anomicdeer
Well-known member
I am in a job program and I have to go there Monday - Friday. There are two females, I knew one from a year ago and a new one came when I wasn't attending during a break.
(edit) They are the supervisors.
The first one I'll call A and the second I'll call Cat.
Today I saw Cat doing a puzzle in a puzzle book. I LOVE puzzle books. I was able to find some for only a dollar and I bought a lot. I even bought one with me like I usually do in case I didn't get a computer. I even saw an oil burner that she had on. I think she even likes gardening. All that we have in common is probably enough to start a friendship.
:crying:
I didn't say anything though. I wish I wasn't so scared to talk sometimes. I would have told her I love puzzle books. I wonder what her reaction would have been.
A seems really nice and sometimes she even says bye when I'm leaving out. I think they both are pretty but the situation I am in right now, I probably look too poor and messed up to even be around them.
I think about, what if we were friends, I wouldn't have a car or anything to meet them. That would probably make me feel awkward.
I hate thinking of this because when I look at them they probably don't like me or think I don't want anything to do with anyone because I don't smile. I probably look upset or sad all the time.
I just wish I had to courage to even talk to them and smile.
I even sometimes wish they try to talk to me so that I can start talking to them.
I even feel awkward for thinking this way and what if they knew somehow.
I don't know.
I guess I do want friends sometimes but after not having any for pretty much all my life, it's weird for me to think about.
Today there was a class (which we don't have, that was just something A set up) about women abuse. There is a program for women where they can go there to get away from the abuse relationships. Anyway... That made me see that maybe they would care of I needed to talk to them about something. I just don't know how or if I should even talk to them about that.
They would just tell me to smile and talk. That is hard and that's all they people would say. Plus it's the fact that I would want to be THEIR friend. I don't really care about the other girls because some of them are too... ghetto or whatever to me. They probably do drugs and talk about people all the time and curse, etc.
A and Cat most likely aren't like that. They are probably people I would feel comfortable being with. They are probably the ones I would want to be friends with in school and they would want to be friends with me too. The kind that look at me and seem curious of me. I just don't know if that is actually true but they obviously notice me.
Well. I just wanted to get that out
I know I'll just walk away from that program one day and never get to have a conversation with them.
(edit) They are the supervisors.
The first one I'll call A and the second I'll call Cat.
Today I saw Cat doing a puzzle in a puzzle book. I LOVE puzzle books. I was able to find some for only a dollar and I bought a lot. I even bought one with me like I usually do in case I didn't get a computer. I even saw an oil burner that she had on. I think she even likes gardening. All that we have in common is probably enough to start a friendship.
:crying:
I didn't say anything though. I wish I wasn't so scared to talk sometimes. I would have told her I love puzzle books. I wonder what her reaction would have been.
A seems really nice and sometimes she even says bye when I'm leaving out. I think they both are pretty but the situation I am in right now, I probably look too poor and messed up to even be around them.
I think about, what if we were friends, I wouldn't have a car or anything to meet them. That would probably make me feel awkward.
I hate thinking of this because when I look at them they probably don't like me or think I don't want anything to do with anyone because I don't smile. I probably look upset or sad all the time.
I just wish I had to courage to even talk to them and smile.
I even sometimes wish they try to talk to me so that I can start talking to them.
I even feel awkward for thinking this way and what if they knew somehow.
I don't know.
I guess I do want friends sometimes but after not having any for pretty much all my life, it's weird for me to think about.
Today there was a class (which we don't have, that was just something A set up) about women abuse. There is a program for women where they can go there to get away from the abuse relationships. Anyway... That made me see that maybe they would care of I needed to talk to them about something. I just don't know how or if I should even talk to them about that.
They would just tell me to smile and talk. That is hard and that's all they people would say. Plus it's the fact that I would want to be THEIR friend. I don't really care about the other girls because some of them are too... ghetto or whatever to me. They probably do drugs and talk about people all the time and curse, etc.
A and Cat most likely aren't like that. They are probably people I would feel comfortable being with. They are probably the ones I would want to be friends with in school and they would want to be friends with me too. The kind that look at me and seem curious of me. I just don't know if that is actually true but they obviously notice me.
Well. I just wanted to get that out
I know I'll just walk away from that program one day and never get to have a conversation with them.
Last edited:
