I think I have AvPD

[Kevin T]

I'm 90% sure I have AvPD. I heard about it very recently but all the symptoms checked out, it was like reading a laundry list of my symptoms that someone else wrote.

Sensitive to criticism (though I try not to display it)
Extreme shyness
Feeling that I am worthless
Some mistrust of others, I always feel like they have a lower opinion of me than they say but I try not to display that as well. But I don't feel they are scheming against me.
Extremely self-conscious
Fantasy and escapism, I watch a lot of TV and read to avoid the pain of loneliness. I used to day dream a lot more than I do now, I still do to some extent but not nearly so much these days.
Very self-critical, I have a perfectionist streak in my writing (and in other aspects of my life, but not all) and feel it is bad and it probably is. Also my writing is probably part of my escapism.
I feel inferior to other people. When I am at family functions like at Christmas or the 4th of July I feel apart and alien, like everyone else belongs but I don't, even though I want to.
The two jobs I had did involve working with people and I was able to cope for the most part. The one I had the longest was for several years I was the only employee, a supervisor would come around once a week or so but I dealt with customers every day.
I usually imagine the worst outcome of a situation.

I saw other symptoms on different sites that don't sync with what I have:
Blaming people for my problems, sadly my problems are mostly due to my inadequacy and occasionally bad luck.
Putting other people down, I try to avoid that whenever possible. I have an aversion to hurting other people's feelings or seeing them hurt it makes me very uncomfortable.

I'm 36 years old with no friends and have never had a girlfriend and I doubt I ever will although I want so much to have one as well as friends in general.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I can check off everything on your main list myself, so you're not alone! Especially the one about family gatherings - I avoid them like the plague!

 

[dead24]

you're not alone im only 22 yrs old and we're very much alike. I also do a lot unintentional daydreaming and escapism i always just want to lie down and watch tv, play video games, internet because i get so exhausted from school. I always need time to recover and recuperate.

 

[Azael]

Hi Kevin, sorry you find yourself in this unique grouping. However, I will say that finally being able to identify your issue is the first and most pivotal step to recovery. You have to know your enemy before you can assess, plot against, and defeat them, so to speak. So I hope that now you can better understand your condition and hopefully begin your reccovery. It's never too late, and your strength of character has seen you make it thus far.

 

[zeniff]

Wow, since i knew (recently too) about AvPD it's like dettached off The Matrix. And reading your post it's like you're reading my laundry list of syntoms too.

You're not alone, and I hope we will finally overcome this situation. Hold on there!

 

[totoro]

eeek that sounds a lot like me. I know how you feel.

I found this website describes me quite accurately...which makes me think I might have AVPD rather than just SAD, although there is some overlap between the two disorders.

"People who are diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder desire to be in relationships with others but lack the skills and confidence that are necessary in social interactions. In order to protect themselves from anticipated criticism or ridicule, they withdraw from other people. This avoidance of interaction tends to isolate them from meaningful relationships, and serves to reinforce their nervousness and awkwardness in social situations.

The behavior of people with avoidant personality disorder is characterized by social withdrawal, shyness, distrustfulness, and emotional distance. These people tend to be very cautious when they speak, and they convey a general impression of awkwardness in their manner. Most are highly self-conscious and self-critical about their problems relating to others."

It is somewhat a relief to be able to put a 'label' on what you have; everything sort of makes a bit more sense? Now you can start working towards getting help, and while I recognise there is no 'cure' as such, I am hopeful that things can get better

 

[zeniff]

It is somewhat a relief to be able to put a 'label' on what you have; everything sort of makes a bit more sense? Now you can start working towards getting help, and while I recognise there is no 'cure' as such, I am hopeful that things can get better

That's what i mean, in those exact words! As I knew that there's a "label" for it, i become so relieved.

And look a this funny thing: As soon as I knew the label, i'm so eased that I've beeing more confident and proactive since that. Mind is so complex.

 

[sullyS25]

Welcome and you certainly aren't alone.....I just hope you don't use that label as an excuse to limit yourself from growing......It is pretty easy to do

 

[Phatboye]

Two questions on the AvPD issue:

Do i have it if i have all the characteristics mentioned above but seem to be extroverted in public? i tend to display these AvPD symptoms when it comes to people that are close to me, but when it comes to strangers i'm all bubbly and extroverted in a way. Am I a living paradox. a classic AvPD sufferer or a wannabe?

secondly, what effects has this thing had on your guys' lives? For me i get the sense that it hinders me from achieving my ambitions. there is so much stuff i want to do with my life, but i find myself not executing on any of the plans that i have. I thought it was laziness (which is a bit contrary to the 8 years i spent qualifying to be an accountant - that being the minimum time required), and then i thought i was a serial procrastinator (which i still think i am) and now i seem to fit (somewhat) in the AvPD category. i feel like i'm wasting a good life, and im trying to figure out where its going wrong and how i can fix it.

be cool to hear from you guys....

 

[bsammy]

^^avoidant personality disorder should also be called 'wasted life syndrome'..trust me when i look back at my life i see a wasteland.

 

[SPAlex]

After years of wasting my life one day my brother told me: "Hey, if you not change your life you'll become social phobic or something". I started reading about it and i was like "well, i have symptoms but its not exactly how i feel..."; when i read about AvPD i started crying.

P.D.: Im still wasting my life, of course XD

 

[bladeds]

I have OCD and think i might have AVPD, though i might have for the past year or so. When i read the list you put down, it is like looking in a mirror. I have read posts on yahoo answers with avpd and there lives seem so much worse than mine, maybe i dont have avpd or maybe I just deal with it a lot better?. I Use TV a lot to distract myself and it has worked very well for me. Just watching damages, watched louie , lillyhammer recently aswell now, last year I finished the wire, sopranos and six feet under. So pretty heavy watching. it basically my thing now.
You put your 36 and never had girlfriend. you never know, i have a friend who is 45 and just got married last year, he met the girl when he was like 41. so you never know.

 

[Aletheia]

I saw other symptoms on different sites that don't sync with what I have:
Blaming people for my problems, sadly my problems are mostly due to my inadequacy and occasionally bad luck.
Putting other people down, I try to avoid that whenever possible. I have an aversion to hurting other people's feelings or seeing them hurt it makes me very uncomfortable.

You sound very much like me, and you have my sympathy; it does suck.

But I've never seen these two symptoms listed anywhere for AvPD, and like you, they don't fit at all. I almost always blame myself. And the thought of hurting other people terrifies me.

 

[tinkerpunk5802]

Do i have it if i have all the characteristics mentioned above but seem to be extroverted in public? i tend to display these AvPD symptoms when it comes to people that are close to me, but when it comes to strangers i'm all bubbly and extroverted in a way. Am I a living paradox. a classic AvPD sufferer or a wannabe?..

That's pretty much how I feel. I seem to be extroverted around strangers and people I meet for the first time. But like around my friends, I'm super introverted. I feel so awkward when i go out with my friends because I don't know what to say or how to act. So I'm wondering if AvPD applies to me.

 

[Silatuyok]

Do i have it if i have all the characteristics mentioned above but seem to be extroverted in public? i tend to display these AvPD symptoms when it comes to people that are close to me, but when it comes to strangers i'm all bubbly and extroverted in a way. Am I a living paradox. a classic AvPD sufferer or a wannabe?

That's pretty much how I feel. I seem to be extroverted around strangers and people I meet for the first time. But like around my friends, I'm super introverted. I feel so awkward when i go out with my friends because I don't know what to say or how to act. So I'm wondering if AvPD applies to me.

I am the same way, but I think it still fits in to the AvPD description. I am extremely sensitive to criticism, perceived or real, but with strangers I rarely feel the pressure of being judged or criticized. It is only when a person starts to get to know me a little bit, at the point when they become an acquaintance instead of a perfect stranger, that my AvPD kicks in and I start to avoid and feel inferior. Strangers and the public in general do not know anything about my shortcomings or anxieties, thus it is easier for me to act like an extroverted person around them. But I am not, by any means, extroverted, so that is to say it is simply easier for me to "act" out the motions of extroversion with complete strangers.
BUT, if it is a stranger who is friends with/connected to someone that I know more personally, then all bets are off. Avoid at all costs!

 

[ykumar]

You are never alone. I realised that when i saw this site.
I always panicked at the feeling of bieng lonely.
I guess u have to accept this quality as gods gift for u and just hang in there

 

[anxiousnut]

Woah...this is me in a nutshell. And it kind of freaks me out. I don't want to have a personality disorder. It sounds so bad, but everything in that description is 100% me.

 

[Gaucho]

sure, i have this shi.t

 

[Silatuyok]

Perhaps this is a topic for a new thread, but I read this on wikipedia, explaining the difference between social phobics and AvPD:

"Unlike social phobics, who are aware of the irrationality of their phobia yet are unable to control it, people with avoidant personality disorder are unaware of or reject the idea that their fears are excessive and believe with full conviction that they are inadequate, unlovable, broken, etc."

I know wikipedia isn't the most reliable source of information, but I thought that distinction was interesting. I know my fears are excessive, but I would have a really hard time believing that I am socially desirable in any way.

Of course, that could just be someone's opinion about the difference between AvPD and social phobia, so take it with a grain of salt.