Letting things build up... (& alcohol)

[theslowesthand]

This seems to be my "style" to I regularly let "sh¿t" BUILD RIGHT UP, until i can't barely stand the pain any more ... and THEN i act. (by "sh¿t" which i mean as "deep emotional sh¿t", such as misery & depression, and which there's no logiacl explanation for - ie "mysterious sh¿t")

Probably what leads to this state, for me, is not allowing any "play" or "relaxation", neglecting my true needs, suffering significant emotional distress for several days (or weeks), "allowing" it to worsen, etc. So i "punish" myself, in various ways, but generally just not allowing my own emotional needs to be met. And then i become DEPRESSED!!! (which is basically just a "step up" in emotional pain)

Then what i do, in my natural course of events (am considering as i write this) i take seriously to the grog (binge session). Aftwerwards i usually have a sense of "emotional relief" (due to the "emotional release" instigated by the alcohol/music/escape)

This cycle of "personal abuse" i repeat on avaerage, several times each year, say every couple months or so (used to be every week, & at worst practically every day). So am a lot better than in past, but still this whole thing is very much a concern - my life still very much in the ***.

So although i aint an "alcoholic", would this be termed "alcoholism" i wonder? "Semi-alcoholism"? Whatever the case, i know there is a "problem" currently worldwide, of people esp youths drinking to excess (ie binging). Anyone know anything about this aspect of society?. Would the reasons that others binge be similar to my reasons??

 

[Silvox Black]

The human mind is one strange, self-destructive piece of rubbish isn't it. Your observations and conclusions as to your behavior are most likely quite accurate, and I would consider them to be true. Your intelligence in the matter is not something I often see and is very commendable.

To answer your question, your answer would be one of many reasons that others binge on alcohol. In order to properly respond to your inquiry however, you would need to specify an age group since teenagers tend to binge for reasons far removed from adults and whatnot.

 

[RelentlessHamster]

punishing you is not a very good way to solve thing, neither is drinking depressives, that's what alcohol is besides the happiness it creates is only temporary, you must find an activity you genuinely like and keep yourself busy from such negative thoughts

 

[Feathers]

Ahh, I can relate to this... I let my social and emotional or RELAX needs (or nutritional) unmet sometimes too, and then burn and crash...

I don't binge on alcohol, but I had 'Japanese drama' binges or marathons, or Korean drama or whatever.. Or reading books as escapism.. (or the forums )
If you just want to get away from alcohol, you might try some of these.. Though I don't really recommend it..
Much better to listen to yourself and actually do things in the direction of constructive problem-solving and such. And then tell me how

How could you add in "play" or "relaxation", or accomplishments in ways of true needs into daily or weekly schedule?

I often waited with stuff too long too, so the ideal is to recognize it and do something about it (either in communication with others or yourself) to establish some sort of boundaries to adhere to...
I'm not very good with boundaries, either for myself or others, self-imposed or imposed by others.. Though I'm better than I used to be, learning about it helped..
Are there any 'warning signs' that could be 'dealt with' in easier ways than allowing it to go 'full-scale'?

There are different theories about alcoholism. Some say it's actually like an allergy, and that the person can't have even one drink.. Can you have just one drink without it leading to others?
I think I've seen theories that 'binges' can be alcoholism too, maybe it depends on the circumstances or other social factors or such too, not sure..
Some also say it's like 'self-medicating' depression or bipolar.. In that case just try to deal with depression and bipolar in different ways - have you tried journalling, CBT, TAT or EFT, nutrition?

 

[theslowesthand]

The main topic of this thread is "Letting things build up..." but i added "(& alcohol)" to title to spark interest in any alcoholic types. So really my issue isnt with drinking (thats under control; i can pick'n'choose if/when to drink). The issue is with the building-up of stuff (which i cant seem able to stop).

Much better to listen to yourself and actually do things in the direction of constructive problem-solving and such

Thats what ive been trying to do, but it all falls flat ::

How could you add in "play" or "relaxation", or accomplishments in ways of true needs into daily or weekly schedule?

Firstly, i am not even sure that these mysterious/unknown emotional needs can be put into any category. I might not even know that they exist?. All i know is, the "sh¿t" keeps building, and probably barely goes down, if at all (maybe i just am able to take my mind of them, to escape the misery for a short while?)

Are there any 'warning signs' that could be 'dealt with' in easier ways than allowing it to go 'full-scale'?

Maybe there is?. There should be eh?. But the trouble is, its probbaly too complex to try and separate-out these warning-signs from all the other 'warning-signs' that i regularly face every day, such as fear of change, loneliness, irritability, general anxiety, low energy,..... I woudnt know where to start!

I am thinking maybe i should investigate some happiness stuff, but the thing is, happiness (& unhappiness) is a HUGELY complex thing. Its not scientific (not yet anyway). Its not even REMOTELY "orderly". Happiness is just one giant complex mess of this, that and everything, and nothing. I CAN'T just decide to be happy, make a plan of action, do it, and then be happy. I've always found my hapiness to be completely mysterious, random & elusive - B**TCH of a thing to deal with.
So here i am again, for the 10000th time, trying to tackle something which can't be accurately described, detected, analysed, or resolved. A big PA*N-I*-THE-A** for me, always has been, but i sppose many people can relate to this.

 

[Feathers]

Well, I have emotional needs to relax and 'download info' (especially after info overwhelm at big events or important meetings) so I need boundaries that reflect that.

I'm thinking that if I eg have a meeting in a different town, I can be tired next day. Three days full of meetings and social stuff can totally exhaust me.. (especially if sugar/gluten is involved)
Three or more 'big' meetings/events in a day exhausted me too..

So I'm thinking about setting up 'rules' for myself, like: Don't set up meetings before other scheduled social activities or events that you plan to go to. Don't schedule too much for one day (or even one week), schedule in relaxation and info processing time too! (Or you'll get info overwhelm or might even get ill/have a headache/feel restless later.) I need both action and reflection time, time with people and apart - both work-wise and privately.
Do: have at least one day free before a planned social activity, ideally. (Unexpected calls can make a difference, so two days would probably be ideal.)
Plan at least one day to unwind after a social (or stressful) activity. Ideally two (or more). Don't expect perfection from yourself in those two days, just take it easy..

Don't drink or eat anything with sugar or too much stuff with gluten, even if you're not sure if they're bad for you, because you know you'll feel like crap later. (This is for me, you can observe your own nutritional and lifestyle needs!)
Do: take with stuff that is okay to eat and drink, and looks good so others could eat it too? (Need to come up with some of that stuff too.. ) I sometimes forgot or did not plan enough, or relied other people would make good plans for me or such..

These are just from the top of my head.

 

[theslowesthand]

Yeah, those sorts of things you CAN control, to a reasonable extent (although can't control your "reactions" to those events). Maybe that's about as "in-control" one can get with life & hapiness?. I recall a quote, ~'We can truly control about 5% of our lives, the rest is out of our hands". Maybe i am trying to fight that? (which i cannot EVER win)

I used to have EXTREME post-reactions to social events (eg going shopping). I would be an ABSOLUTE EMOTIONAL WRECK for anywhere up to a WEEK afterwards!!. But in hindsight, i think i did the wrong things on the "DA" (Day After), which then ADDED to the original affects of the outing. Such as drinking alcohol. I would be like, 'oh hell, that event has REALLY f**cked me up!!!' totally blaming IT, and not OTHER contributing factors (alcohol, diet, caffeine/chocolate/sugar, my own post-analysing,...)

 

[EscapeArtist]

The human mind is one strange, self-destructive piece of rubbish isn't it.

At the same time, our bodies are very strong for living through all of the self-destruction we cause. Our minds are stronger than we know, we can control the future my imagining what we want and simply believing we can have it. We are just using those powers in a negative direction. I can relate a lot to what you have said, I do the same, although I don't binge in mass quantities, I hide my problems in pot and alcohol, or whatever I can get my hands on. I have yet to find another way