I was shy and I lost him...

[Bugs]

Can you tell me your personal stories of how you liked somebody and he also liked you but you were always so shy that you can't even keep up in a conversation. But you know both of you were somehow happy. And suddenly, everything was gone. It's as if he got tired of you... he found someone more talkative and confident. What did you do? How did you cope with it?
*I'm a bit depressed right now. I'm blaming myself for being so shy. I regret everything, I thought I should have been more open, etc. But, I just can't. It's just the way I'm made... shy and quiet

 

[Razzlecherry]

I remember this one instance that happened Freshman year in High School. It was in a computer class and there was this girl that sat right next to me, a girl I was very much interested in. She was very beautiful and funny. She showed obvious signs of being interested in me, then one time she asked if I wanted to go out with her. I literally just froze up, shook my head and essentially ignored her. I felt terrible for it, but I was scared out of my freaking mind, I didn't know what to do. She actually asked again the next day and I said no. Most terrified I'd been in my entire life I think.

I don't think I could have fit that role of a proper manfriend and that's what scared me the most.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Hey, I'm sorry you went through this. Obviously, none of this is your fault, you can't help what personality you've been given. You didn't need to be more open to him in my opinion, you just need to find a better date and a person who is willing to understand what you're going through. Maybe he was the type of guy who likes outgoing girls better, but there are some guys who prefer shy quiet types too don't forget. Please, please don't try to change yourself. I'm shy too though and I'm trying to wait for a boyfriend who will understand my personality instead of him making me feel guilty I have a GOOD trait such as quietness.

 

[OCDd]

well, im a guy and i am attracted to girls, but ive never even been in a relationship, partly because i dont want to at the moment, partly because im shy with those kinds of things. its not a bad thing to be shy, a lot of people are witch is why i recommend if you can, finding a guy who is shy or who understands that and is fine with it. dont go off thinking you can be someone else that your not, they will find out and be disappointed. just be you and when you find the right person, you will no it because you will be you and not feel shy around them. just remember too they are probably just as shy as you are so keep that in mind. hope this helps you and good luck!

 

[truffleshuffle]

Can you tell me your personal stories of how you liked somebody and he also liked you but you were always so shy that you can't even keep up in a conversation. But you know both of you were somehow happy. And suddenly, everything was gone. It's as if he got tired of you... he found someone more talkative and confident. What did you do? How did you cope with it?
*I'm a bit depressed right now. I'm blaming myself for being so shy. I regret everything, I thought I should have been more open, etc. But, I just can't. It's just the way I'm made... shy and quiet

Don;t blame your self sometimes things just don;t work out. He had to know you were very shy. . I am the kind of person that can never read people well. Sometimes I think O she is into me and I end up being very wrong. Other times I think O well this woman is not into me and later on down the road I found out I was wrong about that I can just never tell if someone likes me or not. Its like my avatar Not sure if flirting or just being nice becasue I have no chance.

 

[drganon]

There have been a number of girls I was attracted to but never had the guts to ask out or even try to break the ice with. One notable case was a girl I liked at work, I didn't do anything to express myself, and a coworker asked her out and she said yes. On the other end of the spectrum, in high school there was a girl I liked and lets just say I was a little to obvious and it ended in disaster and misery for me. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't it seems. I should also probably start saying women instead of girls since I'm going on 24 now, but I still feel like a stupid teenager.

 

[jaim38]

In high school, I used to have crushes on several guys but I was too shy to ever make any advances. So, I let my crushes fade into nothingness. But, I am actually very glad I did! I have come a long way since high school, and I realize that those crushes are nothing more than silly infatuations! Many times, I only liked a person because of his height or his intelligence, and I blinded myself to his other traits (usually the negative ones). Looking back at this, I thought I was so silly at that time, to think that love is good looks or intelligence. I'm embarrassed of my younger self but at least I know better now.

 

[Lowlight]

I believe that I relate to you in a certain way. After re-reading what I have written it is a bit drawn out, but it is what happened.

It was back in the 7th - 8th grade of middle school. I was in a group of kids, both girls and boys, who were equally as awkward as I was. Back then I had the ability to tell jokes and make people laugh. I never spoke about myself or how I was so self-conscious. It would appear to an outside observer that I had all the confidence in the world when I really didn’t.

It was that year when one of the girls I associated with started to show interest in me. She would listen to me and laugh at all my jokes. After a short time she even started to dress like me, all gothed out. I can remember that one day when one of the guys we sat with approached me and asked if we could talk alone for a minute. Off in a corner of the gym he told me that the girl in question wanted to go out with me. I felt elated! I ran over to her and said, “Yes I will go out with you!”

Here is where the story gets shameful for me. From that point on I didn’t change how I acted toward her. I would only sit and tell jokes like I had done previously. I never took her to the movies or to the mall or even over to my house. I never talked with her on the phone, and I wasn’t very good at typing so we didn’t IM that much. I was so scared, so shy when it came to getting close to another person. The one thing we did together was go to the school dance. We both had our leather jackets and black attire on like the good little punk rockers we were. What did I do with her that night? Nothing. We just sat in the cafeteria and made awkward small talk. I didn’t dance with her, kiss her, or even hold her hand! That was the beginning of the end.

Over the summer between school grades there was a carnival in our town. We went together with a couple friends from school, but to my knowledge me and this girl were still going out. All of a sudden this guy who was in our grade showed up and started talking to “my” girl more than the rest of us. Even worse was that she was showing more interest in him than me. I realized with a heavy heart that she was interested in this guy like she used to be interested in me. I left the carnival feeling as lonely as I have ever felt. That started a period where in the rest of the year a chunk of my friends turned on me and started rumors that I was gay or impotent.

She was the only person who showed interest in me, and after losing her I swore off dating (not that I could get a date even if I wanted one).

 

[Lowlight]

I don’t really have any advice to give you because that was my only attempt at a relationship. What I can tell you is that time doe’s help make you forget. It sucks but you just have to say that what has happened has happened, and there is no way to change it. If you want to you can put yourself back out there on the dating scene, and more likely than not, you could find someone else.