I worry I might become a pedophile

[kisslessloser]

Or a predator, you know a fully grown man that goes for 12-16 year old girls.
I truly fear that. I feel that they are the only ones on my level, or near my level of experience, some (most) even at that age will be more experienced than me though.
I frequently look at young girls on the bus, I see that they get uncomfortable and other people look at me like I'm sick. So I try not to do it, but it's hard. I don't really think about anything explicitly sexual, just going on a date and maybe kiss.
I won't do anything now, because I live with my mother (I make more money than her though) and don't have a car or licence - the things that girls expect from guys my age (25).
I just fear that if I do get more (a lot) money I might do something like that, buying young girls stuff etc. You know, like a classic predator.
Any thoughts, advice, experience?

 

[Xervello]

My advice would be to seek professional help. A legit professional might be able to diagnose whether your attraction is real or a symptom of something else. And, more importantly, whether it's something that could be dangerous to others. It's good you're self-aware about it and willing to speak out.

In my own personal opinion, someone willing to abuse others usually does so because they're repeating their own abuse. Which is wrong and evil no matter how tragic their life was. It's their damaged idea of what love is. However, someone attracted to younger people is, again my opinion, that person's misguided way of recapturing self-confidence. The thinking being, because this young person is less experienced, I by default, hold the power in the dynamic. It negates some of the embarrassment and awkwardness one might feel with someone their own age. It still isn't right. If one is an adult, they shouldn't take advantage of anyone who isn't an adult. No matter how mature the person may seem. My two cents worth.

 

[jmroszczak]

Dude..wtf?

 

[Daytona_girl87]

I understand what you are saying about you being on their level as far as socially or even on life experience, but my question is are you sexually attracted to a 12 or 13 year old girl? If you are sexually attracted to them you need to see someone right away. I was sexually abused as a young girl and still have so many emotional scars that at this point in my life I doubt will ever heal. You may not be able to control what you feel, but you have full control over your actions.

 

[unluckstuck]

I understand what you are saying about you being on their level as far as socially or even on life experience, but my question is are you sexually attracted to a 12 or 13 year old girl? If you are sexually attracted to them you need to see someone right away. I was sexually abused as a young girl and still have so many emotional scars that at this point in my life I doubt will ever heal. You may not be able to control what you feel, but you have full control over your actions.

I agree, maybe it's not sexual at all. Is it more about how you relate? I confident in my sexuality (straight) but I like people of the same gender in a way. Would I go as far as sex? No. Would I kiss them? Tried it, and no. I may know where you're coming from here. You want a date maybe but anything past that tends to just turns you off.

What I'm saying is be very careful because you're dealing with minors and people (as you've already experienced) don't take that lightly. I'm not telling you I think it is wrong or that you're sick, but I do agree that there's a chance that you may have some issues you need to work out.

Are you lonely? (I don't ask that to put you down or anything)

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Well, THAT's an attention grabbing title.

Just make this your desktop image and be a good boy.

 

[AtTheGates]

well if you're attracted to pre****scent girls then you really DO have a problem that you might want to seek help for. if you're attracted to teenage girls then thats understandable but just remember the legal age of consent is 18..unless you're in the bahamas..then the age of consent is 16 I think.

in this country you really shouldn't even be TALKING to a girl under 16 because people will almost instantly assume you're a creep or a predator ...so if your walking down the sidewalk and you see a group of teenage girls with their thong straps hanging out of the top of their jeans then just try to glance out of the corner of your eye instead of flat out staring.

 

[DeadSummer]

I don´t think you´re abnormal at all. You like young girls - and so what? IMO the vast majority of people in today´s world have some sexual deviations, but they accept it as normal. Women like women, men like men, sado-masochism, some dreaming of submissive roles, others of dominant, some people like way older or way younger partners, or have some fethishes or bizzare tastes.. it´s almost endless. Yet everyone is quick to raise their eyebrows if some men dare to like women of 16. You can´t help what you like can you?

I don´t think it would be wise to pursue them though, let alone do something violent.

 

[Odo]

I'm not a professional pedo-diagnoser or anything, but I'm pretty sure that pedos worry about being caught but not about hurting people or being monsters. They know they're monsters who hurt people, but they don't care.

I wouldn't get too upset about longings-- there's a huge difference between fantasy and reality and that includes people you see in public.

Your real problem seems to be a negative self-image.