I just got in the country, and its hard for me to settle down, feeling quite lonely.

MicroZim

Member
Hi,
I've been living here in the UK for a few months now and well its sort of hard for me to get around, socially. I came here to study in a university, most of my course mates are not as friendly as I thought they would. So every time I spend my break time I usually go in the library minding my own business and browsing cracked, and I'm always alone. Every. Single. Time. Even when I'm in my own homeland, I still feel a bit lonely, I thought to myself that I'm used to this sort of situation, but every time I think I'm going to get a bit crazy. I sometimes hang out with couple of people, but they're usually far away and I rarely see them, its hard really. I kind of wanted to meet new people ever since I arrive here but its a bit of a challenge really. I really want someone to talk to, whom I can chat with, most of the time I'm in my room playing on the laptop I sort of get a little def up after 12 hours of gaming, because I feel like I want to give up. Maybe it does have something to do with my physical appearance.

I forgot to mention that I'm Asian guy, I'm pretty short, and sometimes I feel embarrassed about having to see girls who are taller than me, because where I live they're about the same height or shorter. Let alone being vertically challenged, and very height conscious. I don't know if I can handle it, I'm not that strong or have the capacity to deal with it. Furthermore, I have this girl that I really like, but its hard for me to try ask her if she wants to hang out, every time I try to ask her she tends to have an excuse that shes busy having her friends over. I guess that's just a polite way to reject me. I guess I'm fine with it, I can handle rejection, but in the end I sometimes sob in bed listening to music. I'm a university student, but a part of me is still being premature, I don't really know how to explain it. I tried as hard as I can to be confident, but I usually ended up as a social outcast. I really miss my friends back in high school, but they live so far away, its that group where I feel so comfortable with. I just can't think of anything I should do. I try to ask some people to hang out with but every time its a bad timing, like they have something else to do, and after that I feel envious when people sometimes have a group picture of them having fun, while I'm in my room spending time just playing games. At times when I can't sleep, I usually go out on the streets to long board along the deserted road because I've no one to talk to and I guess this made me feel a bit better after just cramming myself in a room. I sort of wish there would be someone to talk to. I tried some social sites, but to no avail I still have no luck doing so, its kind of hard really considering people around tend to judge on looks, and I'm not that good-looking myself so I guess its just not my life then. I know some people have it worst, I'm aware of that, I've read peoples stories but I just need some help. I don't know if I can cope with this university life, when I'm away from my family and living out here.
 

Plan9

Active member
Your university experience sounds similar to how mine was (and that was in the same city where i grew up). I hated the whole thing but once I left my life was ok, so theres always hope. I don't have any advice as I messed the whole thing up, just wanted to let you know your certainly not alone in how your feeling.

What uni are you at?
 

MicroZim

Member
Your university experience sounds similar to how mine was (and that was in the same city where i grew up). I hated the whole thing but once I left my life was ok, so theres always hope. I don't have any advice as I messed the whole thing up, just wanted to let you know your certainly not alone in how your feeling.

What uni are you at?

I'm in the Birmingham City University, although the city is quite nice to live in just having a hard time with the social circle around here. I'm just doing what I have to survive, I try to think optimistically as humanly possible, it's okay I don't really mind having the reassurance of another human being, that's already good for me. Yeah I noticed from the threads here. Which city were you referring to?
 

Plan9

Active member
I'm from London (and so went to uni there) which is a great city but it's a big one so it's easy to get lost in it. It's been about 5 years since I was at uni and I don't miss it but I wish I had done things differently. I think hiding in the libary/halls was a mistake for me but some times you feel you have no choice.
 

Flanscho

Well-known member
If you like playing games, and if you also like board games, then join a group of people playing board or card games.

I went yesterday to a board game group, and had fun with nice people. Today I go to a movie evening. There are many possible events that you can have with other people, that don't evolve... I don't know... clubbing or something like that. Just think about what hobbies you enjoy and can share with others.
 

MicroZim

Member
I'm from London (and so went to uni there) which is a great city but it's a big one so it's easy to get lost in it. It's been about 5 years since I was at uni and I don't miss it but I wish I had done things differently. I think hiding in the libary/halls was a mistake for me but some times you feel you have no choice.

It is a great city, but I find it a bit stressful sometimes when comes to social places being a little too hectic, and the crowds not that I'm saying I'm agoraphobic, but somewhere where there's a little peace and quiet would be nice too! Which university was it? So I'm assuming you've taken a post-graduate degree as well? I try to find opportunities that can have a better impact to my current situation right now, but I guess I'll just try and stay patient.
 

MicroZim

Member
If you like playing games, and if you also like board games, then join a group of people playing board or card games.

I went yesterday to a board game group, and had fun with nice people. Today I go to a movie evening. There are many possible events that you can have with other people, that don't evolve... I don't know... clubbing or something like that. Just think about what hobbies you enjoy and can share with others.

Yeah I like video games, same with my old friends back then, so we usually go around online at a certain time to have a group game online, but I'm just trying to seek out more of a face-to-face interaction. That sounds really great but I don't see as much of that here really. I've tried clubbing, it wasn't really my scene at all since it wasn't really a place to have a chat with somebody (loud music, dancing etc.) I have joined a group of people playing European football, but then it doesn't seem like its active anymore, it was fun, although I wish I was a bit more talkative that time. Thanks for your reply.
 

Plan9

Active member
I went to City university, no post grad as yet, i'm not really academic really. I should do one at some point, I have no reason not too. The thing is I like to do hands on work. I'm not a fan of crowds, hate clubbing.
 

MicroZim

Member
I went to City university, no post grad as yet, i'm not really academic really. I should do one at some point, I have no reason not too. The thing is I like to do hands on work. I'm not a fan of crowds, hate clubbing.

How long does it take to finish a major there? Yeah you could go for it, but it all depends on your choice. Whats your current occupation right now? Same here, It's not what I had in mind if I want to meet new people though.
 

Plan9

Active member
3 years (took me 4 because I was having seriouse issues at the time). Now i'm a 1:1 tutor for children with autism and behaviour problems. It's a graduate level job but not an amazing one, I enjoy it though.
 

MicroZim

Member
3 years (took me 4 because I was having seriouse issues at the time). Now i'm a 1:1 tutor for children with autism and behaviour problems. It's a graduate level job but not an amazing one, I enjoy it though.

Mind if you tell me what happened? Or is it something confidential to share over here? For how long have you been working as a social worker?
 

Plan9

Active member
A variety of things, I was just very unhappy and not coping with how I was feeling. Also I had cut myself of from a lot of things and people. Made some seriously bad choices and drank far too much. However I got over all that :)

I've been a tutor for 3 1/2 years, got an interview for a promotion next week, not sure how it will go.
 

MicroZim

Member
A variety of things, I was just very unhappy and not coping with how I was feeling. Also I had cut myself of from a lot of things and people. Made some seriously bad choices and drank far too much. However I got over all that :)

I've been a tutor for 3 1/2 years, got an interview for a promotion next week, not sure how it will go.

How are you feeling now? That you are out of there? How did the promotion went?
 
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