I never seem to ever make anyone happy..

[Ecclesiastes]

I just want to vent my emotions out here a little..

As the title claims, it's true - I never seem to make anyone happy. Especially people close to me.

Idk why, but I just didn't feel like doing anything, I just don't feel like talking to anyone at all, especially my parents. And I have no idea why am I like that..

I don't feel like facing the world, I just want to hide myself away under my blanket and cry. I'm very unhappy with my life and there's nothing I can do to bring what I wish back. I just want to be alone on my own to bring my emotions back to normal.. but my parents especially my mom never seem to understand.

Everytime I hear knocks on my door I feel frustrated and I don't feel like opening it because I don't feel like facing them. It's not like they did anything wrong to me, I have no idea why am I like that.

To the world, I am just a living zombie. But to me, all I see myself in the mirror is a broken girl that's trying her best to pick up the little pieces.

I'm pretty sick of life actually, I don't see any meaning at all.

 

[spider04]

I have days I've feel like that, go outside and enjoy of the Nature, you'll find something

 

[dean01]

i can tell that all came from your heart and i understand your pain, things will get better in time. try to love yourself and others will love you, your parents probably just dont understand what its like, its a generation thing! at least youve joined spw im sure your make loads of friends

 

[Ecclesiastes]

I have days I've feel like that, go outside and enjoy of the Nature, you'll find something

Yeah, perhaps I should. But I think I may end up breaking down in public. I feel like there are lots of sorrow inside of me.. sorrows that has grown a lot inside when I was trying so hard to suppress them.

I always try to head out so I wouldn't think too much but finding someone to accompany me is really difficult. Which brought me even more thoughts whether I am important to my friends or not...

 

[Ecclesiastes]

i can tell that all came from your heart and i understand your pain, things will get better in time. try to love yourself and others will love you, your parents probably just dont understand what its like, its a generation thing! at least youve joined spw im sure your make loads of friends

Thank you for the understanding, not many people (physically around me) can :/ That's what I've been telling myself too, time will put everything in place again.

But of all, something you said really struck me.

"..try to love yourself and others will love you..

I think you've gotten the answer for me. But I hate myself too much to even try to love, I'm the worst of the worst.

Why friends wouldn't choose to come to me if they had the option ever since I fell into despair...

 

[dean01]

hey cheer up, knowing you smiled would make me happy your friends will come round in time, its just they probably dont know what to say, i have moments like that myself, do you?. its all part of life just stay positive and things will get better

 

[Ecclesiastes]

hey cheer up, knowing you smiled would make me happy your friends will come round in time, its just they probably dont know what to say, i have moments like that myself, do you?. its all part of life just stay positive and things will get better

I guessed it has always been people trying to cheer me up and nothing helps leaving them feeling helpless that's why they chose to walk away. Hey, no one likes gloomy friends don't they? Even the most patient ones got their limits too..

I guess I'll try to hang on, thanks..