I think I am too dependant on people.

[HeadFace]

As in I always want to know that I have someone that I can consider myself best friends with. I always want to know that I have someone who considers me a priority. I always want to be reassured that I have a friend who cares and will always be here.
And it's messing with my expectations I have for people... But I dont know. It's so depressing when I know I dont have that someone to count on. I want a "best friend" who I can trust around the clock. That I know cares about me and will let me vent, and will try to help. Or at least be there to talk about my problems with me.

 

[Sprunk]

I generally try not too rely on other people too much,cause in my experience most people will let you down.Which is not really a productive way to think(according to my psychologist ).Though that is the way i feel a lot of the time::

 

[Bloir]

It is good to know what friends feel by us, but it is a problem when it is a obsession. If one have a security problem... Because everybody need his own space and we are not the only for someone.
The most important is loving yourself. When you get that, you will see like you dont need to be special for someone.

 

[Darryl]

G'day HeadFace,

We have a different type of "relying and dependablity" than everyday people.

Like you said, you need reassuring all the time, then the closer you feel to them the more often you need to feel reassured.

I'm not saying "no friends for you" I'm saying finding a balance.

The balance is to control SA while finding you and to have a friend/s give you a energy boost every now and then to push yourself with confidence.

Darryl

 

[Waybuloo]

People normally learn to become self reliant and dependant in stages from early childhood. If you can't self sooth then it's likely that you didn't have a stable environment to learn this important skill, or you didn't have people to make you feel safe and establish a good foundation for self love and care. You cannot change the past, but you can learn to sooth youself and develop a caring voice inside. I try to think about a best friend, I wouldn't want to say anything bad to her or about her, and when she needs me I would be there to comfort her. Think that you are your best friend. Only you can take care of yourself like no one else will. Sing a song, listen to music that gets you moving, or soothes you. Do anything that relaxes you or make you happy. Create happy memories to draw upon when you need to feel good. Treat yourself. The important thing is to know that it can all be changed, because the brain is that adaptable if you use the right part enough times.