Is it really possible not to care?

[Rumplestiltskin]

Is it really possible not to care what others think/say about you or how they judge you?

This is supposedly one of the main steps in getting over social anxiety, but I've never been able to enjoy this freedom when going outside. And the thing is, I don't think it's actually possible to forget about how the rest of the world sees you. I just don't think it works like this.

What I feel separates confident people from insecure people is the fact that the former think there's nothing wrong with them, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing people will make fun of. However, when you are absolutely convinced that you're laughable, when you know for sure that you're somehow ridiculous, then there's no way you'll be able to ignore this when putting yourself before all those countless scrutinizing eyes. And, of course, you won't be able to ignore the fact that you're laughable as long as you are laughable, which people will definitely be sure to remind you of every time you expose yourself out there.

So, is it possible not to care? Anyone here who used to care and doesn't anymore? How did you manage to achieve that?

 

[Earthcircle]

Honestly -- this is not a joke -- if you stop caring what other people think, then you are probably diagnosable as schizoid. So if you ever reach that level, you can graduate from here and move over to one of the schizoid forums.

 

[Lavinialuna]

I wish I could care what my loved ones think, and not give a rats rear about the rest. Now that would be perfect. But Earthcircle is right, it's normal to care. If you didn't care at all that starts a whole new crop of problems.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Is it really possible not to care what others think/say about you or how they judge you?

This is supposedly one of the main steps in getting over social anxiety, but I've never been able to enjoy this freedom when going outside. And the thing is, I don't think it's actually possible to forget about how the rest of the world sees you. I just don't think it works like this.

What I feel separates confident people from insecure people is the fact that the former think there's nothing wrong with them, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing people will make fun of. However, when you are absolutely convinced that you're laughable, when you know for sure that you're somehow ridiculous, then there's no way you'll be able to ignore this when putting yourself before all those countless scrutinizing eyes. And, of course, you won't be able to ignore the fact that you're laughable as long as you are laughable, which people will definitely be sure to remind you of every time you expose yourself out there.

So, is it possible not to care? Anyone here who used to care and doesn't anymore? How did you manage to achieve that?

For my experience and lifestyle personally, I find it almost if not impossible to try and not care what others say. The reason why is because they have more control over me, especially my family, which I have no choice but to just take anything they say to heart. I can't suddenly be disrespectful to people if I talk back to them because most would get easily offended if I say the wrong thing when really I was being honest about how I feel. I can't have my own opinion about what I eat, what movies I like, what actors/actress I like or don't like, what clothes I like/hate, and so on. I have no opinion and YET some people are actually disappointed in the fact that I keep them quiet but they are the ones who are always tormenting me. How on earth do people expect me to share my own opinions and thoughts to them when I am not comfortable around them. Yet even when I do make an improvement about myself that I have changed some things about myself, they go back and treat me like garbage. I don't understand it. And these are actually the type of people who treat me like garbage and who want me to speak to them. I wish they would all just leave me alone.:veryangry:

 

[Fighter86]

Very hard not to care what other people think. I care too much about what other people think of me.