lover doesn't get it

Falkor

Falkor

1
hello\
so i have a great lover
but she just said to me that her understanding has ecxeeded its limits.
i have it so severe that she won't try to show sympathy.
she says im limiting myself which is true and it wont get me further.
but she gets really angry and rages when i avoid places.
and she pushes me way too much.
but she got a point and i got a point.
but what can we do....

social anxiety ... pffff
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
What you can do is break up. She has to be understanding, but at the same time you can't hold on to that understanding and use it as an excuse to stagnate. Keep showing improvement, and maybe she'll settle down a bit. If she keeps being nasty about it, then she doesn't deserve that relationship.
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
Well, it's a two way thing, she must understand that if she gets into a relationship with you that this is something she is going to have to commit to in the long run. As your partner your battles are hers too. It doesn't make her a bad person if she can't, but it is going to make your relationship tumultuous to say the least! You both need to sit down and discuss this and be realistic about what future this relationship really has. I know it isn't easy, these things never are but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and move on. Hope it works out for you though whatever you decide to do.
 
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J

James_phobic

Member
Yeah, I think you need to insist on a "compromise" approach. She pushes you too hard, and you seem like you want to do something about your SA. If you can discuss finding a mid ground, where you take slow and steady steps, and she agrees to lower the bar a little bit, I think that's a workable arrangement.
 
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