I've been ignored/rejected on here. Have any of you?

[pete2682]

I don't understand it. I thought just about everybody on here has sa (so they no what being rejected in life feels like), and would at least take the time to message back a response. And from her post, it was very clear that she was always being rejected herself. So was the message i sent this person creepy/rude or something? Here it is by the way:

"Hi....I saw your post "(name of the post)" But ummm....what kind of people do you talk to? And the one guy had SA and he still shunned you?? What a jerk. If you want to talk to me at all......I am not that kind of person, and would enjoy chatting with you. Otherwise if you don't want to chat with me......there are nice people to chat with on this site....i think. (I've only chatted with one person, but he was very non judgemental and nice.....and obviously, I am the same) i hope to hear from you though. Let me know if you'd like to chat at all."

I sent that like 5 days ago, and a couple days ago sent a friend request. And I know she's been on numerous times since then, because i saw her posts. And that's fine if she wouldn't want to chat with me, I obviously said in the pm that it was. But couldn't she have just sent a response and politely said no, or at the very least accept my friendship, and I would leave it at that. Cause being completely ignored is worse then rejection actually.....in fact it still is rejection, just a higher form of it. Like it says, "you're not even worth my time you piece of sh$t"

Sounds like I'm a complete basket case here with major OCD problems....and I probably am. But I mean it's one thing in real life to be rejected, but when it's on the internet, on a social anxiety forum, with somebody who posts about being completely rejected......that's pretty sad. That's when you know you're at the very bottom of the sewer.

Anyways, I suppose most of you will side against me on this.

 

[fitftw]

many of us have problems even responding via messages. It's similar to being face-to-face for some of us. Not knowing what to say. Takes a lot of time. Also you might be overreacting. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to anyone privately.

 

[pete2682]

many of us have problems even responding via messages. It's similar to being face-to-face for some of us. Not knowing what to say. Takes a lot of time. Also you might be overreacting. Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to anyone privately.

Haha, I figured a response like that. But if that's the case.....why not just accept my friendship though? There is no talking involved with that. Just a simple click of the mouse.....that's it.

 

[forksandspoons]

If she didn't want to chat or be "friends", that is one thing, but she could have at least had the courtesy to respond to you. Not everybody is going to connect on this site, or want to chat with everybody, I doubt it was anything personal.

With that said, Ill respond to anybody and am always open to talking in the chat, about anything

 

[hoddesdon]

Possible explanations

We have SA but i think that is not enough to make a connection between people.

Don't even try, wont work. It will make you just more depressed. ::

That attitude may be the reason for your not receiving a response. The person may have a fatalistic attitude that nothing will ever work out, so there is no point in making any effort. If the issue has been pre-judged, then the other person may feel it is logical not to respond to you.

Some people on this site do genuinely have difficulties even with clicking a button to accept something such as a friendship request.

Of the friendship requests I have sent I would have a success rate no higher than 50%. No-one is suitable for everyone.

 

[pete2682]

We have SA but i think that is not enough to make a connection between people.

Don't even try, wont work. It will make you just more depressed. ::

How can you figure whether there would be a connection or not by just one pm?? And I thought that's the whole point for most people with SA......to make connections with people. And also, I'm about as depressed as depressed can get.....so there's no chance for it going lower anyways. It appears that you are right though about not even trying anymore.

 

[Kat]

You haven't made many posts if she’s been rejected in her life like you say it may take time for her to trust people, try not to jump to any conclusion especially since you don’t know the full extent of that person’s problems.

 

[fitftw]

the point of people with SA is not to make connections with people.

People can have SA and not want to make connections with people.

People with SA just want to not be freaking scared of people and stop being awkward in everyday situations that everyone else is comfortable with and don't think twice about.

 

[KiaKaha]

You have to remember the kinds of people who are on this site. SA can manifest itself in lots of different ways, even to the point where its hard to understand another persons behavior. I can understand your frustration, but you should just try and let it go and move on. And as its already been said, not everyone is going to connect or want to be chat privately... its happened to me to, rejection is just part of life.

 

[pete2682]

the point of people with SA is not to make connections with people.

People can have SA and not want to make connections with people.

People with SA just want to not be freaking scared of people and stop being awkward in everyday situations that everyone else is comfortable with and don't think twice about.

Coming from a guy who has lot's of friends probably. But yeah, I guess you're right. It's not the whole point, but with people that have severe SA......it's usually quite a nasty side affect. And if it's not, you got really lucky.

 

[Remus]

It's not compulsary to reply to any PM, I'm passing this on to mods to look at, to me it seem's like harrasment