Jelousy people

April72

Well-known member
#1
Let's see what's your opinión?

When you really love someone, you are happy if she can share with other people. Even moré, when you know that she has AvPD. You should feel happy if she finds people who she can share with about her problems, about life.
I feel stuck. I feel trapped. I thought true love is love without conditions.
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
#2
I have to admit I am a jealous person as well :(

Being jealous doesn't mean you don't love someone or that you don't want them to be happy - sometimes it's just hard if you feel left out. I guess it depends on how they handle it. You can't help it when you feel jealous, but you can accept it as your problem. If they want you to stop doing things because they're jealous, I think it's time to have a serious conversation. Maybe the other person also needs reassurance that you love them, you need them and you're not going to leave.
 

April72

Well-known member
#3
He doesn't seem now the best person to talk with. He said he doesn't want to know anything about me.
I'll try to talk with him when he was calm down.
Thank you friend!
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
#4
How are things now, have you talked? I can't really say much based on what little you've posted here, but your last post made him sound not very supportive. How much does he understand about your AvPD?

Communication is the key, but it only works if both people are open for it. You can talk all you want but if the other person isn't interested in your side of the story, you won't get anywhere :(
 

Richey

Well-known member
#5
One good way of dealing with jealousy is to instead realise this...

You cannot change this person, they behave the way they do because of their own world, and that is something you can only tolerate at best...

So instead of feeling resentful or jealous...

The only useful thing to do is to try to understand and learn from this situation...

Example...
You like a friend, maybe even love them...
But they get on better with another person, have better chemistry and they joke around more....

There is nothing you can do to change this..it is what it is...

So the only thing to do is try to learn from them, which is way better, try to learn how they joke around, what are they saying, what is their body language, what is their style of conversation..

Concentrate, learn, and try to emulate...

If nothing else, instead of getting angry and becoming distant, even if you lose your friend, by staying positive and emulating them YOU can at least take what you learn from those people and use that for new situations in the future with other people...

So a philosophy could be, ok, i can learn from them, there are plenty of fish in the ocean, I can learn from their chemistry and take this into making other friends...

See it as educational...
 
Last edited:

April72

Well-known member
#6
Well, I also think communication is very important in a relationship. I finally made him laugh yesterday.
He is jelousy of my avoidants friends. I think he is a bit right. I communicate a lot with them and I stay many time in the AvPD forum.
I need it. I need to communicate with people who feel the same as me. Indeed, I need to communicate with people in general and I guess he sees this change as a threat bc it's a change in me. I used to see people as alíen and now I see them as loveable.
 
Top