Job :/

[noblame4]

I finally have an interveiw next week. It couldn't come at a better time, because it's a job with insurance, and my dogs chewed up my glasses, I have a back tooth that is fucked, and my Nana retired and her insurance turned to shit and she told me she might have to quit taking her diabetes medicine because she cant afford the extra $200 a month.

But I slipped back into recluse-dom for almost a year (I'm crazy.) And the thought of having to deal with coworkers, patients, and DAYLIGHT scares me. I'm having really bad nightmares and migranes again.

And nobody understands my problem. I feel weak and pathetic talking to anyone about it. Now my Nana needs help, and I'm such a fuck up, she wasted her time and money on me.

Maybe I can get on paxil again. I'm just so scared of things that normal people arent scared of. I hate my brain.

 

[Sacrament]

You will feel guilty for the rest of your life if you don't help your grandmother, specially when she doesn't even want to take her medicine because it's too expensive.

When you go out and look for a job, don't think about how scared you're going to be or what people will think of you. Think: I'm going to keep a straight face, suck it up and do my very best for my grandmother and for myself as well.

 

[slimjim119]

I finally have an interveiw next week. It couldn't come at a better time, because it's a job with insurance, and my dogs chewed up my glasses, I have a back tooth that is fucked, and my Nana retired and her insurance turned to shit and she told me she might have to quit taking her diabetes medicine because she cant afford the extra $200 a month.

But I slipped back into recluse-dom for almost a year (I'm crazy.) And the thought of having to deal with coworkers, patients, and DAYLIGHT scares me. I'm having really bad nightmares and migranes again.

And nobody understands my problem. I feel weak and pathetic talking to anyone about it. Now my Nana needs help, and I'm such a fuck up, she wasted her time and money on me.

Maybe I can get on paxil again. I'm just so scared of things that normal people arent scared of. I hate my brain.

Good luck with the job! Try to be as confident and positive as possible. Your just as good as any of those so-called "normal" people.

 

[sleepysparrow]

Good luck with the interview! I totally understand you stressing out about this, I hate, LOATHE, interviews. but just think about doing it for your Nana and for the $$. The only thing that can motivate me to do something is doing it for someone else who I care about, I don't want or care to do anything on my own. It's a good reason to try to overcome something difficult, and it might be a good experience for you right? I hope so. I wish you the best

 

[Kamen]

Good luck!
I agree with sleepysparrow - in our condition, an outer force can be more more motivating to do something, such as to do it for someone else.