lonely

[boredguy]

I'm really lonely. I know that i have more fun and feel better when i force myself to go somewhere with people. For some reason though i always have an excuse to avoid hanging out with people. I know that i will feel worse after lying to my few friends and sitting at my house alone, but i cant stop doing it.

 

[CK23]

I have been sloenly since childhood... I wasnt always like this but even as a little kid though i was naughty and active i was still very emotional... and i was always picked on by other kids... i was skinny and i was always bullied and made fun of... I always kept to myself in a big house where i had many activites and i never involved myself with other kids... I had to shift to a new location when i was 15 and i went to a new school when i had no clue how to mix with people... The kids over there were rough bullies and i had three years of hell in high school...I remember once i had an assignment with another one of the bullies who was the one who picked on me the most... he was twice myself and used to slap me and shove me for fun... the other guys always luaghed ot add to the torture... I failed to do the assignment with him and he shoved me hard during free period... I was sent flying to the other end of the ground... My elbow was filled with blood and my back ached with pain... no one came to pick me up and i stuggled to get away... no teacher came to me, the principal was unavailable cos she was subjected to abuse herself and had gone crack under the strain... I've lost all my confidence but recently i met a really nice lady at my workplace... She's 3 years older than i am and she really cared for me... ive never felt so happy before but i have always been afraid to open up to her... cos i am socially inept and extremely scared around people... she's like a big sister to me, she always cares wheneveri need her but recently she hasnt talked much and i am getting nervous that i might have lost her too.. even though i get ot see her everday i cant talk to her cos of my sp... I have panic attacks cos of my loenliness.. it's really getting worse day by day... no one wants to befriend me and whenever i try to reach out i get the cold shoulder... I have been married to a distant cousin wit whom i failed to make any love spark since engagement... She has had an illness in childhood and she barely knows how to make conversation... i dread the feeling of having her move in... my parents are always breathing down my back making me do things i dont like and lecturing me... i cant confide in them cos they always said things to upset me... always compared me with the brighter students and scorned me cos of my average school grades...I feel like i'm doomed to be alone but i love my new friend, my big sister and i hope and pray i might have one friend thats worth the wait...

 

[CPA23]

Yes, there are most definitely times when I feel lonely.

All I do is go to work then come home and sit in my room by myself. It can get very lonely. I mean, I live with my parents, so I do things with them sometimes, but it still just doesn't feel the same as it would if I had friends my own age.

I've gone through high school feeling lonely with no friends, I've gone through college feeling lonely with no friends, and I am now at work feeling lonely with no friends.

Try as I might, I just can't seem to meet people and create friendships. Like, in college I went there with the mind set that I was going to put myself out there and make friends, and I really tried and went to meetings for clubs and organizations, and tried to seem friendly and smile at people in class, but none of it seemed to work for me.

I CAN TOTALLY RELATE WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAID!!!

 

[Victor]

I'm quite a loner too, and I can't make friends either in spite of my efforts. Sometimes I feel really depressed because of this and other times I just get along with my solitude without too much thought.
Even when I'm around people, I always feel like I'm there with but half of myself. I never feel like I'm enjoying the company like other guys seem to do. I can't wait to be home again, by myself. But when I'm alone, after some time, I long for company again. I'm never happy with any state. Everything bores me: people and solitude alike.

 

[r80sgirl]

I've had SAD for 12 years but ever since I graduated from college last December, I have been feeling very very lonely. This year so far, I don't think I've gone out more than 10 times because in college, I took a lot of night classes, so that kept me busy at night. Now, usually when I leave work, I mostly just go home and watch TV, DVDs, and go online.

When I was 14, I met a friend who was also a mentor to me. She moved away 5 years ago, and since then I haven't really made a big effort to go out and meet people. I do have quite a bit of friends, mostly former and current coworkers and my ex. I know they won't mind me contacting them, but like most people on here, I feel like I would be bothering them so I usually let them initiate contact.

I return to school in October, so I am going to try to begin therapy and treatment in the meantime, so once school starts, it will be easier for me to be around people and make friends.

 

[billy]

Well ever since i was 13 i dropped out of school due to sa. Ive kept the same single friend up to 17. Now ive only socialized with him and my family. Ive missed out on the most important years of my life. I literally have no experiences to tell nothing. all the highschool stories i have none. Recently ive tried hanging out with my friend friends many times at least 7. And everytime ive been dead quite, i get invited to hang with them less now its terible. I have no humor and no way to develop one. I feel im as boring as a wall. Everywhere i go i just feel terrible. Life is very lonely nowadays.I pretty much lock myself in my room and play wow.

 

[Leki]

I am more lonely when i'm not alone.

 

[TheWall]

Yeah, I definitely know how you feel. Just the boredom itself from staying home alone is enough to kill you.

 

[billy]

I feel its worst to be around people and still feel like your alone. i find being at home not to be too bad. but guess thats just me.

 

[dontbelikejake]

wow i feel excatly like all of you, in side every minute of the day, not a single friend , because im so boring.. life really blows right now, i cant take it anymore!!

 

[kuze]

Alone

I've been literally alone for 8 years now, I've had friends when I was younger, even had a few best friends. I grew up in trinidad but left america when I was 15, ever since then I've had no friends. I've been to 2 high schools and each time I was basically invisible except for the teasing, eventually I dropped out at age 17. Right after that I left home for a while and was homeless for 6 months, I felt like utter shit, my mom took me back in. As soon as she took me back I just locked myself inside and have never been back out since, everytime I go outside its an ordeal for me, I get so nervous around others. I've recently found a couple of my old friends from trinidad online and I'm ashamed to tell them the truth of my existence, last time they saw me I was a 'normal' person. Now I wake up everyday and stumble through the day doing nothing, feeling like nothing, ever so lonely. I can't believe how my life has become.

 

[Avoidance]

A few years ago I had an old friend come over to my house, I freaked out and couldn’t even answer the door, my friend stood there for a while walked around my house then left. There I was lonely as hell and I’m hiding from my friend, I couldn’t even open the door. I don’t know what has happened to me? I still regret that day to even today. I feel for you all, this is terrible.

 

[Graeme1988]

Re: Alone

I've been literally alone for 8 years now, I've had friends when I was younger, even had a few best friends. I grew up in trinidad but left america when I was 15, ever since then I've had no friends. I've been to 2 high schools and each time I was basically invisible except for the teasing, eventually I dropped out at age 17. Right after that I left home for a while and was homeless for 6 months, I felt like utter shit, my mom took me back in. As soon as she took me back I just locked myself inside and have never been back out since, everytime I go outside its an ordeal for me, I get so nervous around others. I've recently found a couple of my old friends from trinidad online and I'm ashamed to tell them the truth of my existence, last time they saw me I was a 'normal' person.

I dropped out of high school at age 17 as well, kuze. And I can relate to you locking yourself inside and not going outside becasuse that's been my life for the past 3 years now. I just sit in my bedroom doing nothing, except listening to my music, playing video games or going on the internet most days. The only time I'll go out is if I'm going to a music concert, mainly, or my sister usually takes me for a little trip in her car, if she's got time, depending on her work schedule.

Now I wake up everyday and stumble through the day doing nothing, feeling like nothing, ever so lonely. I can't believe how my life has become.

Most of us with Social Anxiety can relate to feeling like that, kuze, don't think you're only one who feels that way because you're not alone in that regard.

 

[xabbashiax]

I feel really lonely sometimes. It's like your sitting in doors whilst life is just passing you by. Even though I keep myself alone. I hate being alone and I hate having no one to talk to I would love to have a social life. I feel so trapped when I'm at home, and feel so bored almost like i'm going to explode. It's so painful being lonely

 

[shapeshifter]

Hi everyone! I an new here but wanted to just jump in...

I am soo lonely and I keep trying to change my life but its soo hard. It seems like one thing just leads to another and another. I havent made any close friends for years, I just have aquaintences that i think secretly feel sorry for me, and I can text a dozen diff people in hopes of making plans to go do something, but no one texts me back

I believe its b/c they all have closer friends and dont need someone around like me that is just too casual and elusive.

I am trying so hard to change my life around, one step being to get out more. but how do i get out more when i dont have real friends??

I finally left my mean selfish boyfriend, that i hung on to partially due to being lonely and fear of the outside world. Now what do I do? I dont wanna cave in!

Anyone else feel this cycle ?