I'm such a Loser!

[Misfortune]

I'm a 42yr old single female who's suffering miserably from depression because of my life experience that was so pathetic.. I've been ridiculed & mistreated most of my life. In my past life I was always picked on at school, got hit by my parents a lot even as an adult. I've been back stabbed by people who I thought where my friends. I never experience a sexual relationship because I always get rejected ever since High School. Recently I was going out with a guy that I work with for a while thinking I was finally going to have a sexual relationship until I found out he was GAY! I was so devastated.. I'm 42 & I'm still living with my mother & sister. I'm a loner, I have no friends, no social life. :: I've never suceed in anything, always been a failure.. I've been through therapists but none of them helped me. I've become bitter, I ignore or curse people out whenever they get on my nerves, I developed a bitter attitude, I've become very unfriendly because of this BS I've been through in my life. I wake up every morning asking myself if I deserve to be alive. My life is filled with nothing but disappointment and misery. I don't know how much more of this I can take..

 

[redski]

Hey, I am sorry to hear it.
Know this there are many people here that have or had a similar
life to yours so I am sure you will find a lot of people to talk to that could give you advice.

As for me I am 29 living with my folks and have never had a relationship.
The older I get the more bitter and cynical I am becoming so I can relate to that.

Although I try to change I do face set backs often.

 

[Brokenx]

welcome to spw hun
i dont think you are a loser, you just have not had a chance, but you can start to feel better
stick around you'll meet lots of great people here

 

[mrb]

welcome to the forum , im sorry your lifes so bad , hey maybe this site can cheer you up a little lol , or at least find some good advice take care ... gary ..

 

[Noca]

Your life sounds really bad. If you can you should get yourself checked into a depression clinic. You can ask you GP for that. Once you get treatment for your depression you can begin to work on your bitter mood.

You are in a endless cycle, you are bitter cause you have no one, and you have no one cause you are bitter. Intense treatment with CBT and possibly meds can help you get on the road to a better life. You dont have to live like this.

You can always find support here and someone willing to listen to you.

Don't give up,

Welcome to SPW!

 

[bony666]

I'm a 42yr old single female who's suffering miserably from depression because of my life experience that was so pathetic.. I've been ridiculed & mistreated most of my life. In my past life I was always picked on at school, got hit by my parents a lot even as an adult. I've been back stabbed by people who I thought where my friends. I never experience a sexual relationship because I always get rejected ever since High School. Recently I was going out with a guy that I work with for a while thinking I was finally going to have a sexual relationship until I found out he was GAY! I was so devastated.. I'm 42 & I'm still living with my mother & sister. I'm a loner, I have no friends, no social life. :: I've never suceed in anything, always been a failure.. I've been through therapists but none of them helped me. I've become bitter, I ignore or curse people out whenever they get on my nerves, I developed a bitter attitude, I've become very unfriendly because of this BS I've been through in my life. I wake up every morning asking myself if I deserve to be alive. My life is filled with nothing but disappointment and misery. I don't know how much more of this I can take..

The only thing I can say is that it's never too late !! I know someone who lived the same things as you did, and who finally got married and got a wonderful baby at the age of 45 !!! she's very happy now.
Did you ever consider therapy, or any sort of professional help ??? everyone deserves to be happy

 

[Mikefly]

I'm a 42yr old single female who's suffering miserably from depression because of my life experience that was so pathetic.. I've been ridiculed & mistreated most of my life. In my past life I was always picked on at school, got hit by my parents a lot even as an adult. I've been back stabbed by people who I thought where my friends. I never experience a sexual relationship because I always get rejected ever since High School. Recently I was going out with a guy that I work with for a while thinking I was finally going to have a sexual relationship until I found out he was GAY! I was so devastated.. I'm 42 & I'm still living with my mother & sister. I'm a loner, I have no friends, no social life. :: I've never suceed in anything, always been a failure.. I've been through therapists but none of them helped me. I've become bitter, I ignore or curse people out whenever they get on my nerves, I developed a bitter attitude, I've become very unfriendly because of this BS I've been through in my life. I wake up every morning asking myself if I deserve to be alive. My life is filled with nothing but disappointment and misery. I don't know how much more of this I can take..

That in a sense sounds like me it's life just keep grinding the cards will fall your way sometime or another. Things can't always be bad. Don't let people push you around tho if you still do take a stand and don't put too much emphasis on sex, just get out more often and meet people in solid , healthy environments and good things will happen. Doesn't matter if your religious or not join a church if your not in one already just to meet more people and make more connections. What your saying sounds completely normal besides people hitting you as you were younger, don't let that keep you down tho you have to get past that, i know easier said than done huh.

 

[BrokenSailor]

Welcome to the site! I'm not very good with consoling people or helping them feel better. I'm sorry for for what you had to go through always remember the happy things in life. Bad things happen to all of us never let those experiences onteol how you live your life today. You're alive and breathing, cherish that gift.

 

[BrokenSailor]

onteol=control. Stupid cell phone!

 

[jdiane]

Are you a religous person? maybe going to church and being around positive people who are just glad to have you come to church might help. I've gone to church by myself and although I sit by myself, church members will come up to me and introduce themselves. That's the one place I can go alone but feel surrounded by love and acceptance.. have you tried that? You may have to search for a really good church though... some are full of politics... but there are a lot of really good ones out there.

 

[BlackKids]

Welcome

Sorry that things haven't gone your way but I'm a firm beleiver that if you want something you have to go out and make it happen. I hope I dont come across as a numpty as thats not my intention.

A quote from one of my favourite films "Tomorrow is the first day of they rest of your life"

I'm gunna post some info on the importance of positive thinging/ self talking when I get around to it. Look out for it

I'd would only consider someone a loser when they have given up.

 

[JumpRabbitJump]

Misery, I actually got onto this forum because I found your post and I wanted to answer it.

It sounds to me like you've had a lot of bad luck. It's obvious that your family isn't doing the right thing by you, and that you're not being treated well by people.

There certain places in the world where people have simply got violent minds that no amount of work will help them fix. If anything, they might be happy having you be their 'loser' so that they don't have to feel like they're at the bottom of the barrel. It's THEY who are behaving unnaturally, no matter how wrong they try to make you feel. And they will go on behaving unnaturally until you get tired of them. And leave them. They're not worth the pain.

The human being is a primate. While other primates generally occasionally intimidate and harass each other, they don't do it to the extent that I have experienced it from human beings. This is because most of them are unnatural and not at all trustworthy. Your natural desire is to avoid them as much as possible. Don't be conflicted but learn how to live with your distrust and you'll be better off. The toughest part is at the beginning. Just ask for help from God and he will give you the power to endure. Generally churches are just repositories for peoples' negativity, so if you want to poison yourself with them ask yourself whether you haven't been poisoned enough already.

'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not after you.'

 

[iamthenra]

I'm sorry that you are not feeling well.... Your life isn't any different from mine!!!