Falkor
1
hey everybody
my school is okay, but i'm sad about intern ship.
i failed the first intern ship company because i was sitting in the toilet there for an hour and walked away cuz of an anxiety attack. and i was very insecure about all the mistakes i make. we were visiting ppl and i needed to set up a radiostation but i couldn't take any iniative because my boss wasn't telling me to do stuff. i was just standing and waiting. afterwards he said i should've taken iniative and help him, like all the other stagaires. i feel so stupid.
so that intern ship was quited by the boss. he thought i wasn't doing good there. i did build a website for him, and i was editing commercials for his radio station.
well, now i'm at an internship at a service desk, and i need to build computers. the problem is, is that the people there, never help me to start do stuff, i sit, and nobody tells me to do something, i'm afraid of taking iniative, and i feel like my whole life *****.
so what the hell am i supposed to do now?
they now changed my schedule to only 3,5 hours a day (the morning) and i'm at time out, a group where i can talk about stuff on the tuesday. but it's all ****ed up. i feel like, it all doesn't make sense
when i enter the room, i sit down, for like an hour, and they still won't tell me, while they do notice me (even the boss), until i ask them, what can i do? and sometimes even that doesn't get me any further because there are a lot of stagaires so they are working and i just have to ''watch what their doing''.
i do like the classical lessons on monday, i can work from the books, i can make assignments, the teachers tell me what to do. but on intern ship i fail.
how should i change my own behaviour?
i feel guilty and like a stupid wreck.
my school is okay, but i'm sad about intern ship.
i failed the first intern ship company because i was sitting in the toilet there for an hour and walked away cuz of an anxiety attack. and i was very insecure about all the mistakes i make. we were visiting ppl and i needed to set up a radiostation but i couldn't take any iniative because my boss wasn't telling me to do stuff. i was just standing and waiting. afterwards he said i should've taken iniative and help him, like all the other stagaires. i feel so stupid.
so that intern ship was quited by the boss. he thought i wasn't doing good there. i did build a website for him, and i was editing commercials for his radio station.
well, now i'm at an internship at a service desk, and i need to build computers. the problem is, is that the people there, never help me to start do stuff, i sit, and nobody tells me to do something, i'm afraid of taking iniative, and i feel like my whole life *****.
so what the hell am i supposed to do now?
they now changed my schedule to only 3,5 hours a day (the morning) and i'm at time out, a group where i can talk about stuff on the tuesday. but it's all ****ed up. i feel like, it all doesn't make sense
when i enter the room, i sit down, for like an hour, and they still won't tell me, while they do notice me (even the boss), until i ask them, what can i do? and sometimes even that doesn't get me any further because there are a lot of stagaires so they are working and i just have to ''watch what their doing''.
i do like the classical lessons on monday, i can work from the books, i can make assignments, the teachers tell me what to do. but on intern ship i fail.
how should i change my own behaviour?
i feel guilty and like a stupid wreck.
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