Believe me breh, I know exactly what you mean. I thought I was golden about a month ago and I read self help books too, not to downplay anything you can get better, but staying better is key. I realize that being fearful is a waste, we should only be fearful when it comes to immediate dangers, not thoughts of what others are thinking, they should never hold you back, and I try not to be. Also being positive does come from within, nobody else can make me or us happy, their judgements shouldn't matter at all becuase if you can't please everyone, people won't respect you and you'll never feel free becuase you're trying to coexist with everyone to get them to like you. I had a real positive mindframe for about a couple weeks, I was helping people who needed it and it was radiating towards others, becuase I got more attention but while I have different skills to cope now, I'm still lost in the dark. It's just so hard to live positive when the bad things seem to all pile ontop of eachother just when you feel yourself getting better then I think to myself....I'm not cut out for this
In my experience, consistency has been key to change. Its not just about how you feel on a particular day or at a certain time, but how do you feel about yourself on an average day to day basis. Reading a self help book is cool and always makes sense, but gradually and consistently applying the information is the difficult part. Just like jumping into a cold swimming pool, applying new methods for lasting change will be most difficult in the beginning, but slowly and with time and effort they will become second nature. The key is in doing it, regularly, whether you feel like it or not. Think of one thing you want to change about yourself that will make you feel happier, or accomplish whatever it is that you want to accomplish. Use whatever self help method that makes the most sense for you, and take just 30 minutes to an hour in applying that method in your life every day, for the next 21 days. Believe that it will work, and just do it. Write down your progress and thoughts about it as you stick with it. Hell, you can even make a thread on this site as a journal to keep you on track, and for support and motivation. Just ultimately do it, just one thing, one goal, and see how you feel. This can be anything...
For instance, this summer I decided to put on some serious muscle and lose some body fat. So I started doing P90x, 6 days a week. For the first 2 weeks it was absolute hell. I literally couldn't move after workouts, and my body would physically feel to drained and sore to do anything afterwards. But I stuck with it, and after the initial "plunge" I started feeling better than ever before. I kept working out whether I felt like it or not, blindly believing that it would pay off. I wrote down and kept track of my progress, and the results have been amazing. In the past 2+ months Ive put on about 12-15 pounds of muscle and noticeably lost fat. I started off with slight excess fat around my midsection and i now have a 6 pack, I started off being able to do 5 pullups, now I can do multiple sets of 16 - 20, etc. I will admit that there have been a few days that I have skipped, or slacked off. I also did not follow a strict diet plan. Nevertheless I did not lose track of my goal and I am still in the process of completing it.
The point I am trying to make here is that you can change yourself, whether it is your physical characteristic, or your mindset. The process will be very similar and it will most likely be challenging. More challenging at first, then gradually you will become better at it and it will get easier. Just know that YOU ARE cut out for this, everyone is. You are NOT a flawed individual, but a unique human being designed to succeed, and you will succeed. You can be happy, live positively, or do whatever. However, your success depends on your actions and your actions alone. Therefore, what you change and to what extent is entirely up to you. But you have to take action in order to do it. Not tomorrow, or in a week... Now. Neither I, nor anyone else can do this for you, we can only offer you advice, opinion, and encouragement along your journey.
So what is one aspect of your life that you would like to improve? It can be vague or specific, small or large. Think about it, post it, and myself or the numerous other users of this forum might have some information or resources that may assist you in what you're trying to accomplish.
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