im feeling hurt

[Falkor]

OK.. so i quit school in october because i felt depressed, went to mental hospital because i was suicidal and now the result is that i am home.

i woke up at 1 pm today and its 3 pm and am still lying in my bed crying

i dont eat, drink or do anything

that's how depressed i am.

anyways..

the problems are that i :

1. dont know if i ever find a school again

2. my parents are sober mnded, narrow minded
they do NOT hear me

I NEED comfort, but they make it worse, i cannot deal with my parents
'
i really need LOVE , its like im begging for it almost

but the more i beg, the more they get disgusted by my behaviour

i have borderline so i have suicidal tendencies everytime i feel upset
so i am gonna take a xanax now, i CANT bear my emotions

i feel sick, from stress

what the hell should i do>

i am worried about my life, will i always stay in bed till im 80?

 

[dottie]

i am worried about my life, will i always stay in bed till im 80?

What are you doing to change this?

We all need love, it's true, but we can't rely on external sources as motivators to get our lives on track. For example, if only someone loves me then I'll _____, if only A,B,&C happens then I can _____. Decide that you are going to love yourself and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions. Easier said than done, particularly if you are in an enabling environment that is not conducive to this, but it's the only way.

Your family can't do it for you, a psychologist can't do it for you, pills can't do it for you, hospital stays can't do it for you. Only you can decide to take responsibility for your feelings and get your life on track.

I'm holding out hope for you because I used to be in a similar position.

 

[nothingmuch]

Hi, Falkor. Two ideas:

- You would probably be better-off not taking xanax because it's so addictive.

- Maybe meditation would help you insulate from your emotions? I don't know how to meditate yet, but supposedly it does that.

 

[Gieky]

Is there an animal shelter you can volunteer at? I don't know, everyone is different, but showing love to a creature who has been neglected can be very therapeutic. Plus animals, especially dogs, have so much love to give back and they are not judgmental.

 

[theslowesthand]

I'm sorry you are going through all this Saskia, it must be terrible i can imagine (i know as i've been thru my own "rough" times esp in last few years) :sad:

But here's some good tips for you...
• Cling onto any moments of hope you have (& to positives)
• Know that these "trials" are for you to learn from .. so are GOOD! (what's not good for hapiness/now, is good for eternal soul's growth)
• Be your own best friend
• Fill your mind with as much positives as you can (reading, learning, inspirational quotes, ...)
• Perhaps some deep inner-beliefs "work" could be highly beneficial??? (i can give you some the best links for; i really think such could help you)
• Perhaps you may need the "support" of a religion or belief system?

May God bless you, help you, and heal you...

 

[dottie]

I'm sorry you are going through all this Saskia, it must be terrible i can imagine (i know as i've been thru my own "rough" times esp in last few years) :sad:

But here's some good tips for you...
• Cling onto any moments of hope you have (& to positives)
• Know that these "trials" are for you to learn from .. so are GOOD! (what's not good for hapiness/now, is good for eternal soul's growth)
• Be your own best friend
• Fill your mind with as much positives as you can (reading, learning, inspirational quotes, ...)
• Perhaps some deep inner-beliefs "work" could be highly beneficial??? (i can give you some the best links for; i really think such could help you)
• Perhaps you may need the "support" of a religion or belief system?

May God bless you, help you, and heal you...

Can you post those links? I'd be curious to take a look...

 

[theslowesthand]

Can you post those links? I'd be curious to take a look...

The main one i have in mind is Ann Taylor's 21 Days of Healing & Prayer. It seems to be an all-encompassing, very comprehensive system. Haven't tried any such systems myself yet (does cost a fair whack), but feel i am getting quite near to trying one out fairly soon maybe .. perhaps this one.

Ann Taylor's system does appear to be very much God-based, which is okay, as its only in the materialistic Western world which has separated psychology/personality from theology/soul, in its various psychologies - but which actually belong together (ie holistic).

What has stopped me trying a system thus far is: cost, procrastination, forgetting about, fear (of unwanted/unknown consequences).
So it is "untested territory" for me, but i think if you do it all at your own pace, and pausing it when/if need, then i don't think much (if any) "harm" can be done. But if you're in a really desprate place (like Saskia), then i believe it's time to "step it up" somewhat, with the therapy/etc efforts, and perhaps try something new (i mean if all else has failed to date, then one has to then try somethingthey haven't yet tried before, perhaps in the "alternative" field, as opposed to the tried-and-failed "conventional medicine" field)

 

[theslowesthand]

Or something a bit less intense, but also seeems great, is Rikka Zimmerman

Can't find them now, but here's 2 audio products she had last year, which are about family/love/etc:

BODY - Smart in Reality Audio
How much disease have you put in place as the cry out for love from others that only you could give you? What if you are the only one who can answer your cry out for love? Can you be the keys to your kingdom? Do you know the love you can give you? What in this moment can be loving of you?
Length:10:13
Retail Price 3.99

BODY - Idiot among Idiots Audio
Who needs you to need them for attention? Who did you have to become to be loved and accepted? What have you bought as reality of hardship in your body from your parents? How can you be the infinite possibility of body so others know it exists? What have you always known about a healthy body before you took on any limitation?
Length:9:26
Retail Price 3.99

So, way more affordable (but now might be in other "package" products, as site has changed, which do cost somewhat more, but not as much as the Ann Taylor system)

 

[dallasthekid]

i feel you bro, i really hope you feel better. if you ever need anyone to talk to , you can hit me up

 

[Falkor]

Hi, Falkor. Two ideas:

- You would probably be better-off not taking xanax because it's so addictive.

- Maybe meditation would help you insulate from your emotions? I don't know how to meditate yet, but supposedly it does that.

I guess I am already an addict, I take it a lot, sigh. But I will try to stop taking them as often. It's just my life is one crap thing, so I simply sometimes don't care. But yeah, you're right, it's very addictive.

Meditation sounds like a good idea! thank you

 

[Falkor]

Is there an animal shelter you can volunteer at? I don't know, everyone is different, but showing love to a creature who has been neglected can be very therapeutic. Plus animals, especially dogs, have so much love to give back and they are not judgmental.

I love animals, i will see if they got something in my area.

 

[jaim38]

I agree with the SlowestHand. I think you need a plan for recuperation. I suggest starting at the spiritual (the innermost core being) and working outwards towards the emotional, mental, and physical. I think having at least a healthy mind is essential to your physical well-being.

Is there an animal shelter you can volunteer at? I don't know, everyone is different, but showing love to a creature who has been neglected can be very therapeutic. Plus animals, especially dogs, have so much love to give back and they are not judgmental.

This is what I'll be doing. Studies have shown that being around animals can have a therapeutic effect on people, not to mention some animals have amazing abilities such as being able to predict illnesses and earthquakes!

 

[Vampayah88]

I want to hug u right now. You're not alone. I know that feeling so well, sometimes I just want to stay in bed for days and sleep because im so down and feel so hopeless I don't have energy for anything. Other days im more hopeful, feel better, but then it's enough for smth to happen and suddenly make me go bk into the same sh*tty state.