I've lost my ability to write!

[Lowlight]

So I used to be a pretty good writer back in high school (4 years ago). I mostly wrote persuasive papers trying to convince the reader that my opinion on a subject was correct. I also had to do a few research papers that I didn't find too interesting. It was the fiction that I could write that was good (apparently). I didn't write too much fiction, but a few short stories here or there wasn't out of the question.

It was in my first year of community college that I began to write seriously again. I had a few good angles and ideas that I started to write down. I was actually happy because writing seemed to be one of the few things that I was good at. It was at this time that two things happened which upset my writing process.

The first was being placed on lithium. I needed the lithium for my bipolar desperately because I used to be very confrontational when I was manic. When I first started out with the lithium I was enveloped in a haze that stunted most of my mental faculties. I was the definition of a zombie. I couldn't read with any comprehension. I couldn't write a paragraph without getting lost in my own mind.

The second event that hurt my writing was the untimely death of my laptop. The short story is that the hard drive failed and I lost all my data. All my stories I had written from senior year of high school to the end of my college days were gone (And no I wasn't smart enough to back it up. Please learn from my mistake).

So now I have not only lost my catalog of writings but I have also lost the ability to replenish the volumes with new stories because of the lithium induced fog.

Have any of you ever had any experience losing your writer's mind?

 

[MikeyC]

That's a terrible sequence of events, mate. And yeah, backing up your files is the best thing you can do! I've done it right now and I know it'll be a lifesaver one day.

Is it possible to lower the amount of lithium you're taking so you're not a virtual "zombie", as you put it?

As for me, I was a very good writer in 6th grade - so much so that the teacher read out one of my stories to the class (highly embarrassing) - but that creative niche was never cultivated and I don't believe I'm any good anymore. I've wanted to try and get back into it but the motivation is not there.

 

[Kiwong]

Well you wrote that post a good place to start I suppose

I haven't written much this last few years excpet for my blog. I seemed to write most when I was in the grip of my depression.

 

[Illusions]

I lost my writer's mind years back after I attempted to write short stories back in primary school! I guess I just lost motivation.

I think reading and lots of practice is what it takes to get better at writing. You just have to open up Microsoft Word, settle on an idea and type away. You might cringe at what you come up with (speaking from experience here) but you'll get better at it in no time.

 

[ERose]

So I used to be a pretty good writer back in high school (4 years ago). I mostly wrote persuasive papers trying to convince the reader that my opinion on a subject was correct. I also had to do a few research papers that I didn't find too interesting. It was the fiction that I could write that was good (apparently). I didn't write too much fiction, but a few short stories here or there wasn't out of the question.

It was in my first year of community college that I began to write seriously again. I had a few good angles and ideas that I started to write down. I was actually happy because writing seemed to be one of the few things that I was good at. It was at this time that two things happened which upset my writing process.

The first was being placed on lithium. I needed the lithium for my bipolar desperately because I used to be very confrontational when I was manic. When I first started out with the lithium I was enveloped in a haze that stunted most of my mental faculties. I was the definition of a zombie. I couldn't read with any comprehension. I couldn't write a paragraph without getting lost in my own mind.

The second event that hurt my writing was the untimely death of my laptop. The short story is that the hard drive failed and I lost all my data. All my stories I had written from senior year of high school to the end of my college days were gone (And no I wasn't smart enough to back it up. Please learn from my mistake).

So now I have not only lost my catalog of writings but I have also lost the ability to replenish the volumes with new stories because of the lithium induced fog.

Have any of you ever had any experience losing your writer's mind?

I would just like to say that you've written this thread so beautifully. The more you write, the more replenished you become. Maybe stories aren't your thing any more, but you definitely have the ability to write more.

 

[Aletheia]

Oh I feel for you. It's so important to have a creative outlet, particularly if it's something your self esteem is resting on.

Funnily enough, the huge handful of pills I take every night (including lithium) aids my creativity. It helps me feel and helps me feel alive and not like some zombie thrashing about in a numb fog with no words editing herself out of existence.

(Side note: this may be apocryphal, but my father, who is also bipolar, told me about a writer's conference where a quick poll revealed that 60% of the participants were bipolar, and that, of course, might have been under reported.)

 

[Etbow23]

Have any of you ever had any experience losing your writer's mind?

Yes; I am a writer as well. Lately (well for a while) I feel as if I just can't write. I used to write poetry almost every day and the words would just pour out of me. Lately I write only like here and there, and I don't feel as if the experience is the same anymore. I stopped writing so much after this woman in a group writing circle harshly criticized my work and personally insulted me. I had just lost a loved one who passed away and my poem was very sad. She said, "it may go to the New Yorker, they have weird stuff like this" and looked at my arm and said "are those scars?"

I was devastated. After that I didn't write much and when I did, everything came out awkward, not passionate like before. I was trying to hide my feelings in my poems because I was afraid people would rip them apart like that.

I'd say get off those meds. Some psychiatrist tried to put me on seroquel and some other sh*t, I stopped taking it after a week because I could barely move my limbs and I was sick and NUMB. Sure, I wasn't sad....but what was I? A ZOMBIE, like you said. To this day, I REFUSE to go to a psychiatrist. They do TWO things to you: medicate you and involuntarily hospitalize you. They are swine. Well at least, in my experience.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Yes but not due to drugs. More like... situational and a lot of stuff. I don't know just it's hard to get the passion and ideas flowing back and motivation.

 

[trinket]

So I used to be a pretty good writer back in high school (4 years ago). I mostly wrote persuasive papers trying to convince the reader that my opinion on a subject was correct. I also had to do a few research papers that I didn't find too interesting. It was the fiction that I could write that was good (apparently). I didn't write too much fiction, but a few short stories here or there wasn't out of the question.

It was in my first year of community college that I began to write seriously again. I had a few good angles and ideas that I started to write down. I was actually happy because writing seemed to be one of the few things that I was good at. It was at this time that two things happened which upset my writing process.

The first was being placed on lithium. I needed the lithium for my bipolar desperately because I used to be very confrontational when I was manic. When I first started out with the lithium I was enveloped in a haze that stunted most of my mental faculties. I was the definition of a zombie. I couldn't read with any comprehension. I couldn't write a paragraph without getting lost in my own mind.

The second event that hurt my writing was the untimely death of my laptop. The short story is that the hard drive failed and I lost all my data. All my stories I had written from senior year of high school to the end of my college days were gone (And no I wasn't smart enough to back it up. Please learn from my mistake).

So now I have not only lost my catalog of writings but I have also lost the ability to replenish the volumes with new stories because of the lithium induced fog.

Have any of you ever had any experience losing your writer's mind?

Hello, I’m new here. I found this place quite by accident. I was searching for the keywords, 'I've lost my capacity to write', and up popped this particular thread at this website. What a pleasant surprise. I am glad to be here. Hope I can contribute something constructive to these forums.

I am experiencing the same problem as did Lowlight two years ago. Prior to being placed on certain medication, I was able to articulate my thoughts, quite well. Words came to me without effort. Now, I struggle. I sometime resort to the thesaurus for synonyms and look up definitions of words in the dictionary for ideas on how to formulate my sentences or google a subject for ideas on how to arrange my thoughts, etc. It takes me 15, 20 minutes sometime to formulate one paragraph.

I am wondering how Lowlight is making out since 2011.

 

[GirLIntroverted]

I see this thread is kinda old but I saw that someone replied recently and the title alone made me curious. I can relate to this, however I am not on any meds but I too have lost the ability to write. Writing has been the only way for me to fully communicate my thoughts as I am not that good at communicating how I feel verbally. So I use written words, but lately I have not been able to really write like I used to. This is troublesome for me because I am in the process of going back to school for my BA in English, and finding that I am struggling with writing really makes me hesitate to go forth with the schooling. I have an idea that it's possibly my depression that has caused me to lose the will to write, hopefully somewhere along the line I get it back because it is the only reason I feel I am existing. I plan to leave my mark on this world through my written words. Hope you have recovered from your writers fog Lowlight. Looking back at what I just wrote, I don't like it and thinking of deleting it.

P.S. I did recently find a book on my Kindle called 365 Journal Writing Ideas. I have tried using some of the prompts to help me jog ideas to write about, you might want to try something like this and see if it helps you any. Good luck!

 

[jaim38]

The second event that hurt my writing was the untimely death of my laptop. The short story is that the hard drive failed and I lost all my data. All my stories I had written from senior year of high school to the end of my college days were gone (And no I wasn't smart enough to back it up. Please learn from my mistake).

The good news is, all might not be lost! As weird as it sounds, your hard drive could still be salvageable! You might want to take it to an IT shop and have experts try to recover data from the drive. But, this means having strangers look at private content on your hard drive, which some people aren't willing to allow.

Have any of you ever had any experience losing your writer's mind?

I never had the talent for creative writing, to begin with. I'm not good at writing poetry or fiction. However, I was pretty good at writing argumentative essays with proof to back my points.