I really need help

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Ammako

Member
hello everyone,i don't know this is the right forum or not. i just need someone to talk about my problems and understand how i feel (because my family don't want to understand). so I'm 20 years old from Indonesia,I'm not working or go to college because of my anxiety. and it's stress me a lot :crying:
My problems are every times i talk with new people (even with my friends) i become very shy and awkward. and when i talk with people i always fear to make mistake and always think "am i do/talk something stupid? am i boring?" something like that. And this is make me avoid to meet new people or in a social situation. Second,every time i have problems i always think too much and it make me anxious. and in the end i always run for my problems. FYI since I was a kid i always avoid or running for my problems,for me it's had to face it.
I already seek a psychiatrist,she said i have anxiety,little bit of social phobia and depression because i have no self-confidence. she give me some medicine and she said we'll have therapy called CBT. We already have 3 sessions but it's only once a month. i feel better in the first month,but after 3 sessions i feel that i don't make any progress. My question is, is it right we only meet once a month? i heard CBT is very tiring and you have to make bond with your therapist. How many times you meet your therapist? am I not avoidant? (because i always feel I'm an avoidant). Thanks for reading this,I really need someone to talk. And sorry for my english,hope you understand what I'm saying.:)
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I've haven't been to any therapy yet. But, hopefully some other members here can answer your question. My Social anxiety was also bad when I was 20. I would be scared to say anything because I thought people would think I was stupid. College was very tough.

But, after college, I lost that anxiety. I figured that people are no smarter than me (most) so why should I worry. I hear people make stupid statements all the time! And, if I do say something stupid, oh well! No one is perfect. I feel more free now to speak my mind!
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
It varies from person to person. I see mine once a week. We've just started and I already requested 2-3 times a week because I feel it's not enough. Have you tried requesting seeing the therapist more frequently? If you're not satisfied or comfortable with this one, I suggest looking for another. There are plenty out there and yes a good bond is important.
I can't say whether or not you're avoidant, but I wouldn't rule it out. You have some of the traits. Welcome to the forum by the way.
 
SoScared

SoScared

Well-known member
I would not say the CBT is tiring but it does take effort. I think that meeting once a week or once every two weeks would be usual. Every month seems too long. Do you get stuff to practice during the four weeks?
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
Once a month unfortunately is not very effective. I think you at least need once a week to see results. I go for therapy once a week, but if i could have someone to speak to everyday it would make things a lot better for me. it's a pity your family cannot help in the process by listening to how you feel.

here's a few links to help you understand more about avoidant personality disorder. it may help you to see if you are avoidant but it's better to get a formal diagnoses from your therapist.

PTypes - Avoidant Personality Disorder Criteria

Dual Diagnosis and the Avoidant Personality Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
Ammako said:
She just said that I have to change my mind set.. By myself. It's very hard sometimes I lost hope..
Click to expand...

That is very difficult to do by yourself. As far as I know the CBT involves you getting to understand your mindset first, when you get to speak to your therapist. The more time you spend in therapy the better it is to see patterns in your behaviour and to try and change them. But usually this doesn't happen quickly. It takes time, and effort to change habits that are causing you distress. But it can be done.

If you feel this therapist is not helping much or if they want you to do everything on your own perhaps it would be better to find another therapist.
 
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SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Hi! Welcome to the forum!

I'm hopefully going to be starting CBT in a few weeks' time, on a waiting list atm. But from my understanding of it, it does taken even if you went once a week for CBT to help change your mindset. If you're doing it once a month then I imagine it's very difficult to build on positive steps when your next session is four weeks away. Just see if you can ask for more sessions, if not, see if anyone else can provide them.

You've taken the first step to help with CBT, just push for improvements i.e seeing your therapist more and hang in there :)
 
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