Living with your parents
- Thread starter Richey
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jauggy
Well-known member
My parents are paying for it. Otherwise I would have to travel about 1.5 hours to uni. I was the one that asked them. I even told them that I would feel happier if I was independent and lived by myself. (I told them that I was unhappy living at home with them. They know how much I always avoid them. "They" refers to my Dad and stepmum)
My flatmates are strangers. At the moment I live with 1 flatmate but also has both his parents staying with him as well (so that makes 3 flatmates total). I'm mostly at uni though.
My flatmates are strangers. At the moment I live with 1 flatmate but also has both his parents staying with him as well (so that makes 3 flatmates total). I'm mostly at uni though.
IceLad
Well-known member
It's very frustrating and often depressing living with my parent. They are always so pessimistic about life, and even though I'm an adult, they criticize and try to correct me over anything I do. I often have to watch what I say otherwise it might cause offence to them. In fact, I've learned to completely bottle up my feelings because of it. I just want to scream at them that they're not helping me overcome SP in the slightest, in fact they're reinforcing it. It's feels as if I fighting a battle on 2 fronts- one against myself, and another against their attitudes and opinions. :twisted: :twisted:
I dream of the day where I have my own place, preferably on the coast.... 8) 8)
I dream of the day where I have my own place, preferably on the coast.... 8) 8)
scatmantom
Well-known member
living with parents is so Terrible, I never want to go back, But after uni i dont have any other options!
Meow
Well-known member
Argh all I can say is I HATED HATED HATED living with my parents, almost every part I can remember was just awful. It made me ill, I moved out to get married when I was 19 and i'm bloody glad I did.
If you have any way to get out and you're really unhappy then do it.
My psychiatrist said it was the best move I ever made.
If you have any way to get out and you're really unhappy then do it.
My psychiatrist said it was the best move I ever made.
I have a good relation with my parents today, especially with my dad, though not as much when I was a kid. But I also feel so sick of living with them sometimes. I think SP makes it worse because it forces me to be in the house a lot, if I were around all day it would be easier.
Sometimes on the weekends I can spend two days in a row without getting out, not out of anxiety but simply because I have nothing to do and nobody to meet, and I stay in my room all the time thinking I will become mad.
The problem is I can't move out until I have a job. I can't look for a real job until I complete my degree. I will not complete it very soon if I keep being lonely and depressed all the time, it is just not possible to concentrate and study hard when you are in this condition (I'm on an scientific subject, so it requires some fairly hard studying)
But I will manage sooner or later, if only I can remain mentally sane until that moment
Sometimes on the weekends I can spend two days in a row without getting out, not out of anxiety but simply because I have nothing to do and nobody to meet, and I stay in my room all the time thinking I will become mad.
The problem is I can't move out until I have a job. I can't look for a real job until I complete my degree. I will not complete it very soon if I keep being lonely and depressed all the time, it is just not possible to concentrate and study hard when you are in this condition (I'm on an scientific subject, so it requires some fairly hard studying)
But I will manage sooner or later, if only I can remain mentally sane until that moment
cutefluffykitten said:They were both really good and nice people but there was a lot of problems.....
I spent all my time in a room with my two kids and id have the toaster, kettle and baby stuff and i used to bath in the babytub sometimes if my dad was home
He had issues and stuff like I wasnt allowed butter, milk or sugar or teabags cause they were His
"You are always welcomed here my precious daughter...but if you touch my butter, I'LL KILL YOUR ASS! "
"sweet dreams."
the only probs I get with living at home is:
- Anything I think is a good idea is a bad idea.
- I was in the front garden the other day and they say to me watch it them kids might come over. I mean how good is that for my confidence? as if I should be scared of them.
- I sweat like crazy when some porn advert shows on tv when my mum is outside my room. since the channels I watch always show them.
- I can't work on my pornish site without constantly worrying my mum will come in and think i am watching porn when i am.
kinda stressfu;!
- Anything I think is a good idea is a bad idea.
- I was in the front garden the other day and they say to me watch it them kids might come over. I mean how good is that for my confidence? as if I should be scared of them.
- I sweat like crazy when some porn advert shows on tv when my mum is outside my room. since the channels I watch always show them.
- I can't work on my pornish site without constantly worrying my mum will come in and think i am watching porn when i am.
kinda stressfu;!
endless8
Member
I moved away from home when I turned 23 to another state and I must say that it was the most productive fun filled five years of my life. My social phobia was almost non-existent and there was a beam of confidence in my eyes most of the time. I met a beautiful gf, had steady income, and just felt great about myself.
I moved back last year to start a restaurant business alongside my parents and It got to be the worst decison of my life. Dont get me wrong, my parents loved me to death and would do anything in the world for me but since coming home i felt like Im no longer in control and I must act a certain way in front because I have this thought in my head that I must be a certain way. To make things worst my gf of four years broke off the relationship after being away from her for a year. My orginal plan was for her to join me after I get the ball rolling but she decided that moving wasnt a option for her and to make matters worst she linked up with her co-worker.
My life is now turned upside down becase I decided to move back. Lost my gf, lost a sizable amount of money, lost my confidence, lost my dream of settling down to start a family. im 28 now and it seems like the end of the world because of one bad decision. Depression has really taken over as I find myself constantly waking up in the middle of the night regretting the one decision I made a year ago. I feel inferior to others and my sa has returned like never before. I am no longer able to feel relaxed or at ease with my surrounding anymore. Any advice on taking back control would be very much appreciated.
I moved back last year to start a restaurant business alongside my parents and It got to be the worst decison of my life. Dont get me wrong, my parents loved me to death and would do anything in the world for me but since coming home i felt like Im no longer in control and I must act a certain way in front because I have this thought in my head that I must be a certain way. To make things worst my gf of four years broke off the relationship after being away from her for a year. My orginal plan was for her to join me after I get the ball rolling but she decided that moving wasnt a option for her and to make matters worst she linked up with her co-worker.
My life is now turned upside down becase I decided to move back. Lost my gf, lost a sizable amount of money, lost my confidence, lost my dream of settling down to start a family. im 28 now and it seems like the end of the world because of one bad decision. Depression has really taken over as I find myself constantly waking up in the middle of the night regretting the one decision I made a year ago. I feel inferior to others and my sa has returned like never before. I am no longer able to feel relaxed or at ease with my surrounding anymore. Any advice on taking back control would be very much appreciated.
Okay, I kinda feel like moving back in with my parents was the worst mistake I did in my life too!!
They drive me crazy!! Grr
At first after finishing Uni dad expressed a wish that 'at least one of us would come home' (he was afraid of being lonely or what??) and now sis and I are living at home and we all hate it - there are no good jobs back here, parents undermining our confidence or any remains of time management we might have left, they make us feel like 'teens' again grr!!
My mum has absolutely no skills for time management. She always has these impossible dreams of what can be accomplished in one day (or part of day, or an hour), like a zillion of things, and then has phones all the time and other distractions... And she expects us to mind-read and to be like full-time houskeepers (she's the lady of the house!!) and find a way to earn money alongside that (and marry well and give'em grandkids!) and the constant bickering and listening to them is totally counterproductive for ANY of that!! She worries a lot and does the 'martyr' thing grr... (Like she's the one to have to do all this work, although she's often mostly running around on charity errands etc. And if you don't wanna do it, don't do it - instead, she'd do it and then rub it in??!)
They're both retired and totally unpredictable, I don't know one day ahead what they'll be up to. Even if we agree on something, then maybe they don't have the necessary utensils to do that and do something else, which can collapse my plans entirely. I mean, I don't know how I can plan anything??
Besides, it's hot in the attic and the 'summer office' I had dowstairs for two years now is filled with random junk/charity things that mum said she'll sort 'any day now' - and she's been saying this for a few months now!! We said we'd sort some stuff together and now she's saying why I haven't done it yet??
We've been doing renovation and dad is already bored because it's almost finished!! I'm afraid to think what he'll think of now!! grr
She said we'd make 'peach juice' today and now the 'downstairs office' needs to be 'emptied' so that juice can be made!! When I say if there can be a place made for the computer too (which I've been asking for a month!), that's an 'unreasonable request' grr!!
I feel like all I do is run around after them and making sure they're not doing something I don't want them to do! Then she talks aloud and is angry if I talk back thinking she was talking to me?? huh??
Seriously, it seems like a 'no-win' situation and 'circle' of perpetuation: they drive me crazy, I give up on making money or ever having a life, they drive me more crazy >> I feel it's impossible to be able to ever make money and have a life etc...
I had some savings or jobs before and I really wish I had moved out then!! Now the savings are not so great and I don't really feel up for/capable of having a job/biz or doing things for paid money really... Grr. Not sure what to do. Guess I needed to have that rant. Yikes.
I know a successful entrepreneur who was living with parents, and she was 60+ and they were STILL driving her crazy!! Grr
They drive me crazy!! Grr
At first after finishing Uni dad expressed a wish that 'at least one of us would come home' (he was afraid of being lonely or what??) and now sis and I are living at home and we all hate it - there are no good jobs back here, parents undermining our confidence or any remains of time management we might have left, they make us feel like 'teens' again grr!!
My mum has absolutely no skills for time management. She always has these impossible dreams of what can be accomplished in one day (or part of day, or an hour), like a zillion of things, and then has phones all the time and other distractions... And she expects us to mind-read and to be like full-time houskeepers (she's the lady of the house!!) and find a way to earn money alongside that (and marry well and give'em grandkids!) and the constant bickering and listening to them is totally counterproductive for ANY of that!! She worries a lot and does the 'martyr' thing grr... (Like she's the one to have to do all this work, although she's often mostly running around on charity errands etc. And if you don't wanna do it, don't do it - instead, she'd do it and then rub it in??!)
They're both retired and totally unpredictable, I don't know one day ahead what they'll be up to. Even if we agree on something, then maybe they don't have the necessary utensils to do that and do something else, which can collapse my plans entirely. I mean, I don't know how I can plan anything??
Besides, it's hot in the attic and the 'summer office' I had dowstairs for two years now is filled with random junk/charity things that mum said she'll sort 'any day now' - and she's been saying this for a few months now!! We said we'd sort some stuff together and now she's saying why I haven't done it yet??
We've been doing renovation and dad is already bored because it's almost finished!! I'm afraid to think what he'll think of now!! grr
She said we'd make 'peach juice' today and now the 'downstairs office' needs to be 'emptied' so that juice can be made!! When I say if there can be a place made for the computer too (which I've been asking for a month!), that's an 'unreasonable request' grr!!
I feel like all I do is run around after them and making sure they're not doing something I don't want them to do! Then she talks aloud and is angry if I talk back thinking she was talking to me?? huh??
Seriously, it seems like a 'no-win' situation and 'circle' of perpetuation: they drive me crazy, I give up on making money or ever having a life, they drive me more crazy >> I feel it's impossible to be able to ever make money and have a life etc...
I had some savings or jobs before and I really wish I had moved out then!! Now the savings are not so great and I don't really feel up for/capable of having a job/biz or doing things for paid money really... Grr. Not sure what to do. Guess I needed to have that rant. Yikes.
I know a successful entrepreneur who was living with parents, and she was 60+ and they were STILL driving her crazy!! Grr
Well, my parents are good & awesome people too, but they drive me crazy!! lol (sometimes/often) And I them, lol!
It was way easier when they were still working, there was at least some resemblance of 'schedule'/time management etc.
I've lived with them for 10 years now, and I've got a lot of 'stuff' (papers etc, stuff I've written...)
I kept thinking every year to move (at least 2x a year), then never went round to it... Sometimes they can be quite lovely to live with, and in our street/neighbourhood many young familes live with the parents, it's not such a big deal. It's quite 'normal' in a way... But most of those have jobs outside of home (and are married with kids, similar lifestyle as their parents) and it's easier that way...
Now we're talking about re-painting a room, it'll be a lot of work to sort of 'upload' things and move closets/wardrobes full of books etc, and then move them back... (The actual painting is the mini part of it)
I don't know if it makes sense to invest that much time and effort into repainting the room and making it better, get an ergonomic desk etc, the works... They'd still be there to annoy me I guess lol!! (and me them, it's usually mutual lol) Sometimes I just wanna get a room elsewhere, and think making money would be easier then, cause I'd have more peace of mind...
It was way easier when they were still working, there was at least some resemblance of 'schedule'/time management etc.
I've lived with them for 10 years now, and I've got a lot of 'stuff' (papers etc, stuff I've written...)
I kept thinking every year to move (at least 2x a year), then never went round to it... Sometimes they can be quite lovely to live with, and in our street/neighbourhood many young familes live with the parents, it's not such a big deal. It's quite 'normal' in a way... But most of those have jobs outside of home (and are married with kids, similar lifestyle as their parents) and it's easier that way...
Now we're talking about re-painting a room, it'll be a lot of work to sort of 'upload' things and move closets/wardrobes full of books etc, and then move them back... (The actual painting is the mini part of it)
I don't know if it makes sense to invest that much time and effort into repainting the room and making it better, get an ergonomic desk etc, the works... They'd still be there to annoy me I guess lol!! (and me them, it's usually mutual lol) Sometimes I just wanna get a room elsewhere, and think making money would be easier then, cause I'd have more peace of mind...