I have a new crush, please help!
- Thread starter Endymion
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agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
Harleyq
Well-known member
Don't be silly, there's nothing to be sorry for, and therefore, nothing to forgive
This is probably your first try ever, or at least in a long while, right? It's ok if it didn't go as planned the first time, most things never do go the way we want the first time around. It just means you'll have to try again, maybe with another girl when one comes along.
Why
Well-known member
no the saddest thing is: i never even tried, we just sorta stared at each other during break. Luckily i was sittin by my frend so i didnt seem like a complete weirdo
come to think of it, i dont think ive ever been rejected by a girl =_= and idk why im so scared to just talk to them randomly
come to think of it, i dont think ive ever been rejected by a girl =_= and idk why im so scared to just talk to them randomly
Harleyq
Well-known member
That's ok. You'll have plenty of opportunities. Not approaching her was pretty much what I figured had happened. I meant this is probably your first try in a long while to decide you were going to talk to a girl, regardless of whether or not you did it.
She isn't going to automatically disappear and she won't be the last girl you feel attracted to. Just keep focused and eventually you'll get the nerve to say hello and maybe make small talk, and then if that doesn't work, at least you can know you got past the 2nd hurdle (the first being your overall decision to try), and you can move on to improving your choice of words.
Baby steps
Harleyq
Well-known member
Re: I am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak save me!!!!
I don't know what to say to someone you've never really talked to previously as class is leaving...I don't think that's the best way to start talking to people unless something in class was interesting and you can say "So, what'd you think of _______?" But you have all those openers and ideas at the beginning of this thread, which I think are still fully usable.
You're just letting the anxiety prevent you from thinking straight. Try some relaxation techniques - breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, etc. You can do breathing exercises (inhale deeply through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, exhale slowly through the mouth) in public and people won't notice.
Go over possible topics before you enter the class...school, compliments, turtles, asking for her advice on movies/music/etc. so you can remember them better and maybe you won't blank out again.
I don't know what to say to someone you've never really talked to previously as class is leaving...I don't think that's the best way to start talking to people unless something in class was interesting and you can say "So, what'd you think of _______?" But you have all those openers and ideas at the beginning of this thread, which I think are still fully usable.
You're just letting the anxiety prevent you from thinking straight. Try some relaxation techniques - breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, etc. You can do breathing exercises (inhale deeply through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, exhale slowly through the mouth) in public and people won't notice.
Go over possible topics before you enter the class...school, compliments, turtles, asking for her advice on movies/music/etc. so you can remember them better and maybe you won't blank out again.
Harleyq
Well-known member
Re: I am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak save me!!!!
Oh..well good to know you were calm, or at least that you saved the emotional attack for SPW lol.
I don't see how they aren't appropriate, it just sounds like you're second-guessing yourself. As I said, I think maybe they aren't appropriate when you're about to leave class but they sound fine to say to anyone before class starts.
TURTLES lol.
I was fine, I was pretty calmed down and relaxed, I just did not know what to say to her. All I did was put my arms over my head (like a moron) and just stare at her while she looked the other way. She was kind of looking at me with the corner of her eye but wouldn't give me a straight look.
I thought of such openers but to be honest, I dont think they're appropiate or its just me. I just didnt open my mouth, SHE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME
Thanks or your help
Oh..well good to know you were calm, or at least that you saved the emotional attack for SPW lol.
I don't see how they aren't appropriate, it just sounds like you're second-guessing yourself. As I said, I think maybe they aren't appropriate when you're about to leave class but they sound fine to say to anyone before class starts.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
okay with the myspace thing... i'd just friend request her and be like "hey, you're in my ______ class, right?" ...she will most likely answer you with SOMETHING other than just "yeah", so maybe that could help you with your opener right there.. sometimes i'll randomly send a friend request to a cute guy on my "people you may know" list (lol) and then if they end up being like "heyyy, do i know you?" and i really don't know them, i'll just say "aw no sorry, you were on my 'people you may know' list and i must have thought you were someone else! sorry!" haha, no harm done.. most times they'll accept anyway.... i do the same thing, too, if someone requests me and i don't know them (and they're local and not a psycho spammer retard, haha), i'll just message them "hey do i know you?" ...like we all already know, the internet world is MUCH easier.. maybe this could be a good start..... also, when was the last time she was on her myspace? make sure you check that date, haha, she could just use facebook or something and disregard her myspace these days, you don't want to obsess and wonder why she hasn't answered you, lol
Harleyq
Well-known member
Re: I am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak i am weak save me!!!!
Well, I've had times where I thought I was completely calm and then suddenly the people around me are telling me to relax and not be so tense, so I think it's possible to have the anxiety without feeling nervous. IDK if that was your case or not but it's a possibility.
Do you have myspace? Why don't you send her a friend request with a message like "Hey, I was surfing myspace pages and noticed you're in my _____ class." People friend request eachother for no other reason than because they recognize them all the time so I don't think you'll come off as weird or anything. Then if she accepts, you have a double-advantage because then you can go into class with new openers like "Thanks for adding me" and maybe talk about stuff she has on her myspace page.
And good luck with the job, btw.
I just have to say them! That is my problem. But if it was anxiety, would I have been nervous? Because I was not nervous at all, I just did not know what to say.
Another thing, I came in late today because I came back from a job interview and got caught up in traffic. Next class, Wednesday, I will go in on time.
Thanks again Harleyq for your help
Ok, so another thing. I have her myspace now (which is in private). I just checked the default photo on a full scale and it is definetly her *drools all over keyboard*. What should i do? Should I message her? If so, what do I say??
Well, I've had times where I thought I was completely calm and then suddenly the people around me are telling me to relax and not be so tense, so I think it's possible to have the anxiety without feeling nervous. IDK if that was your case or not but it's a possibility.
Do you have myspace? Why don't you send her a friend request with a message like "Hey, I was surfing myspace pages and noticed you're in my _____ class." People friend request eachother for no other reason than because they recognize them all the time so I don't think you'll come off as weird or anything. Then if she accepts, you have a double-advantage because then you can go into class with new openers like "Thanks for adding me" and maybe talk about stuff she has on her myspace page.
And good luck with the job, btw.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
well it wouldn't be weird if you said she was on your "people you may know" list, haha.. i use that one randomly... and anyway, that's why you message her and say "aren't you the girl from my ____ class?" ..whatever, if you don't want to do that it's totally fine... if you can't come up with anything at the BEGINNING (lol) of class to say, then sure, maybe just be totally honest and tell her you're shy and you've been wanting to talk to her... i don't know what else to say, bud, like hq said, all those openers are still fully usable, you just gotta DO IT good luck wednesday!!
good luck wednesday!!
Harleyq
Well-known member
well it wouldn't be weird if you said she was on your "people you may know" list, haha.. i use that one randomly... and anyway, that's why you message her and say "aren't you the girl from my ____ class?" ..whatever, if you don't want to do that it's totally fine... if you can't come up with anything at the BEGINNING (lol) of class to say, then sure, maybe just be totally honest and tell her you're shy and you've been wanting to talk to her... i don't know what else to say, bud, like hq said, all those openers are still fully usable, you just gotta DO IT
agree with this 100%
It would kind of make sense if you got a new myspace account and she was one of the people you friend request...the whole point of myspace is to network socially and you're obviously going to try to network with people you recognize so...
Everybody who has a myspace had to start somewhere. The only way it would be weird is if she were the only person you friend requested.
hydrapower
Member
Whenever I have previously talked to someone in my class and didn't actually introduce myself the next time I see them I like to say "hey I didn't catch your name the first time" and reach out and shake hands (soft handshake if it's a girl). Then you might proceed with the "hey do you like turtles" thing.
It helps if you mentally rehearse conversations beforehand. I do that all the time even with people I don't get nervous around. It's more like "oh hey I want to tell so-and-so about blah" and then go over the story in my head so I'm not choppy or blanking when I'm actually telling it.
I think it's better if she gives you her name/myspace/whatever first so it doesn't seem as creepy. You could just innocently say "hey do you have myspace?" *whistles*
I also wouldn't totally spill your guts about your crush. That would probably seem like too much way too fast and you'll probably scare her away. You could just have a normal conversation with her at the end of class and smoothly segue that into "hey want to grab a bite?"
Also once you get her name make sure you say hi to her each day. Since you have classes together you'll get many more chances to talk. And don't worry so much about it! Everybody has days where they clam up/blank out/whatever. I was just at a wedding where I was sitting at a table with a bunch of people of various ages and genders and couldn't think of a darn thing to say. So after more guests arrived I got up and went to talk to the people I actually knew.
It helps if you mentally rehearse conversations beforehand. I do that all the time even with people I don't get nervous around. It's more like "oh hey I want to tell so-and-so about blah" and then go over the story in my head so I'm not choppy or blanking when I'm actually telling it.
I think it's better if she gives you her name/myspace/whatever first so it doesn't seem as creepy. You could just innocently say "hey do you have myspace?" *whistles*
I also wouldn't totally spill your guts about your crush.
That would probably seem like too much way too fast and you'll probably scare her away. You could just have a normal conversation with her at the end of class and smoothly segue that into "hey want to grab a bite?"Also once you get her name make sure you say hi to her each day. Since you have classes together you'll get many more chances to talk.
And don't worry so much about it! Everybody has days where they clam up/blank out/whatever. I was just at a wedding where I was sitting at a table with a bunch of people of various ages and genders and couldn't think of a darn thing to say. So after more guests arrived I got up and went to talk to the people I actually knew.
Why
Well-known member
In my opinion
one of the hardest things to do (at least for me) is to start a random,sporadic, pointless conversation with people. i see normal ppl do it ez but i just cant do it. So i always try to find a purpose to talk to some1 (thats why I chose a cute lab partner and we chatted decently) Once i overcome the fear of starting a convo randomly, i think my life will change in a much more positive way. But yea so many times i sit next to cute girls on the bus, and we both just sit there lol and steal glances off each other.
one of the hardest things to do (at least for me) is to start a random,sporadic, pointless conversation with people. i see normal ppl do it ez but i just cant do it. So i always try to find a purpose to talk to some1 (thats why I chose a cute lab partner and we chatted decently
) Once i overcome the fear of starting a convo randomly, i think my life will change in a much more positive way. But yea so many times i sit next to cute girls on the bus, and we both just sit there lol and steal glances off each other.
gsmax5
Well-known member
lol, if it were me, I would have probably misspoken and said "Those are some kickass b00bs!!!"
Harleyq
Well-known member
lol! my boobs are pretty kick-ass. They're gangsta' even. They'll cut a b-tch. And then throw up gang signs. And maybe some of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b24zOi6idgw&feature=related