Is there a way to combat inexperience later in life?

[NightTimeForever]

Well, I will be 28 soon, and I wonder how I am going to combat dating/sexual inexperience at my age. Supposedly, I'm an attractive guy (who knows?), but I'm too fearful to approach women and talk to them. Any suggestions? Gah, I'll probably end up alone stroking my...beard (I might have to grow one out, now).

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I would try online dating. Or, if you can muster up the courage, going to a bar. Don't worry about your inexperience, it's not as important as you think and you'll quickly figure things out. Just get out there. Start talking to women.

 

[BigTom]

I have a couple of friends who are in the same position as you and I maintain the philosophy that there is someone for everyone and if its meant to be it will be... But put yourself out there every now and then, The results might surprise you

 

[Unspoken]

I think if you can combat the fear of approaching and talking, combating inexperience will be less important.

 

[NightTimeForever]

I would try online dating. Or, if you can muster up the courage, going to a bar. Don't worry about your inexperience, it's not as important as you think and you'll quickly figure things out. Just get out there. Start talking to women.

I'm trying to avoid online dating, at the moment. Just talking to women for no reason seems a little transparent.

I have a couple of friends who are in the same position as you and I maintain the philosophy that there is someone for everyone and if its meant to be it will be... But put yourself out there every now and then, The results might surprise you

Hehe, this doesn't sound too hopeful, or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

I think if you can combat the fear of approaching and talking, combating inexperience will be less important.

Overcoming the fear of talking and general communicating is probably the biggest hurdle. Don't know how to trick myself into thinking it isn't a big deal.

 

[Littlewilly]

:shyness:

I would try online dating. Or, if you can muster up the courage, going to a bar. Don't worry about your inexperience, it's not as important as you think and you'll quickly figure things out. Just get out there. Start talking to women.

:shyness:
That's easier said than done.

 

[BigTom]

That's just me, not very helpful most of the time but some times I come out with great ideas just not this time I guess

But seriously the guys come out with me to the pub and I would encourage them to just chat to women, no expectations no anything just see someone and talk to them, If it goes wrong then shake it off and try again later with someone else, It's all a matter of overcoming the fear of approaching someone, Easier said than done but once you get the hang of it you'll be flying... The dutch courage tends to help too but hinders more often that not!

 

[NightTimeForever]

:shyness:
:shyness:
That's easier said than done.

Very true!

 

[Ashiene]

I always wonder how do people just randomly go up to another stranger (especially a guy to a woman) and start talking when they have absolutely no idea who the other person is or what their interests are. It would seem stalker-ish, creepy and intrusive.

 

[NightTimeForever]

Well, in the past (when I had a job), I had women approach me (even co-workers, for trivial conversation). But yes, it does seem more acceptable that women can go up to men, but not the other way around. I don't think that is fair, but not much I can do about the mores of society.

 

[A Many Splendored Thing]

Inexperience doesn't matter.

You really just have to get out there and do it. Because even if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted, it won't affect future relationships.

Being rejected is no big deal.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I can't talk to people anymore, I found it extremely difficult the times I tried to meet people, or become romantically involved. I have been rejected every time and believe I don't need to waste my time on it anymore.
Instead, I watch my friends one by one distance themselves from me because of wives or fiances, at times its just "well I know where I stand", guess its reasonable to want to spend time with someone you have spent little time with in the past few days, than to spend a day with someone you havent seen in months.

 

[Ashiene]

Being rejected is no big deal.

Tell that to the majority of us here (and offline) who develop disorders such as SAD, AvPD, SPD mainly and primarily due to social rejection.

 

[NightTimeForever]

Even when a woman comes up and smiles to me, I mumble some excuse and walk away. That probably gives you some indication of my social skills.