I get so nervous I just can't hide it.

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

I've never been good at faking it or pretending to be something I'm not. I'm usually very honest and I can't really lie either because I have no poker face. But this is such a problem when I get anxious and nervous because people can see exactly how I feel and that is one of the most embarrassing things to me. I wish I could at least pretend to be confident so I didn't have to make other people uncomfortable as well.

So today it got really bad and I was so embarrassed because of it. This is what happened, I'm taking this course to become a stewardess on a yacht and today we were going to have training at a restaurant owned by a famous chef. I know him from my favourite show on tv so I have watched him on tv all this season basically. So I was kind of excited to meet him and nervous obviously. So I start working and I meet him on the run and just shake his hand and then off again and that went fine but that's not the embarrassing part. It happens at the end of day when I'm in the changing room and the other girl I'm taking the course with is already done so she has went out already. I hear who I think is the chef and my teacher from the course talking outside of the door and I know my teacher is waiting for me and I also want to be able to say bye and thanks to the chef so I get kind of stressed and hurry out.

He is right there when I get out of the door and reaches out his hand. I take it and I was planning to say thanks for having us but I get to thanks and then my mind just went blank and then the rest of the words starts to come out really slowly and out of rhythm. I feel such panic as this is happening. I sound like a retard for real. He laughs a little and I get so embarrassed I can barely look at him after that.

What I usually do when I'm really nervous and have to say something to someone is that I repeat what I'm going to say several times in my head until I feel secure enough to deliver it like a line. But now there wasn't time for that and I just got caught off guard in the moment. It's such a catch 22 because I get nervous because I might embarrass myself when I often wouldn't embarrass myself if I wasn't so nervous.

To me this is one of the worst type of embarrassment becuase other things you can usually take solace in that it could happen to anyone but this incident feels so specific to me and I just gets so embarrassed over myself as a person instead of an incident that isn't as personally connected to just me.

Does this happen to anyone else when you get nervous? That it effects the way you talk and you sound really weird? Please tell me I'm not the only one. :sad:

 

[jaim38]

It definitely has happened to me before. This week I had a webcam chat with 2 teammates for a group project. When I saw the first guy pop up on screen, I was blushing like h*ll and just curling my lips inwards a lot to prevent myself from laughing. Sometimes I just randomly smile for no reason. In some phone calls, I experienced very bad word salad. My sound sounds shaky and I don't make sense. Sometimes I ask crazy questions like "Is this unique?...." and awkward silence follows. Totally embarassed!

 

[Kiwong]

Yes, it happens to me. Some people I can barely talk to at all. I come across sounding so unintelligent. You know it someone else was shy with me, I wouldn't think the worse of them, I think shyness isn't a bad trait in a person. I think people with shyness and anxiety are too hard on themselves.

 

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

It's good to know I'm not the only one at least. I know many always say we are being too hard on ourselves but I feel there is such a pressure from society for social interactions to run smoothly so it won't get uncomfortable and awkward that when you mess up you feel so stupid and embarrassed. This is what I get for trying to do something and get out of the house. Now I feel like I can't meet the world and just want to hide away again.