Is Being Non-Negative Enough?

[aloserfish]

I've been trying out strategy a recently--eliminate all negative thoughts whenever I get them. It might sound kind of cliche, but actually I've found it a lot more doable than trying to "be positive."

Being positive, as in, actually forcing yourself to have positive thoughts, doesn't work for me because there's some part that knows I'm being artificial and grossly feel-goody. But eliminating negative thoughts (just cutting them off as soon as they start to develop and thinking about, oh I don't know platypuses instead) seems to work. I don't feel as bad as I used to about social things. But do I feel better about them? I'm not so sure.

I think eventually I might. Cutting out the negativity could be a path toward positive thinking, and becoming comfortable with yourself. And being comfortable with yourself is probably the key to social success. I just haven't gotten there yet. Seems like it might be a bit of a long, curvy road but hey, it only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress. So I'm gonna chalk this up to progress and see where it goes.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

In my case, I found that this helps as well. If the negative thoughts keep creeping back into my head that is when I replace them with rational thoughts. I might replace them with positive thoughts if viable.

 

[alanj]

I believe you have a good strategy there. Having read 'Stop Thinking, Start Living', this is exactly what I started doing and it yields definite results. Because people with SA are so negatively thinking, the jump is too much to start suddenly having great positive thoughts, but NOT dwelling and giving life to negative thoughts is a fantastic way of letting your true positive nature start to surface.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I think that it wouldn't be very realistic to believe that a person with SA can go from the extreme of thinking negative to positive from one day to the next. Not when we're so used to negativity that is has become a reality in our minds. It simply doesn't feel genuine to think positive no matter what. It's not very prudent either. Again, I will think positive if it's rational.

 

[coyote]

It's a process. Like quitting smoking - or any other thought/behavior changing action.

You have to keep working at it.

It only takes 21 days to break a habit.

That's a do-able goal.

Just 21 days of negative-free - and you're set for life.

 

[Feathers]

Cool strategy, a_fish!

I tried something like this yesterday, after I read about it online: to just focus on 3 things you'd like to be (eg excited, happy, calm) or remember from your childhood or happiest moments and wow!! It works.. Perhaps not always, ha ha.. They say to 'Practise it'...

Probably good to have a collection of things to think about! (I'm not very partial to platypus )

I've tried 'distraction' in more literal ways before: eg turned on the radio or read a book, replacing my own with other people's thoughts..
I like your strategy even better as you can do it without TV or radio too..

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

It's a process. Like quitting smoking - or any other thought/behavior changing action.

You have to keep working at it.

It only takes 21 days to break a habit.

That's a do-able goal.

Just 21 days of negative-free - and you're set for life.

That sounds like it would be worth a try.

 

[Feathers]

lol I just thought I couldn't do it - and then decided to think of PINEAPPLES!! LOL
(Due to the story thread! Ha ha)

Serafina do let us know if it works!!

 

[tweetebird]

Oh, thats a great idea aloserfish. I have always had trouble 'manufacturing' positive thoughts. Having the language of these positive thoughts, without the conviction and emotion behind it, makes them evaporate pretty quickly psychologically. But I think there is probably some benefit to simply stopping the negative thoughts. To expand on what alanj said, I think sometimes we overthink something to death, and put ourselves into a dizzy frenzy when sometimes the best thing to do (when we know that there is no real danger of course) is to just karate chop the thinking process, count to three, and just do it

You know, I am realizing that I have found a few methods that do help me with various aspects of SA, but that I don't put into practice on a long term basis. I guess its important to be persistent with something or else the bad thinking habits just return.

 

[Feathers]

'PINEAPPLE' (complete with pic! ) made me hungry, so I'll make a list of some non-eating related ones!

I think pictures work better for me, especially if they're connected with a (pleasant/excited) feeling!

(eg only food/non-food stuff I like! )

Do suggest examples that help!! (or work for you!)

Tweetebird, do share anything you might find useful!
I know a lot of these things too, and haven't done them on a consistent/daily basis.. only 'occasionally'.. so it would be good to come up with a 'structure' and a few ways that work...