I have absolutely no positive qualities.

[¿¿¿]

I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, so forgive me if it isn't. Anyway, I came to the realization recently that I don't think I currently have a single positive quality about me.

I'm a late-teenage college student, and I've been asocial for as long as I can remember. I've only had a handful of friends over the course of my nearly two decades on this planet, and I've never been in a romantic relationship (although I don't particularly mind). I have always had trouble interacting with people and come off as an awkward hermit. I wouldn't be surprised if some have interpreted my lack of social skills as simple rudeness -- I probably seem unwilling to socialize, when the reality is I simply don't know how to. I also think I might have botched my relationship with a new friend by being dysfunctionally awkward two days ago. I've recently realized how pathetic all of this really is.

I spend the overwhelming majority of my time in my own home, browsing the Internet probably about 60% of the time, playing video games 25% of the time, and doing nothing for the remaining 15%. I've never really made an effort to change this, either; I'm simply too scared to attempt to get to know people.

In addition, I'm unhealthy, unattractive, lazy, overly tall and thin, unmotivated, unintelligent, have almost no physical strength, possess no talents, and am generally useless.

I used to attempt to convince myself that all of this was okay because there was one quality about me that was positive -- I'd always done relatively well in school. I had decent grades, a decent SAT score, some AP credits, and enjoyed a decent amount of praise from both teachers and students for my academic abilities.

However, I seem to have suddenly lost even that quality in the transition from high school to college. In my first semester I did an okay job -- a few As, a few more Bs, which was disappointing, but I figured it was passable for my first semester. However, now, in my second semester, I'm fairly certain I've utterly destroyed my chances of even achieving Bs in any of my classes. I'd always procrastinated in high school, but today it's far worse -- I do my work in the few hours before it's due, or not at all. I have trouble staying awake in certain classes. My recent test grades for nearly all of my classes have been in the C-D range. Even though I know I should, I have absolutely no motivation to study -- I never had to in high school. If I get lucky and make some serious, drastic changes immediately, I might be able to manage straight Bs. If not, I'll be getting Cs and Ds. I have no idea what I'd tell my parents if I were to get even one single C, but I know for sure they'd be truly disappointed. As of now, I haven't told anyone about any of this because it's far too shameful; I'm the only one currently aware of my failures this semester.

I honestly hope this is just a phase, a mental issue that'll work itself out, but I've also been wondering if I might have somehow suddenly become irreversibly cognitively impaired. In all my life I have never done this poorly academically. Either I've suffered some sort of sudden brain damage or I have some psychological issue. I'm hoping it's psychological because at least there's a possibility of that being remedied, but if it's some sort of sudden cognitive impairment I honestly have no idea what I'd do with myself. The last thing I would ever want to do is live my entire life as a leech without making any significant contributions to society.

What should I do? I know I can't continue like this, it's far too pathetic; but I don't know what, if anything, I should do.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

The fact that you dont want to live your entire life as a leech without making any significant contributions to society... is a positive quality. You could easily just not give a ****.

You arent cognitively impaired or damaged, although psychological disorders and issues can impair your quality of life and ability to live that life and damage your self-esteem and self-image.

It wont just go away, doubtful. I thought that when I was 19. Im 25. At 20-22 I was doing better because I made an effort, and stoped avoiding and other things. Then came crashing back down. Not until pretty recently have I started the road back to recovery.

There's much you can do. Learn more about S.A.D and AvPD, consider telling someone, parents? Seek school's help? Should pay for school health, you can talk to counselor and they can refer or psychologists are on campus usually depending.

You aren't alone. Others here will post much better advice on what to do than I can give. =) It's hard to find motivation at low points, for a while I was in same boat with grades and drifted in college. By posting here; you're starting a first step to reach out for assistance, that's good. Seems like you're TRYING find motivation to change; figure out what's more wrong.

Attitude/perception is key, CBT, mindfulness, relaxations, all aim to change negative and apathetic feelings and habitual avoidance etc. However from my own experience, consistency is key, garnering the motivation for it all is difficult until forced to. Why I really want to seek a real therapist.

 

[sullyS25]

Well I am very sorry you feel that way and I know how it feels. I once heard the term "cesspool of human waiste" in a song and thought it was a good description of me. That was bull**** and so is what you are saying.

You are asking what you should do and I think changing the way you view yourself is a start. I realize that is hard to do but if you see yourself as having no positive qualities that is how you will appear to others. I used to have high blood pressure at 23, I was huge! Now I'm at a healthy weight. All I am trying to say by telling you this is that every "negative" characteristic you mentioned about yourself can be changed or you are distorting reality and it really isn't negative. So you have had a difficult time adjusting to college courses, so what man you will get used to the work load and things will get better if you have the right attitude. At least you are in college and you aren't some drunk or drug addict stealing and orbegging people for money so you don't get sick and can get the next drug fix. At least you have the opportunity to get an education. You are in college and that is positive, you have a place to sleep at night, you have a computer and internet or access to them.

I think you need a change in perspective and attitude. That takes work but anything worth while requires work. There are therapists, motivational books, spirituality, religion and many other resources that can help you with this if you are willing to do the work.

 

[geekyloaner]

ok I have felt that way my entire life almost didn't graduate high school, didn't finish navy term due to SP I quit under certain circumstances, and I got divorced do to choosing a homosexual women not her fault she was awesome still is. I have found out that I am 5' 9" and balding before the age of 25 and still have issues with my niche in life. Seems to be depression has gotten to your grades and you need to fight and tell yourself out loud I am the awesome person I was when I was a kid. I have realized this and my comment shows how I am living. I reread my barenstien bears in a tent and watch who framed roger rabbit countless times. We need to still keep that action as a child up. So if you get depressed watch some old cartoon draw with crayons. Just have fun sometimes technology can get the best of us. The great part is I am old enough to be able to do the things i want to do as a child. when I was 17 my parents bought our first computer, I got my first cell phone when I was 18 and got married and divorced before I was 20 I was forced to grow up so fast that I didn't have time to really experience my child hood. By the time I was 12 I was working making money for my family. I can cook clean and have a moderate view on life. I am good at very little things and can not for the life of me get my grammar down correctly. I have issues, but I am in control not some supreme being. I am and no one else I do what I want with in limits and thats what growing up is teaching everyone. We all have different life plans. Here is some questions to ask yourself.
! What is your dreams?
@ What Do I want To be when I grow up?
# I may want to have kids in my future do I want to be a dad who is at work all day or be a dad who wants to love and care for his child?
$ What are my wishes?
% Who am I and who am I the most like?
^ Should I make Goals off of my Dreams?
& What do I want to study?
* I am awesome! So why am I depressed?
( I am a brain with eyeballs! What do I want to Wear today?
) I am quiet so what do I think about?
These questions can go in any order and may take an infinite amount of years to figure out or accomplish. WARNING NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKING SERIOUSLY THESE QUESTIONS ARE SERIOUS. I have different ones I had to replace some because i answered them. It may sound crazy, but write it down ask yourself out loud and talk to yourself about it. Always bounce off someone you can trust they could be on here or they could be in real life. Its all up to you how your answer sheet will be so think and it may happen if you act on these things. Some of my wishes have come true. The questions though should be in your means of existence for now. Don't make a question you cant answer. i.e. Why can't I fly around space visiting monsters well sadly we aren't on that time line yet I will live long enough to see this though a harsh statement but you can if you think it. doesn't mean it will appear out of thin air. If you make a concrete plan and enact it then yea it will work. has so far for me. so yourself it helps.

 

[¿¿¿]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I can't stand the idea of letting anyone know about this. I'd really rather not have people thinking something is wrong with me (even though something clearly is) and taking pity on me or treating me differently because of it.

If I must seek help, I'd like to find some some way to keep it as absolutely private as possible -- between me, the doctor(s), and nobody else, but I don't think that's even possible.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

It's difficult to see the positive qualities when one feels down about oneself.

 

[geekyloaner]

It's difficult to see the positive qualities when one feels down about oneself.

Wow well put I have never said it that way my mind jumbles it up due my anxiety which I am having now looks like its going to be a fight for mania tonight. Come on arakawa distract me

 

[sullyS25]

Oh, I forgot to mention that I can't stand the idea of letting anyone know about this. I'd really rather not have people thinking something is wrong with me (even though something clearly is) and taking pity on me or treating me differently because of it.

If I must seek help, I'd like to find some some way to keep it as absolutely private as possible -- between me, the doctor(s), and nobody else, but I don't think that's even possible.

That is completely possible. The doctor has to keep things confidential or he could go to jail. A lot of them cost money and you might have to get that from your parents or someone else but that is worth it! My university offered free counseling services and only the therapist i talked to and the group i was in knew about it. THey were all sworn to confidentiality under the law. It is possible.

I know you arent seeking out pity and am not criticizing you by any means but the thread you just started evokes the feeling of pity in almost anyone that reads it.

You can change, it is worth the uncomfortable feelings like being pitied or viewed differently. All I know is that you have to do something different and sometimes out of your comfort zone to change. Saying "I want to change and be different and happy" and not doing anything to bring about that change will result in nothing. It is so worth it and I suggest you at least give it a try

 

[Surrogate]

First of all, you need to have some kind of dream or goal to acheive. It will give you the motivation you require, because right now it seems like you're at a standstill in life. What is it that you desperately WANT in life? Always keep a picture of that in the back of your head, when you feel that nothing is working well at the moment. Refer to that picture and keep telling yourself that one day you will accomplish what you dream to do, but in order for that to happen you must bite the bullet and endure the present.

Be truthful to yourself, everyone has something that they are good at. You said that you spent a lot of time at home and on the internet/gaming. Without doubt, I can probably guess that you know quite a bit about the online world, and about the latest everything regarding games or technology. This is already something positive that you're good at! There are different roles in society that need to be filled, and if you compare yourself to your friends, the people in the media, or even the members of the family that you're jealous of becoming, you will never find your true self.

In addition, I'm unhealthy, unattractive, lazy, overly tall and thin, unmotivated, unintelligent, have almost no physical strength, possess no talents, and am generally useless.

Unattractive.. how could you possibly judge your self, attraction is based on the OTHER's person's thoughts, and not yours (unless you're attracted to yourself )

Unmotivated.. you came here and wrote up this big post, to some random stranger in hopes for some advice. If you don't call that being motivated to do something, what would you call it?

Unintelligent.. as far as I can see, you're able to use the English language very fluently, and you seem to be quite sane, so no, you are not unintelligent.

The rest of the things in the short line that I quoted, they're easy to change if you put your heart to it.
Unhealthy? Work out, exercise, do something instead of sitting at home all day. You can exercise in the comfort of your room too, you don't need to go out to do that.
Lazy? Stick to your words and do what you mean to do. Don't make any promises you can't keep, and conversely keep all promises you make.
Overly tall and thin? Being tall is a good thing bud, and your weight can easily change depending on the exercise you get and the food you eat.
Have no physical strength? This relates to low self esteem. A weak mind corresponds to a weak body. That, or you might not be getting enough sleep. Lastly, generally useless? GO DO SOMETHING, don't be useless! Help someone out, whether your neighbour, some stranger down the street, or a youth group/volunteer work. Contribute to your community, family and friends. You won't feel useless afterwards.

I just singled out one little sentence that you wrote, so it's up to you to figure out the rest. Best of luck to you

 

[superfluouslyme]

I used to attempt to convince myself that all of this was okay because there was one quality about me that was positive -- I'd always done relatively well in school. I had decent grades, a decent SAT score, some AP credits, and enjoyed a decent amount of praise from both teachers and students for my academic abilities.

I did the exact same thing growing up. I was just an amorphous blob with good grades. When I got to college, I started to struggle as I watched people I was almost certain I was smarter than fly by. Good grades don't necessarily equal intelligent and vice versa.

Do other people tell you these things? Do people actually come up to you and say, "Dude, you're unhealthy and unattractive." Or are these things you tell yourself? If there is one thing that everyone on this board needs to do, it is give themselves a break. I think there is a rather large collection of kind, intelligent, interesting people on here and you seem to be one of them. I used to be very hard on myself. I still am sometimes. But between my medication and therapy sessions, I'm learning to love myself for the first time, acknowledging and accepting my real faults and debunking the self-perceived ones.

Anyway, we've all had these feelings at one point. It's important to realize where those thoughts are coming from and work to straighten out those thoughts. Good luck! Remember, we are always here.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Are you deaf? Are you blind? Do you have any missing arms or legs? Do you have a life threatening disease? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food to eat?

I can guarantee that some people don't have it as good as you. There is always plenty to be grateful for. Spend a few minutes each day giving thanks for what you do have and then you will quickly forget what you don't have.

 

[deleted user 1]

I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, so forgive me if it isn't. Anyway, I came to the realization recently that I don't think I currently have a single positive quality about me.

I'm a late-teenage college student, and I've been asocial for as long as I can remember. I've only had a handful of friends over the course of my nearly two decades on this planet, and I've never been in a romantic relationship (although I don't particularly mind). I have always had trouble interacting with people and come off as an awkward hermit. I wouldn't be surprised if some have interpreted my lack of social skills as simple rudeness -- I probably seem unwilling to socialize, when the reality is I simply don't know how to. I also think I might have botched my relationship with a new friend by being dysfunctionally awkward two days ago. I've recently realized how pathetic all of this really is.

I spend the overwhelming majority of my time in my own home, browsing the Internet probably about 60% of the time, playing video games 25% of the time, and doing nothing for the remaining 15%. I've never really made an effort to change this, either; I'm simply too scared to attempt to get to know people.

In addition, I'm unhealthy, unattractive, lazy, overly tall and thin, unmotivated, unintelligent, have almost no physical strength, possess no talents, and am generally useless.

I used to attempt to convince myself that all of this was okay because there was one quality about me that was positive -- I'd always done relatively well in school. I had decent grades, a decent SAT score, some AP credits, and enjoyed a decent amount of praise from both teachers and students for my academic abilities.

However, I seem to have suddenly lost even that quality in the transition from high school to college. In my first semester I did an okay job -- a few As, a few more Bs, which was disappointing, but I figured it was passable for my first semester. However, now, in my second semester, I'm fairly certain I've utterly destroyed my chances of even achieving Bs in any of my classes. I'd always procrastinated in high school, but today it's far worse -- I do my work in the few hours before it's due, or not at all. I have trouble staying awake in certain classes. My recent test grades for nearly all of my classes have been in the C-D range. Even though I know I should, I have absolutely no motivation to study -- I never had to in high school. If I get lucky and make some serious, drastic changes immediately, I might be able to manage straight Bs. If not, I'll be getting Cs and Ds. I have no idea what I'd tell my parents if I were to get even one single C, but I know for sure they'd be truly disappointed. As of now, I haven't told anyone about any of this because it's far too shameful; I'm the only one currently aware of my failures this semester.

I honestly hope this is just a phase, a mental issue that'll work itself out, but I've also been wondering if I might have somehow suddenly become irreversibly cognitively impaired. In all my life I have never done this poorly academically. Either I've suffered some sort of sudden brain damage or I have some psychological issue. I'm hoping it's psychological because at least there's a possibility of that being remedied, but if it's some sort of sudden cognitive impairment I honestly have no idea what I'd do with myself. The last thing I would ever want to do is live my entire life as a leech without making any significant contributions to society.

What should I do? I know I can't continue like this, it's far too pathetic; but I don't know what, if anything, I should do.

Nobody is literally useless, nobody literally has no positive qualities. And trying to find selfworth through achievements also fails, that was another one of my many stupid moments! If you cannot recognize your God given value as a human being, then nothing will do it for you.

 

[DangerEchidna]

I'm just gonna jump in real quick and say the title of this thread would make an awesome title for a +70s/-80s punk song.

Carry on.

 

[dead24]

I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in, so forgive me if it isn't. Anyway, I came to the realization recently that I don't think I currently have a single positive quality about me.

I'm a late-teenage college student, and I've been asocial for as long as I can remember. I've only had a handful of friends over the course of my nearly two decades on this planet, and I've never been in a romantic relationship (although I don't particularly mind). I have always had trouble interacting with people and come off as an awkward hermit. I wouldn't be surprised if some have interpreted my lack of social skills as simple rudeness -- I probably seem unwilling to socialize, when the reality is I simply don't know how to. I also think I might have botched my relationship with a new friend by being dysfunctionally awkward two days ago. I've recently realized how pathetic all of this really is.

I spend the overwhelming majority of my time in my own home, browsing the Internet probably about 60% of the time, playing video games 25% of the time, and doing nothing for the remaining 15%. I've never really made an effort to change this, either; I'm simply too scared to attempt to get to know people.

In addition, I'm unhealthy, unattractive, lazy, overly tall and thin, unmotivated, unintelligent, have almost no physical strength, possess no talents, and am generally useless.

I used to attempt to convince myself that all of this was okay because there was one quality about me that was positive -- I'd always done relatively well in school. I had decent grades, a decent SAT score, some AP credits, and enjoyed a decent amount of praise from both teachers and students for my academic abilities.

However, I seem to have suddenly lost even that quality in the transition from high school to college. In my first semester I did an okay job -- a few As, a few more Bs, which was disappointing, but I figured it was passable for my first semester. However, now, in my second semester, I'm fairly certain I've utterly destroyed my chances of even achieving Bs in any of my classes. I'd always procrastinated in high school, but today it's far worse -- I do my work in the few hours before it's due, or not at all. I have trouble staying awake in certain classes. My recent test grades for nearly all of my classes have been in the C-D range. Even though I know I should, I have absolutely no motivation to study -- I never had to in high school. If I get lucky and make some serious, drastic changes immediately, I might be able to manage straight Bs. If not, I'll be getting Cs and Ds. I have no idea what I'd tell my parents if I were to get even one single C, but I know for sure they'd be truly disappointed. As of now, I haven't told anyone about any of this because it's far too shameful; I'm the only one currently aware of my failures this semester.

I honestly hope this is just a phase, a mental issue that'll work itself out, but I've also been wondering if I might have somehow suddenly become irreversibly cognitively impaired. In all my life I have never done this poorly academically. Either I've suffered some sort of sudden brain damage or I have some psychological issue. I'm hoping it's psychological because at least there's a possibility of that being remedied, but if it's some sort of sudden cognitive impairment I honestly have no idea what I'd do with myself. The last thing I would ever want to do is live my entire life as a leech without making any significant contributions to society.

What should I do? I know I can't continue like this, it's far too pathetic; but I don't know what, if anything, I should do.

im almost exactly like you.