Loner=no support (or very little support)

[AtTheGates]

Most people have a support system. (well idk about most but ALOT of people do) whether its simply just a group of friends to have a few beers with after a long week or a significant other to spend time with. something to look FORWARD to that makes all of life daily struggles seem WORTH the effort. I don't mean support like having someone to necessarily "lean on" I just mean people who understand you and actually CARE about your life...like if you get a new job then you're friends (i.e. support system) will be like "you got a new job! thats awesome! lets celebrate!" or if you get fired or have relationship problems and have someone to just give you a few positive words of encouragement....someone that CARES and offers basic support..nothing special, just basic support from a good friend(s)

but what about loners?...is their motivation effected by not having a support system?....if noone in your life cares how you're doing then where is the incentive to do WELL and strive for great things. you get a new job and have a long work week but have no friends to celebrate/spend the weekend with with so its like wtf....sometimes I wonder: is living for yourself ENOUGH?...or are there certain motivational aspects of having people to share your life with.

 

[medepressed]

Ahhh. Somehow I can relate. Its all true. I guess all loners feel and think the same. Sometimes, I feel what is the reason for living and all this daily struggle, when there is noone to share? :idontknow:

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

We are a social species and were never meant to be alone. Alone in our hunter/gatherer past meant certain death. I'm sure there are some anomalies but the majority of us are meant to have social support. I know I personally really, really hate being alone! I am not sure what incentive there is except for the fear of ending up on the streets if I don't make money. I am not sure life is worth living if you've no one to share it with, but here I am continuing to live so I guess that answers the question for me.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Your motivation can be to get a support system? I have a support system but on the other hand I'm alone a lot and don't feel connected to people that well when I'm with them. It happens sometimes but rarely I'm happy but I'm in a blah life phase now lol. Just write down what you want and then write some steps on how to get there?

 

[Argentum]

It certainly impacts motivation, and this is why I call bull on the claims that my anxiety, loneliness, or problems are caused by laziness, weakness, selfishness, entitlement, a lack of empathy, or any other victim-blaming "solutions".

Even though I have no one to take me out for a drink and comfort me when I fail, I still dutifully complete, polish, and submit my writing for strangers to judge and reject. Even though no one is impressed, I still pull apart double-tables in crowded coffee shops when I sit down to make two single-tables for newcomers. Even though no one holds me when I come home, cooks me dinner, or sends me holiday wishes, I still go out, shake for no reason when talking to people, and come home to read and listen to podcasts on socializing and anxiety desperate for a scrap of hope. Most normals can't or don't do that.

 

[AtTheGates]

It certainly impacts motivation, and this is why I call bull on the claims that my anxiety, loneliness, or problems are caused by laziness, weakness, selfishness, entitlement, a lack of empathy, or any other victim-blaming "solutions".

Even though I have no one to take me out for a drink and comfort me when I fail, I still dutifully complete, polish, and submit my writing for strangers to judge and reject. Even though no one is impressed, I still pull apart double-tables in crowded coffee shops when I sit down to make two single-tables for newcomers. Even though no one holds me when I come home, cooks me dinner, or sends me holiday wishes, I still go out, shake for no reason when talking to people, and come home to read and listen to podcasts on socializing and anxiety desperate for a scrap of hope. Most normals can't or don't do that.

true.its all MUCH harder without having support system...and i agree, most "normal" people could never cope with such a plight but they judge other people for it with little to no understanding of what its really like. I wonder how some of those people would feel if they ever come to know TRUE loneliness.

 

[Argentum]

true.its all MUCH harder without having support system...and i agree, most "normal" people could never cope with such a plight but they judge other people for it with little to no understanding of what its really like. I wonder how some of those people would feel if they ever come to know TRUE loneliness.

Let alone do it without their big, loving support networks. :idontknow:

I read a story on Reddit recently about an author who was looking up ways to buy cyanide to kill himself with after 60 rejections of his pitch to publishers... and he had a wife. Presumably a family. Presumably friends. As much as I sympathized with the pain of being so close to a dream and feeling like it might actually be beyond your grasp, I still wanted to laugh - that's how I feel about having a social life and friends to care about me. They can barely do what I do even with their advantage, and they want to kill themselves over novels.

 

[AtTheGates]

hmmmmm.....

 

[AlienGeranium]

When I think of a loner, I think of someone who chooses to be alone, presumably because they don't enjoy company or it brings them more unrest than support. Some of them are more hard around the edges and don't need much support, and others find it within themselves or things they love like books or hobbies or pets. For some people, the things they look forward to or that keeps them going just isn't other people.

Now, lonely people is something completely different. I don't think the fact of being alone causes loss of motivation, but the depression that may go with it most definitely could.

 

[Avatar]

Sometimes that person doesn't want it..