It's killing me

[Apple Strudel]

Well, sorry if I sounded like I didn't know where to start because I really don't.

Anyways, I've been isolated ever since I've had severe acne on my face and throughout high school, everyone ignores me and people kept hinting me I was ugly. And add to that, I was bullied terribly and the icing on the cake? I failed my high school GCSE's and went into recluse for 3 years. I was in a pretty bad shape and no one cares. They thought I was lazy or not being serious. Everyday I have to endure some kind of insults thrown at me and trust me, I developed very serious self-esteem due to it.

After 3 years, I went out and got a job through a temporary internet friend and I did badly in it. After that, I resigned and went to seek jobs on my own and sad to say, until now, I've had not had a successful experience...not even once and was always consistently ignored or laid off.

Now, i'm temporary jobless and in a technical school and i'm sitting here, feeling so empty and was wondering what's the use of living a life like this?

I see my past classmates' pictures on facebook and upon seeing them hanging out with friends in places and having the time of their life...I felt so desperately lonely and knowing in my heart, I'll never achieve the same level of social life as some people.

I've lost many years of my life and even halt my studies in college and right now, even though i'm in school...there's like only 5 people here and yes, it's better but my social life and experience suffers badly.

Sometimes I wonder what I do to deserve this. Is it because I am ugly or I used to have a face full of acne and oily.

 

[FOR REAL]

do you feel like if you try to build your confidence up, then one single person sais something that upsets you then your back to square one, like snakes and ladders?
if you do then i know exactly how you feel.

i deleted my BEBO account recently because it really upset me by seeing happy smiley people everywhere who like you said, are having the time of their life.

i wouldnt say im a jealous person, just angry at the world.
i always think to myself, what have i done wrong in a past life!

try to concentrate on the good things, and the good thing i can see from what youve posted is that your still out there getting an education, try to stick with it

best of luck mate

 

[userremoved]

Yeah Facebook can be quite depressing. Of course people are only going to show you the good stuff in their life. I say don't look at it when you're feeling bad. That helps me some.

 

[iamthenra]

No, I honestly don't believe for one second that you are alone because of your acne, oily skin or any appearance issue that you THINK you have. You, I and allot of others up on this forum are alone and feeling lonely just like you! Some people up here are gorgeous and they are alone, and some even virgins too... So, you are not alone. You are amongst great company. Even some of the most famous movie stars are feeling the same way we do. I mean, look at their lifestyle. They use drugs and are being arrested constantly because they are trying to escape their successful life... I guess my point is, that just because people look happy on the outside, they may be hurting or suffering inside. The old saying: "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Happiness has to come from within. You have to be content with what you have now, not what you want or desire. Be happy that your here, your family, pets, and what friendships that you do have. I know it's hard to do, I find myself straying from the very advice I give...

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I don't go on facebook for this exact reason, although it's not really loneliness, it's more of a feeling that I completely abnormal and these are the proper examples of how I should be living.

What you have had to go through sounds absolutely horrible. Even in my ruined mental state, I was never subjected to constant verbal abuse, so I can only imagine how you feel.
I wish you the best of luck.

 

[danstelter]

Unfortunately, nasty and evil people will pick up on anything they can, and if they can find something that they think is not right with you, especially if it is physical, they will jump all over it and make your life miserable, which is what happened to you. It might not be a bad idea, in your case, to try going to a counselor (I tried it a couple times and found it very helpful!)

In my case in relation to my career, I found little success in the computer industry (quit 1 job, got fired from 1, and hated both and my internship), but when I found the right job, which is now social work, I have found tons of success and I am indispensable from my organization. So, if what you're doing isn't working, it might be wise to try something else.

The other thing to remember about facebook is that people in photos are idealized. They are smiling with their friends in groups, doing whatever it is that they find fun. Keep in mind, these things might be the only social events they have done the entire year as well. Pictures can be very deceiving too. People can put up a front and look very happy when in fact they are in a very tough place in life, so I wouldn't let that get you down.

Finally, avoid comparisons in your life; when people compare themselves to others, they always find that they come up short to whomever they are comparing themselves to.

So, hang in there, chin up, find some outside help, and in time, you will find that you are leading quite an enjoyable life!

 

[Lorraine Manca]

I'm sorry you've gone through that. Don't compare yourself to other people. I know, easier said then done. Create your own standard and live by it. Yeah, I agree with the previous posts. Facebook's depressing to me too! I get in some of my worst moods when I compare myself to others. The people we envy, I think, have rich outter lives, while we have rich inner lives. You can't see ours so it dont look so great on facebook. You told your story with strictly the outter details. Which is unfair, because you probably live on the inside, so your life story should be about whats happened over the years on the inside. Does that make any sense? I'm not even sure it makes sense to me. More randomness, happiness is over rated. There is even the word "hap" inside it. Look up the poem hap by Thomas Hardy. "Hap" isnt something you want to depend on. There absolutely nothing wrong with living a sad life. You know why? Because the stuff that matters, truth beauty, whatever you call it is in comedies and tradgedies alike.

 

[Apple Strudel]

Yeah, i'm in like my early 20's, and I've missed everything that would have potentially happen in my teens, just because of not having some beautiful exterior (appearance, studies etc.)

Can't help it if my stepmum would to rub in my face everytime she gets into a bad mood.

Yeah, i'm alone, like one friend from elementary school, can you believe it?

I don't know man...I mean I feel dead even when typing this. I have no interest in school but kept at it because I didn't know what I wanted to do. Yeah, I can't keep up with what the society is going about.

I mean, I can't even get the basics right, which is my appearance and studies. It's no wonder I feel lonely as no one cares about that underachieving person sitting at one corner, frowning and looking like her soul has been sucked out of it.

 

[mmmm]

well, you finally got rid of that crappy job where that bitchazoid was making you miserable. that bad situation probably had you pumping out adrenaline 24/7, so it's no wonder you're feeling flat now that the good old fight or flight hormone no longer reigns supreme. "soul sucked out" seems like a perfectly reasonable description. Don't worry, it sounds to me like a hormonal slump. It will most likely sort itself out.