I hate my life

Falkor

Falkor

1
Hi,

I feel terrible again, I'm sitting at home, again and again,
And I feel that my development is going worse.
I can't communicate, i can't socialize, because I'm stuck at home.
I can't go to school because I totally ****ed up by don't going.
And now i don't even have a school anymore.
And I rarely see a friend, and I can't even go to the dentist because I'm too anxious to get in.
What the hell Am I living for? To be hurt everyday?
I'm staying at my grandparents all week, and my grandma just told me that I computer way too much. That I'm addicted to this typemachine.
But what am I supposed to do, I don't have any things outside to go to.
Like all the other people, Okay I admit, I'm sad 'cause all the people I know have the perfect lifes, And they do social stuff.
Example, my causin, she goes out, she has plenty of friends, she goes to concerts, but i never do that.
I feel trapped, and I really want to change, but NOTHING HAPPENS !!!!
This makes me mad almost everyday, And I sometimes say the most worse things LIke that I wanna die.
I really HATE my life.
I'm sorry for all the negativity.. But I really need to write down my frustrations.. It makes me just so sad that we all with SA need to live like this.. It's crazy?!
There should be a SA campagn.. HELP FOR SA
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
What do you like?

I know when I get upset and too sad to do anything it's difficult to even attempt to make myself feel better. But usually I try to fine something to watch or something I can do online. I wish that there are interesting places I can get to easily but I am limited because I don't drive and I don't even have a job to get paid.

But when you get sad or angry, let it out. Write or whatever, then do something you enjoy.

I like to listen to music and watching something keeps my mind off things as long as it keeps my attention so that I won't start daydreaming.
 
G

giantyx

Well-known member
i feel the same way too::(:, i pray that things become better for everyone suffering from SA, agoraphobia, wadever disorders they may have...
 
EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
Sorry to dissapoint you, but I don't feel the same way. My life is bad, there are lots of stuff that I don't like about it, but I just don't care much about my life anymore. Not to care is a bliss.
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
Hi Saskia, I'm sorry that you feel this way, I feel exactly the same. I still go to school but it's exhausting me every day for just being there, around so many people. But I'm always thinking of what the result will be: a job.(Hopefully) It's gonna be hard to find a job with our problems but there at least are chances. And sadfully, other people ARE having the perfect lives .. I got some friends who don't come out either, but that's just because they're game-junkies, nothing wrong with their social skills. If I look outside I see happy people, having girl/boyfriends. They don't know where to go first, and me ? I'm here, at home at the PC, all day long. What makes it even worse ? The comments from other people .. Every schoolday at least one person of my class tells me: And ignace, what did you do this week-end ? Something aside computering ? Even my dad is always telling me: I'm gonna throw away that computer of yours .. You should socialize more, you're always inside, other teenagers are going out. And he says almost exact the same **** every time I see him again .....
Go to that dentist btw ! You don't want to end up with rotten teeth, do ya ?
 
Anomaly

Anomaly

Well-known member
EgoZero said:
Sorry to dissapoint you, but I don't feel the same way. My life is bad, there are lots of stuff that I don't like about it, but I just don't care much about my life anymore. Not to care is a bliss.
Click to expand...

This becomes powerful once the realization is made that such an idea doesn't arise simply from several bad instances in life but from life itself.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
Ignace said:
Hi Saskia, I'm sorry that you feel this way, I feel exactly the same. I still go to school but it's exhausting me every day for just being there, around so many people. But I'm always thinking of what the result will be: a job.(Hopefully) It's gonna be hard to find a job with our problems but there at least are chances. And sadfully, other people ARE having the perfect lives .. I got some friends who don't come out either, but that's just because they're game-junkies, nothing wrong with their social skills. If I look outside I see happy people, having girl/boyfriends. They don't know where to go first, and me ? I'm here, at home at the PC, all day long. What makes it even worse ? The comments from other people .. Every schoolday at least one person of my class tells me: And ignace, what did you do this week-end ? Something aside computering ? Even my dad is always telling me: I'm gonna throw away that computer of yours .. You should socialize more, you're always inside, other teenagers are going out. And he says almost exact the same **** every time I see him again .....
Go to that dentist btw ! You don't want to end up with rotten teeth, do ya ?
Click to expand...
Thanks Ignace :), You are that guy from my Msn aren't you?
And you're right , school has chances, so that's important
I hope that I can join school again. soon.
My dad also told me a few times that he will throw my computer away too. lol
And I went to the dentist later, I wasn't able to wait in the waiting-room, but the dentist picked me up outside of the waiting room, and that went good.
He is a very good caring dentist, my mom choose him because I feel safe around him.


And about the person who didn't feel the same, it's OK. everybody feels different. I'm happy for you that you feel better then feeling so dissapointed in life.
That's much better. Just live your life and deal with it. like that i guess.
 
Dronee

Dronee

1
I think that physically staying indoors all the time and not doing much actual physical activity makes a person sick or aggravates feelings of being down. I try to do a jog or something like that at least twice a week. Or at the very least, a short walk around a park or just a trip to the local mall or grocery store. Using the computer for prolonged periods of time just isn't healthy. I used to do this often and still do this, but I'm trying to cut down on it.
 
MarkW

MarkW

Member
We're all trapped in a cycle which builds off itself. Were unhappy because of social phobia, and social phobia feeds off this unhappiness. I myself just cannot find anything to be happy about. Have no purpose in life, and nothing to live for. And I seriously consider this: If I am to live my life the way I currently do, then there is no point to suffer. I sometimes think a bullet in the brain will reorganize my thoughts for the better. That's negativity for you. So why do we continue living? I have no idea?

On a side note, I want to share a revelation. Last year I met a girl, with whose presence I managed to forget about SA. I went from a quite shy social-phobic freak to an appealing alpha-male conversationalist. The Experience was Amazing! I felt normal. The feeling was basically that you didn't think about what you were saying, you simply said it. I forgot about my surroundings, it was purely myself and her. When she left (cuz she was on holidays), I went back to being quite. For that short period I managed to experience what its like being normal and I'll never forget it.

So the moral of the story...Perhaps one way of overcoming our phobia is to find a partner. In my case, I didn't even do anything, cuz we just simply met. Her mere presence refrained the phobic behavior. So my suggestion, do as much as you can and get out there, cuz you never know when you will meet someone who can instantaneously cure you from SA. Remember, it's all psychological.
 
Masychefx2

Masychefx2

Banned
i totally can relate, it took me 3 months to book a doctors appointment to talk about my anxiety which i have soon and the last time i went to do this was one year ago and he didnt listen to me like he doesnt understand whats its like, like evryone else. I almost dropped out of college as the socialising was so hard some days i didt go in or just missed classes and the presentation at the end of year got me really nervous. Previously to college i dropped out of my A levels 6 months in as i just couldnt deal with socialising.
 
EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
Masychefx2 said:
i totally can relate, it took me 3 months to book a doctors appointment to talk about my anxiety which i have soon and the last time i went to do this was one year ago and he didnt listen to me like he doesnt understand whats its like, like evryone else. I almost dropped out of college as the socialising was so hard some days i didt go in or just missed classes and the presentation at the end of year got me really nervous. Previously to college i dropped out of my A levels 6 months in as i just couldnt deal with socialising.
Click to expand...
Same experience with doctors for me :)
 
Johno

Johno

Well-known member
Saskia sounds like a wanna be wife.... Posssibly from Eatern Europe and looking for a naive husband ......Be warned...........
 
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