karma and social anxiety

[freestylemonster]

An important thing to remember when you're trying to get over social anxiety is karma. Even if you don't believe in karma it's a really important factor.

If you treat people nicely they'll treat you nicely too. If you're quiet and don't talk to anyone, no-one's gonna talk to you. If you want friends you have to be friendly!

Just remember that. What goes around comes around! Be a nice friendly person and people will be nice and friendly to you! Be cold and distant and people will keep their distance.

Just a thought

 

[nephatitus]

well said sir

 

[Lea]

Does it mean that shy = cold, bad person? Or that shyness is a sin? It´s like to say that cancer is a sin, or any other disease is a sin... I think it is a bit far fetched to assume all sociable people are good and people who struggle in socialising aren´t. At least I hope I don´t harm anyone by being shy (except myself).

But there are other things in my life that I feel guilty of. It begins with details like buying a yoghurt or ice-cream, let alone meat. It may seem negligible, but with every small product we support killing and abusing of animals (yes, abuse too, the workers in slaughterhouses often abuse the animals and nobody from the outside cares or can do anything. The people who work there are very rough and emotionless, often sadists but the society wants them there because no normal person would otherwise do it. It´s all so terribly twisted in this society. It often seems to me I live in a cobweb, half blind, not actually doing a crime myself but I am at the root of it, I support it. Sometimes I feel guilty even of living, because in order that one person could live, how many animals need to suffer or die? I was a strict vegetarian since 16 but now in the recent years I´ve lost my ability of self discipline, faith, willpower... like I don´t care about anything, I have no motivation. I also tend to rationalize like if I don´t buy it, someone else will, what´s the point, I won´t change the situation anyway.. Plus as a result of my bad self discipline I end up feeling sick and bad about myself and am depressed and as a result of it I eat even worse and more rubbish. Plus when you feel badly, you don´t help even yourself, let alone others or do something useful in this world. I am struggling to clear my mind somehow and get out of this cobweb and vicious circle. I want to have things in grip...

 

[wafer]

yeah. I realize other people need attention/ approval too. Its not good to stay so caught up in my own shyness issues..even when im not overcome with anxiety, its hard to get out of the habit of just staying silent and not interacting, as it is sort of a safe zone.

Lea im also a vegetarian and i often have those thoughts you had, and have also had thoughts of quitting. I don't think that all the people working at farms are sadists though, they are just people who have to make a living doing that horrible job. it's a product of the way the facilities are run at breakneck speeds because meat is in such high demand. the workers don't have time to ensure that all the animals are healthy and not suffering, and there is just not enough inspection going on to prevent the abuse, which seems to be done in order to keep the animals moving.

 

[licorice]

yeah. I realize other people need attention/ approval too. Its not good to stay so caught up in my own shyness issues..even when im not overcome with anxiety, its hard to get out of the habit of just staying silent and not interacting, as it is sort of a safe zone.

Yes,it makes other people think you dont like them and when you keep ignoring them/pushing them away they get fed up and then they do the same to you thus reinforcing your own negative,distorted self views..Coming out of ones comfort zone is certainly not an easy thing but you have to be willing to make some concessions...

 

[Violaine]

It sucks that I have a lot of bad karma even though i'm just reacting from the stress of my social anxiety. It might seem like an excuse but before I knew that I had SA I didn't understand myself or my reactions.

 

[Doomed2Die]

Plus as a result of my bad self discipline I end up feeling sick and bad about myself and am depressed and as a result of it I eat even worse and more rubbish. Plus when you feel badly, you don´t help even yourself, let alone others or do something useful in this world. I am struggling to clear my mind somehow and get out of this cobweb and vicious circle. I want to have things in grip...

I feel the same, I have my faith however and I have reason to not ignore the very obvious evil (as it were) in life. I believe one has to take action to break out of the depression/routine/lifelessness, to find an anchor.

Back to topic, it's good common sense. Who you are is defined solely in action, anything else is outside influence and narrow views. Honesty for example is a likable trait for many and even the quiet can make friends simply through word of mouth.

Chance is still viable of course, things may not do the full "karma" loop so to say.

 

[SickJoke]

An important thing to remember when you're trying to get over social anxiety is karma. Even if you don't believe in karma it's a really important factor.

If you treat people nicely they'll treat you nicely too. If you're quiet and don't talk to anyone, no-one's gonna talk to you. If you want friends you have to be friendly!

Just remember that. What goes around comes around! Be a nice friendly person and people will be nice and friendly to you! Be cold and distant and people will keep their distance.

Just a thought

Yeah I agree this is true. It's reciprocation. If you are afraid of someone, they'll probably get weirded out and become afraid of you. If you start yelling at someone, they'll probably pick up on the vibe and get angry with you. The same goes for when you're being genuinely friendly to someone, they'll probably be friendly to you as well. As social animals, we reciprocate emotionally, so use it to everyone's advantage and spread the positivity!

 

[freestylemonster]

Yeah I agree this is true. It's reciprocation. If you are afraid of someone, they'll probably get weirded out and become afraid of you. If you start yelling at someone, they'll probably pick up on the vibe and get angry with you. The same goes for when you're being genuinely friendly to someone, they'll probably be friendly to you as well. As social animals, we reciprocate emotionally, so use it to everyone's advantage and spread the positivity!

Yeah man I totally agree! I don't mean to bring religion into this buuuut as Jesus said we gotta treat others as we want to be treated!!!

 

[wafer]

Yes,it makes other people think you dont like them and when you keep ignoring them/pushing them away they get fed up and then they do the same to you thus reinforcing your own negative,distorted self views..Coming out of ones comfort zone is certainly not an easy thing but you have to be willing to make some concessions...

yes this is what i have come to realize. It is hard when you are too anxious to even say anything though, in those instances i know what i say will come out sounding very strained and i generally give off weird vibes when im so tense, so the fear of appearing weird and therefore scaring people away will keep me silent. Your right that the only way to get over it is to just do it, even if it might mean having an awkward moment.

 

[MotherWolff]

So karma is like an action, reaction thing I guess. In a way I believe in karma, but in another way I do not. For example, how can a poor man have a rich personality(like being loving and friendly) but how can a rich man have a poor personality(being cold and distant). No, I'm not saying all rich people are bad and all poor people are good, this is just an example. So karma couldn't hold true for everything all the time could it?

Does it mean that shy = cold, bad person? Or that shyness is a sin? It´s like to say that cancer is a sin, or any other disease is a sin... I think it is a bit far fetched to assume all sociable people are good and people who struggle in socialising aren´t. At least I hope I don´t harm anyone by being shy (except myself).

But there are other things in my life that I feel guilty of. It begins with details like buying a yoghurt or ice-cream, let alone meat. It may seem negligible, but with every small product we support killing and abusing of animals (yes, abuse too, the workers in slaughterhouses often abuse the animals and nobody from the outside cares or can do anything. The people who work there are very rough and emotionless, often sadists but the society wants them there because no normal person would otherwise do it. It´s all so terribly twisted in this society. It often seems to me I live in a cobweb, half blind, not actually doing a crime myself but I am at the root of it, I support it. Sometimes I feel guilty even of living, because in order that one person could live, how many animals need to suffer or die? I was a strict vegetarian since 16 but now in the recent years I´ve lost my ability of self discipline, faith, willpower... like I don´t care about anything, I have no motivation. I also tend to rationalize like if I don´t buy it, someone else will, what´s the point, I won´t change the situation anyway.. Plus as a result of my bad self discipline I end up feeling sick and bad about myself and am depressed and as a result of it I eat even worse and more rubbish. Plus when you feel badly, you don´t help even yourself, let alone others or do something useful in this world. I am struggling to clear my mind somehow and get out of this cobweb and vicious circle. I want to have things in grip...

That's why I don't eat animals anymore. I've been a vegetarian(not a vegan because I still eat animal products like milk, and I want to cease this too) for 4 or 5 years since I was 15 or 16 for reasons why other people become vegetarians and vegans. I also like animals very much although I don't have any pets and hardly any experience with being around animals. I agree that if you're eating the animals then you are supporting their deaths to begin with which is why I stopped. But I do hope that over the years I(and other vegans and vegetarians) won't lose their motivation and begin eating animals again like the world wants.

 

[SickJoke]

So karma is like an action, reaction thing I guess. In a way I believe in karma, but in another way I do not. For example, how can a poor man have a rich personality(like being loving and friendly) but how can a rich man have a poor personality(being cold and distant). No, I'm not saying all rich people are bad and all poor people are good, this is just an example. So karma couldn't hold true for everything all the time could it?

I think he's using karma in a more direct sense, not so much spiritually. People often reciprocate the way you treat them.

 

[licorice]

I think he's using karma in a more direct sense, not so much spiritually. People often reciprocate the way you treat them.

I was thinking same thing,like when you do something deliberatley mean or hurtful it will come back to you eventually,maybe not in the form you expect but it will come back to you nonetheless...

 

[Illusions]

I do try to socialise and talk to people but it seems like it isn't working. Some people don't feel obliged to talk to me back so sometimes I just don't bother anymore. It doesn't help that socialising is tiring for me.

That doesn't mean I'll completely stop trying though. I'll keep my options open.

 

[MotherWolff]

Karma reminds me of this book I read very recently called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byne. It claims that if you send out positive thoughts to the universe, the universe will then return postive things back to you. But if its negative thoughts instead, then the universe will bring back negativity into your life. "The Secret" does involve a bit of quantum physics, but would it also be considered as the same thing as karma? Either way if karma and "The Secret" are real, I believe that it could not only benefit SA sufferers but people all over the world. If we applied the belief of karma and/or "The Secret" to our lives maybe we could erase our SA for good.

 

[lettypagb]

lol , i dont believe my karma is so bad like that

 

[WeirdGirl]

An important thing to remember when you're trying to get over social anxiety is karma. Even if you don't believe in karma it's a really important factor.

If you treat people nicely they'll treat you nicely too. If you're quiet and don't talk to anyone, no-one's gonna talk to you. If you want friends you have to be friendly!

Just remember that. What goes around comes around! Be a nice friendly person and people will be nice and friendly to you! Be cold and distant and people will keep their distance.

Just a thought

I think i see you point but it's maybe just a little black and white.
remember that nobody chooses to have this illness they don't wake up in the morning and choose to be distant, this is a dibilitating illness.

 

[TheLoneWolf]

no matter how friendly i try to be, people are always bored of me or awkward around me. Its frustrating, bc someone can go up and say the same thing in the same way and the other person reacts positively. If i do it, all of a sudden things are wierd. Plus, when I act friendly sometimes i have trouble expressing my thoughts and say stupid things, so no matter how friendly i try to be it always ends up bad

 

[Thelema]

It's been shown that a more open friendly person is treated more friendly themselves. It's human nature; Karma has nothing to do with it.

 

[Thelema]

Karma reminds me of this book I read very recently called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byne. It claims that if you send out positive thoughts to the universe, the universe will then return postive things back to you. But if its negative thoughts instead, then the universe will bring back negativity into your life. "The Secret" does involve a bit of quantum physics, but would it also be considered as the same thing as karma? Either way if karma and "The Secret" are real, I believe that it could not only benefit SA sufferers but people all over the world. If we applied the belief of karma and/or "The Secret" to our lives maybe we could erase our SA for good.

The "secret" is that she's making millions selling DVDs while people are twiddling their thumbs hoping thinking happy thoughts are magic. Since when has doing nothing and thinking happy thoughts solved anyone's problem, ever? There's nothing scientific about it...in any way at all. They name drop quantum physics to help make it easier to swallow the obvious wackjob ideas.