making friends

[LazyHermitCrab]

Lately i've been trying to make friends by going to college clubs and even a party. It's pretty much been a disaster. I have three friends. I went with one of my friends to a party, and hardly anyone talked to her, but when she got home she had four friendship requests on facebook :S and i had zero. I just don't get how some people can make friends with no effort at all....Maybe people observe more then i thought and can feel this uncomfortable energy i hold.. I should be happy to have a couple friends except when they get married they won't want to hangout anymore..

 

[vj288]

Friendship is about quality, not quantity. And I'm not sure if I count facebook "friends" as friends really.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I went with one of my friends to a party, and hardly anyone talked to her, but when she got home she had four friendship requests on facebook :S and i had zero. I just don't get how some people can make friends with no effort at all.

Umm, those aren't friends. They're just acquaintances. People just like to add random people they hardly know to facebook because they think it makes them look cool.

 

[sprode]

Yeah, facebook is a real fraud. You learn that when you get in an argument with an idiot whose best attack is how many facebook friends you've got.

Pay no heed to the pointless little number counts that fuel the egos of modern society.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

yea facebook is an online site but it's not just for making aquaintances. You can add potential friends and meet on the weekend or a free day. One would have been good just to hangout with someone new. It just seems like no one wanted to keep in contact with me, but they did with my friend.... ok done -.-

 

[honeydippedxo]

Making new friends is hard and time consuming, thats for sure. They key is going out and putting yourself out there. Showing up isn't enough. You have to make it a point to introduce yourself, talk and make connections.

Make sure you get the persons name, and repeat their name back to them many times while talking with them. Don't be afraid to ask for contact information. Ask for their number or give them yours. Ask if they have facebook ect.

Don't waste your time trying it with every person you meet though just people you click with and would like to become friends with. Don't go MIA after trying to befriend someone either.

Keep in contact, stop to say hello when seeing them around, invite them out some where with you and accept all invitations out with them. It's scary at first because you don't know if people are going to like you but in reality, SAD or no SAD we all want to have friends and be liked by others.

Chances are the other person would love to be your friend. If you get rejected, keep it moving and try not to take it personal.

Making friends through other friends is a great way to go about expanding your inner circle. As you probably have a lot in common with your friends friends. Joining clubs, classes and getting hobbies are a good idea too.

Do your thing and enjoy yourself and the right friends will come along. In the mean time enjoy and cherish the friends that you do have. Good luck.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Making new friends is hard and time consuming, thats for sure. They key is going out and putting yourself out there. Showing up isn't enough. You have to make it a point to introduce yourself, talk and make connections.

Make sure you get the persons name, and repeat their name back to them many times while talking with them. Don't be afraid to ask for contact information. Ask for their number or give them yours. Ask if they have facebook ect.

Don't waste your time trying it with every person you meet though just people you click with and would like to become friends with. Don't go MIA after trying to befriend someone either.

Keep in contact, stop to say hello when seeing them around, invite them out some where with you and accept all invitations out with them. It's scary at first because you don't know if people are going to like you but in reality, SAD or no SAD we all want to have friends and be liked by others.

Chances are the other person would love to be your friend. If you get rejected, keep it moving and try not to take it personal.

Making friends through other friends is a great way to go about expanding your inner circle. As you probably have a lot in common with your friends friends. Joining clubs, classes and getting hobbies are a good idea too.

Do your thing and enjoy yourself and the right friends will come along. In the mean time enjoy and cherish the friends that you do have. Good luck.

This is good advice but it's difficult to put self out there and say hi and act natural but yes..!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

It must have hurt when u see other putting on effort into socialisation, hell even not socializing and after that poeple that coem looking for them. Thse poeple have like a magnet or something.

But still I think body language plays a huge role here. Maybe your body language betrayed you. This language is observed mostly in the subconscious so its not easy to notice with naked eyes. We might like a person or not just judging on this body language, and still we cant tell why we like her consciously.

Think I made sense. Another thing has got to do with pheromones. But I'm not sure yet how much they influence human intereaction , goggle it if u dont know what they are.

Haven't heard of pheromones before? Mine must me screwed up though lol....

 

[JamesSmith]

A party? I've been to some parties before and let me tell you that they aren't exactly designed for people who have SAD. Honestly, the main reason I went to parties in the past was to try to get a girl there to sleep with me, and i've gone about 0 for 50 lifetime, maybe more than that. that 0 for 50 is parties that I wanted to get laid and never did. I've grown up a little from then, and now I'm more concerned with making friends and getting to know people than losing my virginity. What I'm trying to say is parties can be hell for a shy person. I just remember walking into some of these parties and shuddering when I saw all of the people. These groups of people drinking and laughing and loving life as they speak to each other. I would always go to a chair and sit down. I was always so scared. Some times I would sit there for 30 minutes and try to work up the courage to join a group and never would even get up and try. I had some really bad problems and still do. It finally got to a point where I decided I'd stop going for a while, maybe for good. I realized if i can't even connect with friends that I know, it's no wonder I can't connect with strangers. I'm going to have to be able to be comfortable amongst friends first before I go out and meet the rest of the world.

As for clubs, I've been to a couple. Those weren't any better. I sat on the sidelines by myself while my friends went around and socialized and danced. These are just my experiences, idk maybe other people know how to do these things, cuz I sure don't.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Well yea one party, even after drinking it was uncomfortable. I think strangers are easier to talk to because they don’t know who you are and don’t expect you to be a certain way, so for those moments you can make a new first impression. Oh and meant clubs like college clubs not dancing ones. Was invited to a club once, but not in about a year. You should be proud you were able to go. It just sucks that it's hard for us to enjoy these things that should be fun. The more you think about it, the harder it is. It’s like having a narrator describe the things around you but not really being there when you are. Hope this makes sense