and enjoy putting others down. The best thing you can do is just be kind to others, stand up for those who are hurt, and refuse to be put down by others.

If hatred is contagious, kindness is just as much so. Maybe those people just need more kindness in their lives.

 

[MotherWolff]

I cant stand people like this. They're the absolute worst. I think its pretty much the WORST personality trait but it seems like its condoned and accepted amoung certain circles. I hate to see how poorly people will talk about/treat someone just for entertainment value. just for a few laughs. its disgusting. idk how someone can treat others like that without feeling like a total peice of sh!t..it doesnt even make sense to me..idk if they think it makes them appear tough or cool or funny. im not a some kind of do-gooder but I just hate to see someone genuinely get their feelings hurt (as opposed to just people picking on eachother in a benign way)....I hate how being too nice to people is seen as lame by certain types..I odnt even understand that because there's SOME people in the world (like me) who just WANT to be nice to people more than anything and make people laugh when I can..I like to give people positive vibes which is why I dont even talk to anyone when im in a bad mood because I dont want to project or send off harsh vibes....I once knew a person who said he likes when he can find just the right thing to say to someone to fvck up their whole day. I was like wtf? why would you WANT to do that? There's too many people like that in the world...not enough naturally kind-hearted people. I really do think hate is contagious and people spread it all the time without even a 2nd thought...They have a bad day and then just recycle all their hate onto someone else because thats the quickest way to get rid of it. I wish there was a way to catharsize hate in a safe manner..like if you could channel it all into a safe place where it would stay contained for eternity....anyway, this probably just sounds like some ridiculous hippy/treehugger nonsense but I was just thinking about it earlier today....I cant stand when people say they dont like people who are "too nice"...wtf..like its not COOL to be too nice?

btw im not saying iv NEVER been mean to anyone but im just saying its not natural for me to do that and I refrain from it at all costs even when it seems merited (like when someone fvcks me over.)

Ah, Gates, who hurt you like this? That upsets me too. For a while I also felt being nice was a sign of weakness, but not because I wanted to be cruel to people for my enjoyment. No.

Just seems like sometimes when I open up to people, I become vulnerable and susceptible to violence, scrutiny, and other sorts of harm done by those closest to you.

A sister(who I no longer truly feel is my "sister"), took advantage of me financially. She put me 5 grand in debt. I have no job, no work experience, and I am on disability. None of these things occurred to her because money changed her. Money truly is the root of all evil. More precisely, the love of money is the root of all evil.

Then I realized that when I shut down and hate the world, I begin to even hate myself and then feelings such as sadness, resentment, guilt, apathy, begin to flood my heart.

That is just no way to live. So now, I think of all people who are in need of prayer. I even pray for that sister of mine who betrayed my trust. I don't get on my knees. I have a mental conversation with The Almighty as I go about doing daily things. We are to pray without ceasing. So that is what I do.

Pray for these mean-spirited people, Gates. They will have to answer to God someday soon for their deeds of intentional disrespect.

 

[AtTheGates]

Ah, Gates, who hurt you like this? That upsets me too. For a while I also felt being nice was a sign of weakness, but not because I wanted to be cruel to people for my enjoyment. No.

Just seems like sometimes when I open up to people, I become vulnerable and susceptible to violence, scrutiny, and other sorts of harm done by those closest to you.

A sister(who I no longer truly feel is my "sister"), took advantage of me financially. She put me 5 grand in debt. I have no job, no work experience, and I am on disability. None of these things occurred to her because money changed her. Money truly is the root of all evil. More precisely, the love of money is the root of all evil.

Then I realized that when I shut down and hate the world, I begin to even hate myself and then feelings such as sadness, resentment, guilt, apathy, begin to flood my heart.

That is just no way to live. So now, I think of all people who are in need of prayer. I even pray for that sister of mine who betrayed my trust. I don't get on my knees. I have a mental conversation with The Almighty as I go about doing daily things. We are to pray without ceasing. So that is what I do.

Pray for these mean-spirited people, Gates. They will have to answer to God someday soon for their deeds of intentional disrespect.

a handful of people throughout my life have been like this...and iv also noticed it done to other people as well...The thing is, someone can screw you over and then forget about it the next day while the person that GOT screwed over keeps thinking about it for a LONG time afterwards....so in a sense, the other person wins because the fvcked up memory of what they did has basically taken up residence in your mind.....in the future im going to try to be thicker skinned and not be effected so much by people who shouldnt really matter anyway.

 

[Graeme1988]

a handful of people throughout my life have been like this...and iv also noticed it done to other people as well...The thing is, someone can screw you over and then forget about it the next day while the person that GOT screwed over keeps thinking about it for a LONG time afterwards....so in a sense, the other person wins because the fvcked up memory of what they did has basically taken up residence in your mind.....in the future im going to try to be thicker skinned and not be effected so much by people who shouldnt really matter anyway.

Ah know that feelin' aw too well... It's worse when tha person that's f**kin' wi' ya is a member o' yer family, though. At least, with a random stranger you can forget about it easily, because ye huv'nae got any personal or emotional connection.

 

[MotherWolff]

a handful of people throughout my life have been like this...and iv also noticed it done to other people as well...The thing is, someone can screw you over and then forget about it the next day while the person that GOT screwed over keeps thinking about it for a LONG time afterwards....so in a sense, the other person wins because the fvcked up memory of what they did has basically taken up residence in your mind.....in the future im going to try to be thicker skinned and not be effected so much by people who shouldnt really matter anyway.

Yes. That is one of our weaknesses. People with SA usually tend to have low self-esteem and let even the smallest things constantly run thru their minds like a rerun of SpongeBob.

That is why we would be better off to forgive and forget, than to resent and remember every vivid detail of the unfortunate event.

 

[Graeme1988]

Yes. That is one of our weaknesses. People with SA usually tend to have low self-esteem and let even the smallest things constantly run thru their minds like a rerun of SpongeBob.

That is why we would be better off to forgive and forget, than to resent and remember every vivid detail of the unfortunate event.

But what if the person who done you wrong refuses to take responsibility for their words / actions and instead of apologising, blames the person they've wronged, even though though they (the one on the receiving end of tha mean-spirited person's comments) have done nothing wrong. If that makes sense? What then?

 

[MotherWolff]

But what if the person who done you wrong refuses to take responsibility for their words / actions and instead of apologising, blames the person they've wronged, even though though they (the one on the receiving end of tha mean-spirited person's comments) have done nothing wrong. If that makes sense? What then?

Well, maybe I am far more tolerant than most people on here. I had to put up with so much bullshit all my life and even now, that I just don't let things like that get to me.

I figure if those people who hurt you can let things go, why can't you?

Why constantly remind yourself of past events that cannot ever be changed?

True forgiveness is when you forgive someone even if they don't ask for it and they don't think they did anything wrong.

When you hang on to the pain of the wrong they committed on you, then you will suffer, not them. They gonna be enjoyin they life while you lay in bed all day like some zombie wishin you would die.

You hurtin you doing that,not them.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, maybe I am far more tolerant than most people on here. I had to put up with so much bullshit all my life and even now, that I just don't let things like that get to me.

I figure if those people who hurt you can let things go, why can't you?

Why constantly remind yourself of past events that cannot ever be changed?

True forgiveness is when you forgive someone even if they don't ask for it and they don't think they did anything wrong.

When you hang on to the pain of the wrong they committed on you, then you will suffer, not them. They gonna be enjoyin they life while you lay in bed all day like some zombie wishin you would die.

You hurtin you doing that,not them.

Fair point...

 

[Deco]

I remember there was a time I was grumpy, very critical person, but people would only ask why I looked so serious or
what I was worried about.
No one insulted me, or bullied or anything like that. Even during fights before a break-up no woman, or a few arguments with friends no one would really insult me.
Idk, despite these characteristcis, most people respected me, a alot.
But when I got close to my 30s, people started being more aggressive, insulting sometimes for no reason. My friends too became brutally sarcastic with each other.
Serious, this is way beyond hormonal levels. Look at our society these days.
I think it also has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself, mostly your career, school or love life. Some can mask their troubles for a long time and not give a weird vibe. But others just can't, and people can see through it and may attack you, also because of their own frustrations in life. I also never forget that some are narcissists, others are just people that may be even more insecure than we are during these times.
I myself, attacked other people who had nothing against me when I was very frustrated
with my job. Something I regret and don't want to do again.
There are a lot of other subtle factors, that I've read about, like body language, spiritual stuff and even pheromones.
Idk, how much of these can make an actual difference. So I'm not going to digress too much on it. But I've seen people who can't accomplish almost anything in their careers,
keep arms crossed or look down all the time, can't stop complaining about life, play the victim frequently but still have a lot of friends, managed to marry people that are way above them in terms of looks or money. If "social selection" can be so ramdom sometimes, then I just won't be too hard to myself and focus on improving anything I can and only what really doesn't deny my true character.
I also see that we live in a society that is more disrespectful anyway. People these days subconscioulsy expect the "Honey Badger don't give a s***", attitude towards life
from anyone.
So being polite and more comprehensive may seem like an act of weakness to many. People may be judging others by how much insult and sarcasm they can take rather than more honorable factors.
Just cut ties with people who are no good to you, even family members if neeeded, don't talk about your troubles with everyone and focus on those who may be true friends.
If friendship for people who go through this frequently is more about quality rather than quantity. Then so be it. You don't need emotional vampires or narcissists anyway.

 

[MotherWolff]

I remember there was a time I was grumpy, very critical person, but people would only ask why I looked so serious or
what I was worried about.
No one insulted me, or bullied or anything like that. Even during fights before a break-up no woman, or a few arguments with friends no one would really insult me.
Idk, despite these characteristcis, most people respected me, a alot.
But when I got close to my 30s, people started being more aggressive, insulting sometimes for no reason. My friends too became brutally sarcastic with each other.
Serious, this is way beyond hormonal levels. Look at our society these days.
I think it also has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself, mostly your career, school or love life. Some can mask their troubles for a long time and not give a weird vibe. But others just can't, and people can see through it and may attack you, also because of their own frustrations in life. I also never forget that some are narcissists, others are just people that may be even more insecure than we are during these times.
I myself, attacked other people who had nothing against me when I was very frustrated
with my job. Something I regret and don't want to do again.
There are a lot of other subtle factors, that I've read about, like body language, spiritual stuff and even pheromones.
Idk, how much of these can make an actual difference. So I'm not going to digress too much on it. But I've seen people who can't accomplish almost anything in their careers,
keep arms crossed or look down all the time, can't stop complaining about life, play the victim frequently but still have a lot of friends, managed to marry people that are way above them in terms of looks or money. If "social selection" can be so ramdom sometimes, then I just won't be too hard to myself and focus on improving anything I can and only what really doesn't deny my true character.
I also see that we live in a society that is more disrespectful anyway. People these days subconscioulsy expect the "Honey Badger don't give a s***", attitude towards life
from anyone.
So being polite and more comprehensive may seem like an act of weakness to many. People may be judging others by how much insult and sarcasm they can take rather than more honorable factors.
Just cut ties with people who are no good to you, even family members if neeeded, don't talk about your troubles with everyone and focus on those who may be true friends.
If friendship for people who go through this frequently is more about quality rather than quantity. Then so be it. You don't need emotional vampires or narcissists anyway.

Awesome analysis on mean-spirited folks, Deco!:thumbup:

And yeah, its good for us to distance ourselves from people who just "leech" off of us to bring us down with them.

 

[Graeme1988]

I remember there was a time I was grumpy, very critical person, but people would only ask why I looked so serious or
what I was worried about.
No one insulted me, or bullied or anything like that. Even during fights before a break-up no woman, or a few arguments with friends no one would really insult me.
Idk, despite these characteristcis, most people respected me, a alot.
But when I got close to my 30s, people started being more aggressive, insulting sometimes for no reason. My friends too became brutally sarcastic with each other.
Serious, this is way beyond hormonal levels. Look at our society these days.
I think it also has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself, mostly your career, school or love life. Some can mask their troubles for a long time and not give a weird vibe. But others just can't, and people can see through it and may attack you, also because of their own frustrations in life. I also never forget that some are narcissists, others are just people that may be even more insecure than we are during these times.
I myself, attacked other people who had nothing against me when I was very frustrated
with my job. Something I regret and don't want to do again.
There are a lot of other subtle factors, that I've read about, like body language, spiritual stuff and even pheromones.
Idk, how much of these can make an actual difference. So I'm not going to digress too much on it. But I've seen people who can't accomplish almost anything in their careers,
keep arms crossed or look down all the time, can't stop complaining about life, play the victim frequently but still have a lot of friends, managed to marry people that are way above them in terms of looks or money. If "social selection" can be so ramdom sometimes, then I just won't be too hard to myself and focus on improving anything I can and only what really doesn't deny my true character.
I also see that we live in a society that is more disrespectful anyway. People these days subconscioulsy expect the "Honey Badger don't give a s***", attitude towards life
from anyone.
So being polite and more comprehensive may seem like an act of weakness to many. People may be judging others by how much insult and sarcasm they can take rather than more honorable factors.
Just cut ties with people who are no good to you, even family members if neeeded, don't talk about your troubles with everyone and focus on those who may be true friends.
If friendship for people who go through this frequently is more about quality rather than quantity. Then so be it. You don't need emotional vampires or narcissists anyway.

Ah think I need to do this wi' some o' ma family member as well. Even if I'm gonnae be made to feel guilty about doing so.

 

[MotherWolff]

Ah think I need to do this wi' some o' ma family member as well. Even if I'm gonnae be made to feel guilty about doing so.

But why would you feel guilty for something awful they did to you?

Honestly, I used to feel guilty when I would try distancing myself from that treacherous sister of mine who took advantage of my crummy financial status.

Now, I am at a point where she just does not matter to me. I mean, I do love my sister. But she is such a money-hungry ***** that I feel safer staying away from her and her hypocritical family.

I don't know your situation with your folks, but perhaps you would do great without the ones who hurt you too.

 

[AtTheGates]

yeah the whole "brutally sarcastic" thing gets old REALLY quick....I really dont see any humor in just being a **** to someone....that generally just kills the vibe. if im joking around with people and having a few good laughs and someone starts being a snide douchebag it just gets on my nerves..

 

[MotherWolff]

yeah the whole "brutally sarcastic" thing gets old REALLY quick....I really dont see any humor in just being a **** to someone....that generally just kills the vibe. if im joking around with people and having a few good laughs and someone starts being a snide douchebag it just gets on my nerves..

Yeah, I know what you mean. <_<

 

[Kiwong]

Sometimes it is possible to expect too much of people, after all we are simple a species of dysfunctional primates.

 

[Graeme1988]

But why would you feel guilty for something awful they did to you?

Weakness, ah guess. No' feelin' confident enough to speak up fur masel'.

Ah guess it's a Scottish thing anaw - yer just expected to take every snide comment an' insult wi' good humour an' say nuthin' because yer a humourless twat by not laughin' along.

Honestly, I used to feel guilty when I would try distancing myself from that treacherous sister of mine who took advantage of my crummy financial status.

Now, I am at a point where she just does not matter to me. I mean, I do love my sister. But she is such a money-hungry ***** that I feel safer staying away from her and her hypocritical family.

I don't know your situation with your folks, but perhaps you would do great without the ones who hurt you too.

Ah'd certainly be a lot happier withoot them. Ah'm at that point as well where they dinnae matter to me. Ah mean ah love them, but would rather not be around them. Though, sadly and ironic, because o' ma physical disability, I'm constantly telt ah need ma family or that ah'll always need somebuddy to rely upon to care for me.