I'm confused about something.

M

MadCat

Well-known member
Hey all!

I know this is pretty unrelated to SA/SP but I am kind of confused.

In the hunt to try to find out more about myself I have come to a bit of a hard situation to figure out.

I will explain my confusion below.

Am I right to think that the three are different or are they all basically same thing? I can't think too good and I am guessing someone who is more connected to these things would have a better understanding than me.

1) Cannot understand why people do certain social things
2) Cannot understand the social things people do.
3) Cannot understand the point of certain social things.

Ok, I think 3 and 1 are different. But what about the rest? My mind is telling me they are different but just want to make sure I have it right.

3 and 2 kind of sound like the same thing.

Need some help in figuring this one out. Last 4 weeks my mind has been on OVERKILL mode. Can't think straight anymore lol.
 
M

MadCat

Well-known member
Ok! I'm not actually sure I am making sense to myself either lol.

For example, someone tells me she is going to a party with friends.

I can't really understand how it can be enjoyable...I could never do those things but I wonder what makes a persons mind tick to be able to enjoy it. (This applies to 1 on my little list..maybe)

Then she comes home and tells me she is drunk and did it to piss off her boss.

Don't get that either. Point is? Why would a person want to take a depressant to feel good? Shouldn't it be the other way around? (This applies to 2)

Anyway I am confusing myself even more. Hope none of this sounds too cryptic :)

These two situations that another person does causes the 3 things on my list. Perhaps this is something I must answer myself? I seem to know what I am trying to explain but cannot get it out correctly, sorry.
 
J

jourjaune

Active member
I think I get it. And if I do, I'm the same way. When I was in school everyone always talked about things that I suppose a 'normal' teenager would be into and I was always like how come I absolutly hate doing those things. I try and try to pretend like I like them, but I just don't get it. :roll:
 
Chilling__Echo

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
yeah, to me, since we're all composed of the same shit, same chemicals and stuff in our brains, how can we be the same and still so different, especially how we gain happiness. i don't know. i feel like the minority at my college, it seems everyone and their mother go and get drunk (going back to your example) everynight and i can't stand to do that.
 
L

LilMissTragic

Well-known member
Its just like everything else, Some people like things we hate, we like somethings others hate. I myself am the loner type and and yet some people can't stand being on thier own. I suppose its the same for someone without SP, they probably think how on earth can we not go out and socialise. blah blah blah, now i'm losing myself...lmao.
 
ppaul

ppaul

Well-known member
my ramblings

take it from someone who used to be good at relating to people and striking up conversations with strangers..... (I've always been really worrried about other peoples opinions of me and had low self esteem but always used to just brave it in social situations and been successful)

only recently have thing become bad enough that I think i have SA.

Anyway, in answer to your question.......there are rules to socialising.

when you meet someone new you have have the boring shallow conversation because it gives you the chance to check eachother out....observe eachothers body language...se if there are any common interests....suss out the other persons demenour or emotional state.

When I sit and listen to a conversation people are having at a party I often think to myself "The information they just conveyed to eachother is meaningless and will not improve or effect the life of either one in anyway" for example if you go to a party and meet someone that you will never see again...and you learn that they are an accountant and they like fish....so fucking what! how has that enriched your life.

BUT thats not the point. the point is just to have communicated with someone. conversation is just something on the surface.

If you ever feel like nobody even knows you exist, imagine the opposite. imagine that everytime you walk down the street everyone sayd hi or nods their head or winks or something. theres not a lot of communication going on there but its nice to know that people acknowledge you and think " yeh there goes so and so"

WELL thats what the mundane conversations are for. Its just two people reckognising that the other ine exists and they get nothing more out of it. BUT sometimes they do.

The problem that we have when is that we dont want people to see these things. also we dont want to have a meaningless shallow conversation wih someone because we have more underlying issues we would rather talk about (or at least deal with).......this makes it hard to see the point in these stupid innane conversations about nothing.

the truth is most of the time people without SA know they are stupid innane conversations but they think its better to stick to conventional socialising rules.

wether we like it or not we have observe these rules.

If you want to get better I think you need to get used to the idea of boring conversations beacause the reward doesnt come till later. its risk taking and a lot of the time you will find that there is no reward. you will either find the person too different or you might even get rejected.... but then you have to accept this and hope you find a repour (sorry cant spell that) with the next person.

I have times when i go out and i socalise just fine. then other times i go red a sweat and cant talk. but for me the bottom line is i need to acpet myself rather than depending on other people to do it for me.

In regards to what you were saying madcat. If you accpet yourself with all your faults then you wont feel stupid doing and saying these things which dont seem to make sense to you.

shit , im really rambling here. sorry
its late and im not sure any of that makes sense at all.

ANyway Madcat,

I know how you feel.
 
M

MadCat

Well-known member
Thanks Chilling_Echo, LilMissTragic and PPaul.

I feel less odd than before.

Your post was very interesting to read. It's better to explain in more detail instead of just making it brief and harder to explain.
 
unleashed

unleashed

Well-known member
madcat do you find it difficult to put yourself in anothers position generally or just when it comes to the concept of socialising?
 
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