Let's start to feel okay when people look at you.

[Falkor]

Hey ,

Imagine yourself sitting in a restaurant, it's really full of people, and people are staring at you. How do u STOP caring about people staring at you?
What kind of thoughts could u use to stop care about that?

What kind of things do u think while people are staring at you? what makes you feel so uncomfortable?

And what will make you feel better? This is for every situation a good solvation to find the right thoughts to feel better. To feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed.

Ok.. here is my list

What kind of things do u think while people are staring at you? what makes you feel so uncomfortable?

-I'm afraid people will notice i'm insecure.
-I'm afraid people will think I eat on a disqusting way.
-I'm afraid people will think i'm ugly
-I'm afraid people will notice my awkwardness
-I'm afraid people will stare at me like, wow there's something wrong with that girl
-I'm afraid people see my scared face
-I'm afraid people will talk about me, or laugh about me
-I',m afraid people will judge me on my behaviour
-I feel anxiety ( because of my thoughts, and what i see )

I'd love to discuss this. Cuz this might help us. to solve this .. To have another thoughts while sitting in a restaurant. And feel okay with people looking at you.

But I dont know what to think to feel better?

Any ideas?

 

[Dronee]

I used to have difficulty and anxiety even buying groceries... but after being a police officer, salesman and other jobs that require heavy interaction, I'd little problems with whatever random people might think. How do I put it? Like... for myself, when I've gone through even greater hardships, the previous hardship seems easy...

It's a very painful way though. But that's my two cents worth of experience.

 

[planemo]

This is one major area of concern for me. I guess I feel exactly as you do flowergirlie. The major thing for me is that I know people have stared at me at various stages in my life. This I know for a fact, it was not just in my mind. But most other times it's just me being me. I remember as a young child feeling very uncomfortable with anyone looking at me. I tbh have always felt "exposed", "naked", whatever one wants to call it and I have never gotten out of it. My fear has subsided since I am on meds, but b4 that I basically became agoraphobic because of it. I am slowly getting out of it, but it's still a big deal to me. I wish I knew how to stop feeling this way. It would make my life a whole lot better...

If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

 

[Anthem of the Angels]

Most of the time I just put on some headphones, focus on the music and try to let my mind go blank. This isn't working always for me though... ok, 90% of the times it doesn't. I've hated being around people for as long as I can remember, even before I started sweating. Anxiety combined with primary hyperhidrosis is just pure overkill... in a bad way. Every time I go outside I was afraid of what people might think about me, and that caused me to sweat even more. I was tired of it. I had to face my fears, so I tried to take care of it the hard way. During winter, when I could wear something over my blouse to cover up the sweat stains I started to go out a lot. It was hard as hell, but I had a friend whom I could trust, and always rely on. Now I still am afraid to go out in public, but not so much as I used to. I always try to tell myself that I can't change what other people think about me, so I might as well not give a damn.

Haha, it took me half an hour to pickup the courage to write this. Every time I wanna post something I'm afraid that someone might misunderstand me, or get offended, which eventually leads to me making sentences that don't make any sense.

Sorry for my bad English.

 

[bigrob]

I used to have difficulty and anxiety even buying groceries...

Holy cow....I've started doing that.

At first it was just that I couldn't go back into a store I had already been to that day (I didn't want people to see me twice) so if I forgot something it either waited until the next day or my wife had to get it. Now I think that the grocery employees are watching me and tracking what I buy......and thinking "that guy eats too much pizza"! ::

I laugh about it, but it sucks that I'm hungry atm but not going because I want a pizza and am afraid they notice.

 

[highwire]

This is one major area of concern for me. I guess I feel exactly as you do flowergirlie. The major thing for me is that I know people have stared at me at various stages in my life. This I know for a fact, it was not just in my mind. But most other times it's just me being me. I remember as a young child feeling very uncomfortable with anyone looking at me. I tbh have always felt "exposed", "naked", whatever one wants to call it and I have never gotten out of it. My fear has subsided since I am on meds, but b4 that I basically became agoraphobic because of it. I am slowly getting out of it, but it's still a big deal to me. I wish I knew how to stop feeling this way. It would make my life a whole lot better...

If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

My anxiety started out similar to yours. Based on the experience of actually being stared at. Now i feel like that all the time when i moved back to the previous place i lived in when no one's looking like that at me anymore.

 

[SnowWolf]

One of the things I was taught in CBT was a thing called Mindfulness - it's basically focusing on immediate experiences of the external world around you, having a little think about it and then find something else, and repeat until you calm down. I guess the point is to stop you from focusing on yourself so damn much... which is easier said than done with SA. Sometimes I get so stuck in a loop of thoughts in my head that I want to punch myself.

 

[Marletta]

When I am having a good day, I am very worried about being stared at and what others are thinking when they look at me. I hope its positve but being a negative person, I always think the worse. When I am having a bad day, I couldn't f*ing care less.
I realize the key is to remain focused on my purpose of being wherever I am and who I am with then I forget about everyone else around me. You don't have to interact. Just smile and go on your way. I have yet to acheive this 100 percent of the time but practice does make perfect.

 

[lunarla]

The biggest thing is my facial appearance. If people were staring at me I'd be positive it was because of how weird/odd I look.

The only solution I can see for myself with that is to feel better about my appearance and have more self esteem. Get rid of the (hopefully) warped thinking, etc. How to do that? Hmmm, well I think it definitely starts with getting rid of the negative thoughts that constantly run through my mind. To be more secure with myself regardless of my appearance. To stop thinking that my appearance is somehow the only thing that matters.