Im so depressed and i have no friends and its killing me

Y

Yasmin965

New member
Hi guys. im a 26 year old girl and i've been through so much in my life. I was bullied at high school and got home schooled for about 4 years and developed depression, social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. I've been battling depression for years now, since i was about 16. Now it is becoming uncontrollable. I feel so down mostly all the time. I've just cut out my ex who made me happy but hes not good enough for me because all we did was argue and he is bad in every aspect. Now i've been feeling the most loneliest i've ever felt. I get panic attacks during the day and especially when i wake up. I feel very scared, i shake, my heart rate goes up and i cry so much. I don't have close friends i can talk too about my issues plus i wouldn't want to talk to my friends about it as i will give them a headache. I'm doing a hairdressing course and tried making friends there but i only made one friend but she cant see me all the time as shes busy with her husband and kids. Other girls at my course didn't want to be friends. I have guy mates i can vent too and hang out with but it still doesn't make me happy. I wish girls would put in effort to chat to me. I'm the only one who puts in most of the effort and they hardly do. Some don't even reply to my messages and some make plans with me then never respond to my messages :( Why me? why don't i have a group of friends like everyone else does? it's nice to feel cared for and loved for once but i never do :( my younger brother isn't close to me as he used to be. He has grown up and he calls me immature and annoying. We don't have much in common anymore. He has changed. I'm only close to my mum and dad but thats not enough. I feel like im in a cage and watching life pass by me and im not living it like everyone else. My brother has had his friends over for 6 days in a row! I don't understand. I don't see anything wrong with my personality. I know im a caring, nice girl. Im very pretty so could it be jealousy? or are people too busy with their own lifes? i've been thinking lately that suicide is the only answer to my happiness. I can't take this pain anymore and because of this im upsetting everyone around me please help and give me advice :crying:
 
LoyalXenite

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Yasmin965 said:
Im very pretty so could it be jealousy? or are people too busy with their own lifes?
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If this is reflective of how you speak it may be a little off putting to some people? From what I've seen people dont react well when a person refers to themselves as very pretty?

That being said, there might be nothing wrong with your personality at all, you may have just not found your people yet. Some people only click with certain people, maybe you havent found yours yet

I've also got depression, Social anxiety, Borderline and PTSD.. Its a shitty cocktail of mental health issues. All of them impact the ability to maintain and form relationships of any kind so perhaps look at how your symptoms impact to see if theres anything you can be conscious of when interacting with people?
 
fitnessbabe38

fitnessbabe38

Member
I don't think that you can have narcissistic personality disorder and social anxiety disorder at the same time. If you have NPD you can't have SAD it just doesn't make sense. I think you mean that you do have social anxiety disorder which has caused depression and you could also have borderline personality disorder as the symptoms are very similar and sometimes they co-exist. Have you been seeking help? If not, I think the best thing for you to do at this point is to make an appointment with a councelor or GP who will then refer you to a psycologist or psychiatrist who will then assess you and decide the best methods of treatment. Alot of times people won't seek help because they don't see the point but believe me when I tell you that if your anxiety is under control you will start functioning alot better in social situations.
 
desery

desery

Well-known member
Hi Yasmin.

I wish you become better already.

Be more grateful too with what you have.

I'm sure you have a better surroundings than me
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Yasmin965 said:
Hi guys. im a 26 year old girl and i've been through so much in my life. I was bullied at high school and got home schooled for about 4 years and developed depression, social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. I've been battling depression for years now, since i was about 16. Now it is becoming uncontrollable. I feel so down mostly all the time. I've just cut out my ex who made me happy but hes not good enough for me because all we did was argue and he is bad in every aspect. Now i've been feeling the most loneliest i've ever felt. I get panic attacks during the day and especially when i wake up. I feel very scared, i shake, my heart rate goes up and i cry so much. I don't have close friends i can talk too about my issues plus i wouldn't want to talk to my friends about it as i will give them a headache. I'm doing a hairdressing course and tried making friends there but i only made one friend but she cant see me all the time as shes busy with her husband and kids. Other girls at my course didn't want to be friends. I have guy mates i can vent too and hang out with but it still doesn't make me happy. I wish girls would put in effort to chat to me. I'm the only one who puts in most of the effort and they hardly do. Some don't even reply to my messages and some make plans with me then never respond to my messages :( Why me? why don't i have a group of friends like everyone else does? it's nice to feel cared for and loved for once but i never do :( my younger brother isn't close to me as he used to be. He has grown up and he calls me immature and annoying. We don't have much in common anymore. He has changed. I'm only close to my mum and dad but thats not enough. I feel like im in a cage and watching life pass by me and im not living it like everyone else. My brother has had his friends over for 6 days in a row! I don't understand. I don't see anything wrong with my personality. I know im a caring, nice girl. Im very pretty so could it be jealousy? or are people too busy with their own lifes? i've been thinking lately that suicide is the only answer to my happiness. I can't take this pain anymore and because of this im upsetting everyone around me please help and give me advice :crying:
Click to expand...
Hi, I wont bore you with what I have had to deal with, and yes at times I feel suicide is an answer. Sometimes I feel its the inevitable answer. But try to hold off from that as long as you can. Death is a permanent state.
Life can throw you a curve ball unexpectedly which can completely change your life.
For better or worse.
 
O

oNecoOlazN

Well-known member
^ you know the saying...Eventually life and ALL its sufferings will come to a complete end. Why not hold off till then?...also I feel I dont need friends
 
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