Hi, yes I agree with you there, time does seem to be getting shorter and I look back and realise what I have done with my life since leaving school in 2005, absolutely nothing, I've had two office jobs which lasted for 3 months each and that was it, they got rid of me because I was no good and wouldnt talk to anyone. They said I wasn't trying to fit in. The reason I didn't talk to anyone was because I was terrified that they would think that I was stupid or something, I always worried about what people thought of me, I felt like such a loser. Everytime someone would talk to me I used to ignore them. I used to sit at my desk and count the hours till I could go home, not like I had anything to go home for
just to sit in my bedroom all alone, and cry all night wishing I was a confident person like everyone else. And here I am still in the same situation still no job, and don't know what to do with my life. I have a boyfriend of nearly 4 years who I met through family and I now live with him. As for friends I don't have any as I'm terrified to go out and meet some, I have no contact at all with my parents as I left home without telling them 2 years ago, I really didnt get on with them at all, I believe they are the cause of my Social Anxiety, as a child I wasnt allowed to have friends, go out and play or anything like that, I used to get locked in my room, and get beaten up all the time, everything was always my fault, I got the blame for everything. I used to look out of my bedroom window and see all the other kids playing and wish I could go out and play, all I wanted was to be like everyone else. I was only allowed to go to school and that was it, I was 17 years old when I was first allowed out of the house alone (how bad is that). I really upsets me when I look back at my life over the years and realise that my whole life has been a waste. The only good thing that has happened to me has been meeting my boyfriend who I love with all my heart. I just wish that I could get over my Anxiety and be able to move on in my life. But theres no hope in me getting over it as I'm so terrified to go and see a doctor. I really need to go but I just can't.