If you entered a romantic relationship, would you know how to love?

[Klonoa]

you can infringe on people's right to privacy.

That's just creepy.

 

[oddOne]

I was in a relationship for a while.. and he said he loved me. Showed it.. and we where good. But I always kept a safe distance emotionally. We broke up... and it hurt but I was ok because I didn't really allow myself to open up to him.

Usually, when people try to “relate” to me, I tend to obfuscate reality with a multitude of tall tales and BS. For me, this is a lot easier than ACTUALLY “opening up” to someone while at the same time satisfying both parties’ mutual desire to engage socially.

I immediately get suspicious when anyone is nice to me . . . which might have something to do with both sides of my “family” (maternal & paternal) being petty, wholly disingenuous, back-stabbing @$$holes . . . and THAT’s being generous…

Then I fell in love. This other person loved me too. It was amazing... I let him see me at my worst. He loved me first... and although I tried to pull away he didn't let me. Slowly I opened up and let him in. Then... he got tired of my "issues" and slowly started taking away what I loved about himself. I think subconsciously as a way to punish me. And that **** sucked. It became too painful. Until I think he just forgot about me and I faded... I should have never opened up.

While it might sound painfully cynical, most relationships ultimately boil down to a simple “give & take.” He may have felt that your “issues” were too much of a “take” and that you weren’t “giving” him enough in return. After a while, this imbalance (real or perceived) wore on him, eventually resulting in a sort of passive resentment toward you. Of course, this is only a hypothesis and that even the most impartial of human minds tend to be colored by at least some amount of confirmation bias…

 

[nodejesque]

I too get suspicious of compliments or people being nice. And thank you for your insight... its definitely food for thought.

 

[Earthcircle]

A long time ago, I seemed to know. But now I don't think I would. It would be such strange, unfamiliar territory. And I'm 48. It's hopeless.

 

[Severian]

I wasn't capable of it the first time round.

 

[this_portrait]

In my last relationship, I 'loved' (and I use that term loosely) too much, but I expressed it too little. I'm not sure if this will be the case when a new guy comes along. Chances are I'll probably have difficulty expressing love again, but as for feeling it too much, I think I might be too cautious for that now.