I hate university... rant

[Jeepster]

Next week is my last week of university classes. This was my first year, and I was horribly disappointed. I guess I thought once I left high school, any social problems I had would be ironed out a bit because I thought there'd be less cliques, less he said/she said, etc. etc. But instead I just feel totally excluded.

Granted, I'm living off-campus in my hometown. I don't even have enough money to transfer So ya, it's partially not my fault that I haven't met a lot of people but the thing is...

In university, you are literally supposed to be drinking, going out to clubs and parties, hooking up, and stuff. But for me, that's never gonna happen, and I really feel like I have trouble relating to people my own age. I don't want to have random sex with some guy!!

I've been to parties (not at university) and they're ok, but I don't like them any more than say, meeting someone for lunch and chatting. I just don't really care about partying and clubbing, and everyone else does, and waaaahhh!

Also I haven't met any guys at all. I thought I'd maybe meet a few, even just to be friends (I've never had a boyfriend or even a single date!) but I haven't. Well sorry to rant, but I've been feeling very lonely for weeks, and it just makes me more shy... And please don't say I need to join clubs, because I TRIED at the beginning of the year and no one ever got back to me about joining. It happened several times

Sorry again to rant so much!

 

[x000x]

I know what you're saying about the clubbing and partying and stuff. I hate those things. The "parties" I go to are me and my friends hanging out at one of our houses or apartments and playing some games and chatting. I don't drink and it seems like everyone my age expects me to. They expect me to do things that seem inappropriate and rude to me. I ended up quitting college after a year and a half of going part time as of this semester. I couldn't stand it.

 

[Newtype]

I don't agree that you're supposed to be drinking, going to clubs and everything. That's just some Hollywood crap. I just think you need to find a friend, then another friend will come along, and another one, etc. You don't have to be the center of attention. As long as you're well surrounded, everything is good.

 

[JamesSmith]

Next week is my last week of university classes. This was my first year, and I was horribly disappointed. I guess I thought once I left high school, any social problems I had would be ironed out a bit because I thought there'd be less cliques, less he said/she said, etc. etc. But instead I just feel totally excluded.

Granted, I'm living off-campus in my hometown. I don't even have enough money to transfer So ya, it's partially not my fault that I haven't met a lot of people but the thing is...

In university, you are literally supposed to be drinking, going out to clubs and parties, hooking up, and stuff. But for me, that's never gonna happen, and I really feel like I have trouble relating to people my own age. I don't want to have random sex with some guy!!

I've been to parties (not at university) and they're ok, but I don't like them any more than say, meeting someone for lunch and chatting. I just don't really care about partying and clubbing, and everyone else does, and waaaahhh!

Also I haven't met any guys at all. I thought I'd maybe meet a few, even just to be friends (I've never had a boyfriend or even a single date!) but I haven't. Well sorry to rant, but I've been feeling very lonely for weeks, and it just makes me more shy... And please don't say I need to join clubs, because I TRIED at the beginning of the year and no one ever got back to me about joining. It happened several times

Sorry again to rant so much!

The one thing that is making you unhappy is the fact that you aren't connecting often enough with people. Since it sounds like you don't have any friends to build off of, the only way you'll make friends is if you make it happen. You have to find a way to put yourself around people first. If you hide in your room all the time, you'll never meet anyone.

You may even have to start conversations with people. Obviously this is tough for a shy person, but it may be necessary. It's very easy to be ignored if you never talk to people, and it also can make you unapproachable.

 

[Jeepster]

Actually I have made a few friends, a couple of girls I hang out with regularly and a few that are more casual but who I can text for notes... They don't know each other though, they're all sort of separate.
I dunno, maybe I'm just crazy... I suppose because I compare myself with others I make it worse. I guess there's always next year, but I'm a fatalist and believe things will turn out how they've always turned out... I just don't feel like I'm ever going to change, that I'll always be this invisible shrinking violet::

I could go in circles for ages!

 

[bigcat1967]

you are literally supposed to be drinking, going out to clubs and parties, hooking up, and stuff. But for me, that's never gonna happen, and I really feel like I have trouble relating to people my own age. I don't want to have random sex with some guy!!

College is one big party. Don't do this. Study your courses - that's what college is supposed to be about. Don't throw your life away on stupid parties.

With that said - surround yourself with good, solid friends.

 

[Duraldo]

Universities suck. Hollywood has created an image of college that's awesome experience of fun times and sexual promiscuity. I've made ONE friend, the entire 3 years I have been here, ONE, and it was because she lived near me, so technically I didn't meet her in class. If anything college is more socially isolating then high school, only difference is people don't harass you/bully you, they just ignore you! First semester at college I talked to random different girls, and I learned something about people at college, they're all self-absorbed jerks that are too busy texting some jerk BF at home to give you two seconds to talk to you. The majority of the people are just there to study, not to socialize, least that is my impression, they all have their little "cliques" and groups they talk to in and outside of class, and if you don't already know them, they want nothing to do with you. Clubs are worse too, I tried joining one, met the worst friend ever thru it. I wish your next few years to be better.....lord knows mine hasn't, I find it hard to even get up to go to class anymore, especially ones where we have "discussions" in. starting to feel lonely like HS again.

 

[JustAGuy]

Trust me, you should enjoy university while you can even if you are socially inept (no offense). This is the best time for you to be developing your social skills. I've just graduated university and about to enter the work force. One thing I've realized is that at work, youre forced to work with people different then yourselve whereas in university you can choose your friends or even choose to be alone. Mistakes in university will be forgotten, but mistakes or reputation in your career can last you a long time. This is a freedom that you should savior.

Good luck.

 

[Zav]

Eh, you're not "supposed" to party or do anything. It's probably better that you don't. I did the same thing; I go to a university but I live off campus, always have. But the common thing I've heard is the social experience living in dorms is totally different, of course. I'd suppose there it's inevitable for you to meet people and whatnot.
And I agree with a poster a few above me; it's completely ridiculous the image of college that is engrained in our minds - that we're supposed to party and whore ourselves out basically. There's nothing wrong with going to a party or meeting some friends, but I feel like people are given false and even harmful expectations before they go to college.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Trust me, you should enjoy university while you can even if you are socially inept (no offense). This is the best time for you to be developing your social skills. I've just graduated university and about to enter the work force. One thing I've realized is that at work, youre forced to work with people different then yourselve whereas in university you can choose your friends or even choose to be alone. Mistakes in university will be forgotten, but mistakes or reputation in your career can last you a long time. This is a freedom that you should savior.

Good luck.

Def. wished I was more social in university since I was scared of what others thouhgt of me. If I were more open then my career would've been better.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Graduating soon, and after some events recently just maube because realize it'll all be gone soon, feel like Bustn. Not even like more parties and stuff just simple, clubs, activities, one thing tonight I went to, really struck me. I just never looked for these things when I transferred for many reasons not just SA, depression, etc. And like this Health class I was forced to take by chance ... opened so much of these things to my vision and just WOW... strting enjoy things and too late. Tho its not too late...

Also realized I love my major and film but almost want pursue another degree just for interactions and knowledge. And ergo friends too this Health and Humanities dept. met some ppl tonight... didnt talk much but could tell wow I yeah. Ranting drifting in thought now. But nyways...

Try to enjoy it, dont let things stop you, seek out things before it's all over. Your experience there is what you make of it. I really didnt realize that until last few weeks.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

This is why i never went to Uni, despite the fact i regret that fact. The idea of being in those situations again really put me off, sitting in a still quiet room filled with people etc