Is this weird: I have anxiety in social situations but no fear public speaking?
- Thread starter zinc
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Helmaninquiel
Well-known member
No not really, if the attentions on me I'm screwed.. But I can be in public and be fine as long as nobody is talking to me.
Helmaninquiel
Well-known member
Well, when I was in public school people used to call me retarded, and stupid so that's probably the reason I'm not comfortable speaking up because I feel like I'm going to sound like a moron. but your probably just more confident with your intelligences. and as for the feeling uncomfortable at the bar maybe it's because it's not mapped out, like you said before the feeling of being out of control. In a bar you have no clue whats going to happen.
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Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
Zinc: I can relate to what you are saying. I am often quite good at one liners, and have little fear speaking out in large groups. My fears come mainly from holding conversation with anyone or speaking my opinion.
Zinc I can speak in a smaller or larger group too, or be on stage or such. It depends on the people and what you have to say, somewhat. At least for me. (I can have anxiety before also, sometimes, but it may be nonexistant while actually doing it or later.)
I think the difference is whether you are expected to say something and the environment is structured, or not. Like what Helman said.
And whether it's actually interesting, or not. I can get bored to hell with some 'bar conversations'... (My gorgeous cousin had one guy guessing her telephone number for ten minutes?!!)
There's at least one other guy here who is okay with being on stage and shy in RL.. I think many actors or musicians can be shy in RL too.. Partly that's what maybe draws us to acting and music.. To 'get out of the shell'...
I was more comfortable at parties after I read some stuff about how to act in such situations and had some 'scripts' or ideas to try.. I later realized I have nonverbal learning problems, so reading about stuff is EXTREMELY helpful to me!! I still don't go to bars much though, lol. It just feels like a waste of time, somewhat.. There are people who just never go, or rarely.. And they can be cool and gorgeous and have 'a life'... It was a big eye-opener for me when a girl just said, 'I don't go to parties much'.. She had a boyfriend and everything... (Maybe she didn't go because of that too, hmm? Some bfs can be a bit possessive, or afraid girls would meet other people then..)
Sorry, I'm rambling a bit. Thing is, as people with sp, we might think we 'have' to go to parties/bars/clubs and enjoy it there, there is no written rule though.. (And some of those 'fabulous partygoers' may get troubles with alcoholism or drugs or depression or even commit suicide later on. I've seen it happen.)
You can just go and expect to 'not have fun', and to just 'suffer through it, get yourself out there', not expecting anything or any 'fun' - and then maybe you just will!!
I think the difference is whether you are expected to say something and the environment is structured, or not. Like what Helman said.
And whether it's actually interesting, or not. I can get bored to hell with some 'bar conversations'... (My gorgeous cousin had one guy guessing her telephone number for ten minutes?!!)
There's at least one other guy here who is okay with being on stage and shy in RL.. I think many actors or musicians can be shy in RL too.. Partly that's what maybe draws us to acting and music.. To 'get out of the shell'...
I was more comfortable at parties after I read some stuff about how to act in such situations and had some 'scripts' or ideas to try.. I later realized I have nonverbal learning problems, so reading about stuff is EXTREMELY helpful to me!! I still don't go to bars much though, lol. It just feels like a waste of time, somewhat.. There are people who just never go, or rarely.. And they can be cool and gorgeous and have 'a life'... It was a big eye-opener for me when a girl just said, 'I don't go to parties much'.. She had a boyfriend and everything... (Maybe she didn't go because of that too, hmm? Some bfs can be a bit possessive, or afraid girls would meet other people then..)
Sorry, I'm rambling a bit. Thing is, as people with sp, we might think we 'have' to go to parties/bars/clubs and enjoy it there, there is no written rule though.. (And some of those 'fabulous partygoers' may get troubles with alcoholism or drugs or depression or even commit suicide later on. I've seen it happen.)
You can just go and expect to 'not have fun', and to just 'suffer through it, get yourself out there', not expecting anything or any 'fun' - and then maybe you just will!!
Funny, I'm exactly like that. I absolutely suck at making conversation... but I don't fear public speaking especially if it means I'd be speaking to a crowd of strangers I'll probably never see again (however, back in school when I had to talk in front of people I knew but never spoke to, I got nervous).
I never had a problem talking in class when I was in school- in fact there was one class where I was only one of three people who voluntarily spoke up in class. Presentations made me a little nervous, but I did OK since they were "scripted."
In general, I think I do fine when things are "structured"- like speeches, or answering questions (when I know the answer). Social situations never seem to have any rhyme, reason, or structure though.
In general, I think I do fine when things are "structured"- like speeches, or answering questions (when I know the answer). Social situations never seem to have any rhyme, reason, or structure though.