I'm terrified of women
- Thread starter recluse
- Start date
ripewithdecay
Well-known member
I'm afraid too, lol. I think part of the problem is that i've had a few girlfriends inthe past, but never just a regular friend that is female. So i think im afraid to talk to girls because then they might think im trying to hit on them... or if one talks to me i then wrongfully think she is after me! Always basing it on an actual relationship and not just friendship/aquantence. I think the trick of eliminating the fear is to stop thinking like they're all just girlfriend material (or something that you can never have) etc... and more just a friendly person to talk to
spectator
Well-known member
recluse said:
Welcome to my world! It's been like this for 18 years now and it's made me a very lonely, depressed person.
The only thing that scares me more than the typical girl who seems to dislike me is a girl who seems to like me. Usually I am so bashful they think I am rejecting them even though I'm just assuming that I myself have been rejected, and ironically I have a number of good female friends, and they all know this problem of mine. When you haven't felt love or been given love for your entire life while everyone around you is having sex and getting girlfriends, while every movie and every song is detailing the beauties of love and its role, the mind starts to alter in very strange and disturbing ways. I begin to feel like I'm missing out on something that's supposed to make me human. Consequently my heart becomes darker and my self more emotionless. I'm not even scared of death anymore. Scientifically the only point of existence is to reproduce, culturally to love. Since I am doomed to fail in those endeavours, I feel worthless. Sometimes I feel like leaving this country and becoming a mercenary somewhere in the Congo. Hate is so much simpler than love.
4seasons
Well-known member
My job is actually helping me so much with my SA, and i thought that my fear of small talk with people was over. But the other day i was on my break and i was the only one in the break room and i was sitting down just relaxing. This chick(really really hot) that works in another department comes in and sits right next to me. She could of sat anywhere in the room. My stomach just sank and i froze and it was the first time in months i felt that level of anxiety. I was so afraid she was going to try to talk to me, but at the same time i kind of wanted her to, just because i'm not confident enough to start a conversation with a girl like her. The way i see it is if i'm almost over one part of my anxiety this part is next, and i need to approach it the same way and find a way that forces me to talk to girls. If anyone has any suggestions i would appreciate it.
Thanks for starting this thread man, i was thinking about starting one yesterday but for some reason i didn't.
EDIT: quick question for the girls on here...if a girl is interested in a guy would she make an effort to talk to you? Or does she expect you to make the first move?
Thanks for starting this thread man, i was thinking about starting one yesterday but for some reason i didn't.
EDIT: quick question for the girls on here...if a girl is interested in a guy would she make an effort to talk to you? Or does she expect you to make the first move?
lonely_world
Well-known member
Why do you think they hate you ?
noone
Member
Hey I feel the same way too. It was about two years ago. I think I will never forget that disgusting moments. The teacher offered us tea and I got anxious again. Cos I have always been anxious when I eat or especialy drink sth in the the public. And there were two girls the same age as me who were trying to hide their laughter when my hands were shaking. Moreover one of them was laughing at me looking at my hands :evil: And there was a boy behind of us who is their friend( he is exactly an asshole :x ) He was also giggling. And then one of the girls asked me why I didn't drink it with the nasty laughter on her face. Shit! What a brazen fool! I wish I have told her off.
So now, I feel much more anxious than before if there is a girl near me. Despite being fairly handsome guy (not to boast , I heard that word mostly)even the way of I walk changes. I wish only to be myself but I can't. I always have a feeling that they are judging me as you know.
So now, I feel much more anxious than before if there is a girl near me. Despite being fairly handsome guy (not to boast , I heard that word mostly)even the way of I walk changes. I wish only to be myself but I can't. I always have a feeling that they are judging me as you know.
Richey
Well-known member
You have nothing to be afraid of ...i can see how in some cases if you've never had friendships with a female then they may seem alien to you ...girls often wear make-up and really doll themselves up when they go outside the house ...this can give off a feeling that they're trying to impress or show off a little ..and are normally much more emotional then guys are outwardly ...thats the only difference, and they keep their hair longer ..
that's about it ..
scratch the surface and realise they are no different to you ..similar thoughts ...different environments ..
only thing is, and this isn't always the case, i often find girls to be alot more superficial then males, thats only from my experiance, im not saying this happens everywhere ...
i think that superficialliaty and fussyness can be intimidating ...
that's about it ..
scratch the surface and realise they are no different to you ..similar thoughts ...different environments ..
only thing is, and this isn't always the case, i often find girls to be alot more superficial then males, thats only from my experiance, im not saying this happens everywhere ...
i think that superficialliaty and fussyness can be intimidating ...
spectator
Well-known member
noone said:
I'm sorry about that bro. I too had those sorts of troubles with girls back in school, I had a number of female bullies, no male ones though. I also get that feeling of being judged, just today I was sitting in a small lecture of about 20 people, for the past 10 or so times I haven't said a word to anyone other than the teacher and even that rarely, and this girl today said hi to me, and I looked in her direction, muttered a pathetic "hhh..." and then just looked down and she started laughing...it really sucked.
The good thing for people like us is that our hearts can't be broken if they haven't developed properly...
recluse
Well-known member
shon said:recluse said:
I'm more afraid of women too and I am one
Well there was two girls i was in school with and they used to laugh at me because i never spoke, but other than that i just have never felt confident talking to females in particular young ones around my age. I tend to feel more comfortable in the presence of older women probably because they are more like mother figures.
recluse said:shon said:recluse said:
I'm more afraid of women too and I am one
Well there was two girls i was in school with and they used to laugh at me because i never spoke, but other than that i just have never felt confident talking to females in particular young ones around my age. I tend to feel more comfortable in the presence of older women probably because they are more like mother figures.
I can see why they make you uncomfortable. I feel more comfortable around older women too because they're more mature and understanding. In high school, every (female) friend I had were bitches. They would sleep with whatever boyfriend I had or they'd just say nasty things about me behind my back so I never trusted them. I was never that kind of "friend" and I couldn't imagine treating anyone the way they did me.
hollie666
Member
recluse said:hollie666 said:were not that bad
how old are you?
xo
I'm not saying you are bad it's just the way i feel in the presence of women. I'm 26.
k kool im 18.
Try not to exclude all girls just find the ones that are easy going and wont make u feel uncomftable..theres plenty of nice ones out there
xo
ripewithdecay
Well-known member
recluse said:
Yeah i dont know what's up with that. I'm not trying to sound sexist in any way, but if i smile or greet a male when im passing by they generally respond in some way, just a harmless polite "hello"... but when it's a female there is nothing at all. No smile back, no hello, just ignorance. I hate to generalize it but i'm very stubborn and have tested this out for quite a while. Maybe females cannot see very well and i should get right up in their face with my smile, or whistle at them to get their attention first, i dont know what to do.
AsHLeY
Well-known member
whoa....all of you seem to know a fair amount of catty/vicious bitches! A lot of girls are like that in highschool because that's all they have to do ~ gossip, steal eachother's boyfriends, pretend their life is full of stress & drama and talk about anything & everything superficial! I'm not saying ALL highschool girls, so if any of you are ready to bitch at me, chill out ~ but half of them completely fit that description. Generally once the highschool days are over & girls need to grow up, they actually act like decent human-beings.
We're nobody to be "afraid" of though. Perhaps some girls you talk to feel just as nervous around you as you feel around them.
P.S ~ sometimes when a guy is socially awkward, like in the instance of spectator not fully being able to come out and say "hi," a girl will laugh cuz it's cute that you felt shy infront of her. It's weird, I know ~ but it's true.
We're nobody to be "afraid" of though. Perhaps some girls you talk to feel just as nervous around you as you feel around them.
P.S ~ sometimes when a guy is socially awkward, like in the instance of spectator not fully being able to come out and say "hi," a girl will laugh cuz it's cute that you felt shy infront of her. It's weird, I know ~ but it's true.
lonely_world
Well-known member
Hey Recluse, you are a young, good looking guy, don't give up ! Just because a couple of women were rude to you, doesn't mean all women are like that. Yes, alot of women are judgemental, insensitive, bitchy, but there are alot who are not, including myself. I would love to show you that women aren't all bad, but you first have to have confidence in yourself. Women have been mean to me too, but I don't hold that against all women, it's not fair.
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
recluse is a fucking women himself. Jesus Christ, the guy still hasn't grown up.