Depressed4life said:
Its ok danfalc its not like any of this its your fault. I just don't see going to college, i see no future, no hope, no nothing. If i move out of the house what am i going to do by myself...i can't do anything. I got the job because of a friend of mine not because i fought to actually get the job. I don't even know directions very well, i dont even know what streets are around my house, i am confuse half of the time..i won't be able to drive because i don't know directions or anything. I am going to have to depend on my parents forever. I wish i was more like my sister, shes ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION FREE, all the jobs she got was because she looked for them, she stands up to people, and so on....
Thanks danfalc for being there for me.
Might not be my fault but i know how horrible it is to be stuck in a situation like yours and to see you so sad
Anyway yeah your friend got you the job.... but you still had to get yourself out of bed and go DO the job..
you still had to deal with customers and you still went even tho you found it difficult with the manager at first.You did that yourself.
I know none of this is actualy going to suddenly make you happy or less depressed,but when were this down we see everything negativley even when you should be proud of yaself.You seemed so pleased and happy when you started work despite everything
But you were dreading it beforehand... i reckon its gonna be the same with college.Its just your depression telling you.. its not worth it,and it wont make a difference ect ect
But im sure if you push yaself to go you will prove ya depression wrong,its not going to make everything perfect but its another step in the direction,and when ya go college and realise it wasnt as bad as you thought and your in a posative enviroment for a change,it will do your self esteem some good.Im ranting a bit.. (like normal lol) but im struggling to get out of bed at the moment and even have a shower ect.My depression makes me think... why bother... its not worth it and whats the point ect ect but i force myself to do it... and i do feel better and it is worth it.. cos i know my depression is just making everything seem hopeless even tho it isnt.
Anyway im not suprised you feel confused half the time,you have so much stuff going round ya head... it makes it hard to think straight,its normal when ya stresed theres nothing "wrong" with you.And try and stop comparing yourself to ya sister... were all different ya know and im sure you have plenty of things to be proud of you just dont realise it.
And no worries,im here anytime you wanna talk.Hope ur feeling better.
